'High School Musical: Get In The Picture' recap: All Paulas, no Simons
Jul 21, 2008, 11:28 AM | by Jeff Jensen
Categories: 'High School Musical: Get in the Picture', Mini TV Watch, Reality TV
I’ll say this about ABC's High School Musical: Get In The Picture:
it's certainly no American Idol, and intentionally so. The tone was
set immediately with the very first contestant hopeful, beauty pageant
winner Amy Hooker, a “please” and “thank you” gal who at least
earned this praise from judge Tiana Brown: “Your manners are
adorable!” Hooker, who warbled through her rendition of “Part Of Your
World” from The Little Mermaid (Had to look that up. Honest!),
didn’t make it to the next round, but she did get a critique that
aspired to be genuinely constructive. “Let in come organically,”
beseeched Brown, as if determined to change some lives here. “Believe…”
With that parting gift of wisdom, Hooker was released into the warm
Orlando sunshine, still not famous but made slightly better by the
experience. And she smiled.
Welcome to the Disneyfication of the prime-time talent show, a world where niceness reigns and mean people aren’t allowed. The judges (“faculty members” in the HSM:GITP parlance) are uniformly upbeat—all Paulas, not a Simon in the bunch—who attentively assess each contestant and dutifully take notes in their leather journals. They seem to think they’re on a hanky-lite, talent-show version of Extreme Makeover or even Three Wishes (“We’re going to make somebody’s life!” gushed judge Jen Malenke), though the reward is surprisingly meager: the winner gets…a part in a music video promoting the forthcoming High School Musical 3, the next installment in a billion dollar franchise with 400 million fans around the world. (I know these facts because the show told me.)
Then again, maybe winning a role in a commercial would sound a lot sexier if host Nick Lachey tried a little harder to sell it. Jessica Simpson’s ex-husband emcees with such fake-smile heartlessness, it's as if the whole thing is painfully reminding him that before he became an infotainer, he , too, aspired to be something like a pop star. If you’re trying to inspire kids to fame, it’s probably not a good idea to cast a cautionary tale as host.
Unless that’s the point. Is Disney trying to redeem the reality show as we know it? This thing is so humble, so “values”-oriented, that even the Amish might watch, if they allowed themselves TV, and darn it if the first episode gave them reason to do so by recruiting one of their own to participate: James Wolpert, a young Amish-but-doesn’t-dress-Amish lad who “writes in his journal every day” (or so we were told in an on-screen graphic) and who plays in a cover band with a set list that includes naughty rock like “My Sharona.” Wolpert was one of several contestants who were secretly nominated for the show by a teacher or parent and who received “surprise” visits from the judges for a final vetting before being brought aboard. But my hunch is that Wolpert’s candidacy was actually backed by some Amish chamber of commerce trying to promote a new image. “I am not the most well trained singer in the country,” reported Wolpert, “but I will definitely rock you so hard.” We have so been put on notice.
Still, as a sucker for all things High School Musical and a card-carrying member of the 400 million, I'm in. And I live in hope that my pop culture crush Vanessa Hudgens will stop by for a “mentor visit.” So come back here every Monday for your mini-recap. I’ll be here. I might be diabetic from all the sweetness by the end, but I’ll be here.
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