What if Michael Bay had directed 'The Dark Knight'?

Jelana Wed, Jul 9, 2008 at 03:01 PM EST

I kinda get why the people commenting on The Spill's site thought it was a real script. Knowing Bay's work, if I hadn't been clued in I might have thought is was real as well. And I wear glasses, so you know I'm smart.

Spill Movie Reviews Wed, Jul 9, 2008 at 02:37 PM EST

Hey all! Thanks so much for picking this up and for everyone's comments. We've enjoyed reading your reactions to this unearthed script ;)

Thanks again!
-The Spill Crew

Rob Grizzly Wed, Jul 9, 2008 at 09:07 AM EST

Insanely funny.

They should do an M Night Shamaylan version, where every body just stares ominously at each other for 2 hours, interrupted by the occasional loud noise. And then the twist is The Joker IS Batman!

Jim Wed, Jul 9, 2008 at 08:23 AM EST

Wow, that is scary accurate. My favorite part is all the military porn that Bay gets off on, like the numerous exterior shots of the Pentagon.

Ryan Tue, Jul 8, 2008 at 07:03 PM EST

Wait...where is the slo-mo shot of kids running with Batmobiles in their hands? Or the people of all ages and ethnicities huddling around to get news as Gotham teeters in the balance?

Still epically funny!

t3hdow Tue, Jul 8, 2008 at 05:46 PM EST

I laughed the most on the parts describing the overabundance of explosions with tanks emerging from the blast, and the way overdone camera angles, fixating on Rachel Dawes.
The 'internets' line was also pretty good.

the ricker Tue, Jul 8, 2008 at 04:14 PM EST

Thanks a lot. Now I need to wash my brain out with bleach to kill the image of Batman slo mo walking with the violins in the background. I'm sure joker and his minions would be doin' the slo mo as well.

Raven_Moon Tue, Jul 8, 2008 at 04:06 PM EST

That was hilarious & frightening all at once.

Rich Tue, Jul 8, 2008 at 04:05 PM EST

Laugh all you want. It was still better than Batman and Robin.

Epitrite@aol.com Tue, Jul 8, 2008 at 04:02 PM EST

I read the faux script...that's Independence Day. LOL!

Laura M Tue, Jul 8, 2008 at 03:13 PM EST

This was pure gold. Thanks for posting!

GeeMoney Tue, Jul 8, 2008 at 02:08 PM EST

Ha ha. How about Uwe Boll? Talk about craptastic!

Ep Sato Tue, Jul 8, 2008 at 01:55 PM EST

M and Stephanie T, LOL!

The upside of a Rattner flick is that we could get Johnny Drama to cameo in it...

Ep Sato Tue, Jul 8, 2008 at 01:53 PM EST

Susman, every now and then you make one gem of a posting. That you've filed a Micheal Bay concept in the "hell to the no" pile wins you mega brownie points with me.

Once I saw Bay's 3 hour vision of Pearl Harbor (the movie was longer than the actual invasion BTW), I could no longer give this man any love. His Verizon commercial was cool, but the world's better off with him directing movies based on toy franchises than movies based on comics or someone else's idea (ahem. The Island) ...

M Tue, Jul 8, 2008 at 01:49 PM EST

Well, that would still be marginally better than Batman: The Last Stand as directed by Brett Ratner!

Tim Lade Tue, Jul 8, 2008 at 01:27 PM EST

Gary I think a slow mo fireball walk is more John Woo no?

Stephanie T. Tue, Jul 8, 2008 at 01:06 PM EST

What if Michael Bay directed Batman?

The movie would have an awesome pussycat.

Tue, Jul 8, 2008 at 01:03 PM EST

Hillarious, though the funniest part is the amount of people who posted in TheSpill.com's comments section thinking that the script was real.

ames Tue, Jul 8, 2008 at 12:56 PM EST

It's really sad/funny how close I can imagine this is to an actual Michael Bay script. lol It works in some movies...just not Batman.

jcarla Tue, Jul 8, 2008 at 12:56 PM EST

Do you know how much I shuddered just looking at the title!?! NEVER do that to us again! You are bringing on teh curse of Schmacher!

Alex Tue, Jul 8, 2008 at 12:43 PM EST

That's a horrible hypothetical. Now let's never speak of it again.

Ceballos Tue, Jul 8, 2008 at 12:42 PM EST

My favorite part: "She's the hottest woman in the world but she wears glasses because she is also the smartest woman in the world"

Jackie Tue, Jul 8, 2008 at 12:36 PM EST

Hi-larious. Best line by far: "Which internets do we hack?" "All of them."

Brillz. Absolutely love it. I'd pay $10 to see this, just to laugh.