'Bachelor' Matt Grant officially a bachelor again!

British Bachelor Matt Grant and his fiancée/"Monkey," Shayne Lamas, have finally acknowledged their split. We'd like to help them remember the "good" times. After the jump, a trip down memory lane, courtesy of our Mini TV Watches.

March 18: And then we come to Shayne, the actress from Malibu, who only falls into the could-be-crazy category because she thought she needed to tell us that it's really no big deal that her dad is Lorenzo Lamas.

March 25: The second group date found the other seven girls accompanying Matt on his first trip to Sin City. Kelly, who always seems to be slurring her words (read: drunk), won some alone time with Matt by being the best gambler. This pissed off Shayne, as did Matt choosing to spend time with anyone who wasn't her. I feel like we missed the beginning of Shayne's tantrum, but cameras caught up with her in time to hear her tell Matt, "You have 20 other girls downstairs eying [sic] for your attention, and do you think that I am a person that is, like, you know, waiting in the wings, and, like, would do this not to get to know you?" No, Shayne, he thinks you're a person who signed up for a show that has ALWAYS had 25 girls vying for the attention of one man — so suck it up. As Shayne admitted when she sulked after Chelsea got the group-date rose, "I'm used to getting my way. I'm used to getting a million roses." This is why I think Matt should trust his instincts — as opposed to his twig and berries, which believe stunning Shayne is beyond his level of attractiveness — and not trust her. She says she doesn't feel this way about anyone. That's because no man ever makes her chase him. Shayne assured Matt that she was there for him, and he kept her around despite insisting that the drama was a big turn-off. (Strike three.)

April 1: While the other girls were playing Rugby, Shayne was at the mansion with Holly, suffering. "I'm dying. I need to tan so bad," she said. Turns out Holly somehow brought a spray tan machine with her and though she didn't want the other girls to know about it, offered to give Shayne a coat. I guess Shayne isn't on this show to further her acting career, because that scene was RIDICULOUS. I wonder if producers had to beg to film that, or if Shayne was happy to be shown with a black bar across her va-jay-jay? Regardless, Shayne was ready for her one-on-one with Matt — wine-tasting, dinner, and snuggling by a fire. Matt always has a strange smile on his face when she's talking. I don't really think that he buys a word she says, I just think he wants to enjoy the "ultimate L.A. sex kitten" while he can and finds the moments when she's trying to hide who she is as amusing as the ones that reveal it, i.e. "This is my top 5, right here. I'm into cars, shoes, ohmygod, handbags, sunglasses, and watches. I think if you have all those five, it doesn't matter what you're wearing on your body." Matt gave her a rose because when he's making out with her, he feels 16 again. When he watched the way she flipped her head around after he asked her if she'd accept that rose, I wonder if he felt like she was pretending to be in a movie. (I did.)

April 15: On to Shayne, the queen of cuddling, who impressed Matt on the group date with her snowboarding skills and her ability to pack half her makeup bag into the pockets of her jacket. "I have to look good for you, babe," she said. (Cannot wait to see Matt meet her dad, Lorenzo Lamas, next week!)

April 22: Matt met Shayne and her father, whom he correctly identified as "a bit of a star," at a restaurant. Seriously disappointing. Was Lorenzo afraid we'd hunt him down if we saw his home?  (Oh, you surprisingly handsome, delusional man.) Shayne was nervous because she had once introduced a guy to her father, and the dude admitted that he'd met Shayne at a bar in a club. Why would this be at all shocking to Lorenzo? (Unless, maybe Shayne was underage at the time, and producers edited that part of the story out?) Anyway, I thought Lorenzo was actually a thoughtful, decent dad. He told the camera that he'd been married at 21, and didn't want Shayne to rush in to anything. So, he set her up: He told Matt that he thought she was on the show for the exposure, that "She wants to be a good actress, but she wants to be a star more. This was her opportunity to be on television, right? I mean, come on." Lorenzo wanted to give Shayne an out, or, hear her say that she was on the show for Matt — which she did. Lorenzo's conversation with Matt — about wanting him to be careful with Shayne's emotions, which he himself had toyed with by not being in her life as much as he should've been — wasn't patronizing; it was sweet.

Next came the visit to Shayne's mother's house, which Matt also correctly identified as having leopard everywhere. "I was kinda digging it," he said. And shockingly, so was I. Yes, it'd be easy to take shots at Shayne's mom for being a walking L.A. stereotype, but the fact is, you could feel her warmth, and that of her home. Serving Matt English food, showing him a video of Shayne dancing when she was younger, asking him how he'd feel watching Shayne kiss a costar — she was real. By the end of the date, Matt admitted that he had no more doubts about the Cuddle Master's motives for being on the show. We'll see if he sticks to that story...

April 29: Shayne was Matt's first date in Barbados, and since he's no longer worried that she's on the show just to become Paris Hilton, he was able to focus his attention on what really matters: Shayne doing split jumps on a trampoline. Canoodling in the ocean, in the sand, and in the swimming pool. Figuring out if Shayne's dumb blond act is, as he suspects, just an act. Does she just ask stupid questions — e.g. "Do they have palm trees in London?" and "I'm intellectual — is that how you say that word?" — because  she thinks it's cute, and not because she doesn't know the answer. I can't decide what annoyed me more: That Shayne thinks playing dumb is a good way to keep a relationship "spicy," or that apparently, it works. (Matt said he "loves it." And that he could easily seem himself with Shayne, his "little monkey.") I do believe Shayne is smart, and knows when she's being entertaining (schooling Matt on the art of the tongue-less actor kiss) and giving a good sound bite: "To be honest with you, I love being blond. I love it. I've been blond since I was 12, maybe 13." I'd like to say that her fate will depend on whether she knows when to cut the act (meaning, when meeting Matt's parents), but I don't think Matt really considers her a potential life partner. Telling the camera that he was "seriously touched" by Shayne expressing that she's falling in love with him, to me, seemed like a nice way of saying, "I'm flattered. I didn't think my little monkey had it in her." I could be totally wrong. Am I?

May 13: In the end, it came down to Chelsea's energy versus Shayne's warmth and total devotion to Matt (which he preferred to describe as "not having a selfish bone in her body"). He told Shayne that he'd looked into her big, brown eyes and thought it was too good to be true: An Englishman falling in love with an American movie star. But she made him believe that's she's just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her — okay, I'm paraphrasing. There's been laughter, fun, kisses, and "there's been monkey," he said. He knows they'll always be there for one another, he added, before dropping to one knee. Seeing Shayne lose her balance was awfully cute. As was her (rehearsed?) comeback: "I will marry you under one condition, that you will never look at another woman for the rest of our lives.... because you have looked at way too many during our relationship."

It's no wonder Shayne made Matt repeat the words "I love you" again and again. On their last night together before the final rose ceremony — after she dreamed about Matt proposing to her while floating through the sky like an angel (or, you know, parasailing) — she'd given him what she called the most amazing gift he'd ever receive from her. It was a photo of her, laying on the beach, next to an "I love you" she'd written in the sand. You could see she really wanted Matt to say the words then. But all she got was "Without a doubt, I'm falling in love with you." (Chelsea's post-helicopter-ride present, "Matt's California Survival Kit" complete with breakfast-in-bed cereal, earned the same response minus the "without a doubt"... telling?)

So, do you agree with Matt's choice, or do you agree with Chelsea that he's a fool?