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'America's Got Talent' recap: Queen Emily rescues the hyperbole-fest

Jul 23, 2008, 10:51 AM | by Jaya Saxena

Categories: 'America's Got Talent', Mini TV Watch, Ouch! That was my ear!, Reality TV

Fifty-five million people agree…America's Got Talent was on last night!

We started this week of brazen hyperbole back in New York (again) after six weeks of tryouts. Don't ask me when we're going to get to the actual season. Check back in November and we might be on our fifth trip back to Atlanta. First up was the woeful Perry Zanett, self-proclaimed "Greatest Actor this country has ever had." He ran his monologue right into poor Yorick's grave, and the next 10 minutes worth of acts weren't much better, which got me wondering if there's anyone undiscovered and talented left in New York. Really? No one? There was a really good barbershop quartet on the subway yesterday, where the hell were they?

Apparently the overwhelming lack of talent started playing games with the judges' minds, seeing how Ronny B., accurately dubbed a "strange little fellow" by Sharon, advanced to Vegas by giving the least sexy song-and-dance routine I've ever seen (embedded clip below, if you dare). Now don't get me wrong: I understand the joy of personal expression. So you go, Ronny B., dance your heart out. But please, make yourself happy in the privacy of your own home.

It wasn't all off-key caterwauling and monologuing, though. Every episode of America’s Got Talent is required by federal law (seriously!) to have at least one heart-wrenching back story from a soulful singer, and Xavier Lewis (X.L.) fit the bill quite nicely. This is a man working hard to keep food on the table for his wife and infant son, but who also dreams of Vegas glory, and thank God this time the story had a happy (and tuneful) ending. Lewis sang "Ordinary People" so well that Piers Morgan declared him better than John Legend. And the audience savored the rare minute of auditory bliss.

There's a cadence to every episode of America's Got Talent. Basically, for the first 42 minutes, the show makes you lose faith in humanity and entertainment. And then they give you Queen Emily. Emily, the single mom. Emily, who’s unable to keep a job. Emily, with a voice I’d trade a finger for. Emily, whose church-grown pipes make the Hoff get up and dance (and, from the looks of it, unbutton at least two more buttons on his shirt). Why do you always do this, America’s Got Talent?  I’m always so ready to become the pessimist, and then you make me regret not stocking up on tissues. You're evil that way, and I keep coming back for more.

So does America’s Got Talent make you cry, make you want to change the channel, or a little of both? Will Ronny B. just end up playing at bus stations in Vegas? And how does Sharon manage to make an insult (“you look like a shrunken Marc Anthony”) sound cute?

charlie Wed, Oct 1, 2008 at 09:27 PM EST

Too bad the Queen lost! She was really great and even though Neil is a very fine singer, I can't see opera in Vegas. The Elton John sound-a-like was good, but Vegas already has Elton sewed up. I'm tired of cliff hanger winning results that take 20 seconds and then 5 commercials. Jerry Springer is nice enough, but turned me off with his previous show. Nuff said... I'm done with this POS.

Shirl Fri, Sep 26, 2008 at 02:12 PM EST

Queen Emily - You were born to sing "Free at Last" from Roger Miller's Broadway show "Big River"! Hope you check it out.

Mary Ellen in London Thu, Sep 18, 2008 at 02:58 PM EST

Queen Emily conjures up visions of Mahalia Jackson and Ella Fitzgerald. Nuttin but Stringz is sheer dynamite and Neal E. Boyd rocks your soul! I would buy tickets to any of them - Please add London Ontario to your your tour stops.

yumrhtbl emfho Wed, Aug 27, 2008 at 10:36 AM EST

ykvsj bikyfhxr yekm ightur degbqsuoy exklypa vlbcted

GeorgeG Fri, Aug 8, 2008 at 08:19 AM EST

I like the show but it is a phony to say some of these stars are amateurs or non-pros. Google some of them and you will see that they are already performing pro or semi-pro. Example: Daniel Jens, the soldier, has a website whereas he is selling his mp3's and CD's and is a well-know Christian songwriter/performer. Did he flub those words on purpose to make it look like he is an amateur? In past seasons, the Amazing leonid already was perfoming in Vegas in a revue and so were the couple who constantly changed their clothes in amazement in front of everyone. The sword swallower too has a website and is a professional performer. C'mon, show raw talent like they do on the Brit version. The jiggly dancer/cheerleader groups are BORING!!!! Keep it for the half-time shows at the basketball games. Would you pay $80 to see that? as the Hoff put it for one of the acts. It is a nice premise of a show, but leave out the pros.

Anne Traeger Sat, Jul 26, 2008 at 01:37 PM EST

Don't know his name but the man who sang "You Raise Me Up" was wonderful. He is surely a winner. Thank you

wjm Thu, Jul 24, 2008 at 03:20 PM EST

To Frustrated: AMEN! Are these people high? Why would I want to see faceless audience members or celebs I can stare at in any tabloid? k

Frustrated Thu, Jul 24, 2008 at 10:54 AM EST

I'm getting ready to give up on this show - but only because I am tired of the HORRIBLE camera work. Why do they think we'd rather see audience reaction over the actual performance? For every 1 minute performance, the camera only shows about 15 seconds. The rest is audience and judges. Not sure how much longer I can hold on.

Jeanette Ayala Thu, Jul 24, 2008 at 04:06 AM EST

IMO the judges were over the top when it came to "overpraising" Emily. She was good - but NOT THAT GOOD. She came across as another gospel singer with a big voice, but nothing unique about her.

Lois Thu, Jul 24, 2008 at 01:23 AM EST

I agree with Melinda65, show the acts instead of the audience and judges. The judges get enough face time when judging the acts.

sarah Wed, Jul 23, 2008 at 11:45 PM EST

queen emily is realy good!!! i think she might win!

Greg p. Wed, Jul 23, 2008 at 08:28 PM EST

Another thing:the olymopics start presumably after the vegas callbacks. so we ony get 2 weeks or so of competition?

mrclean Wed, Jul 23, 2008 at 06:00 PM EST

I love how they were saying " this is the end of the audition round.....in 2 weeks.!!"

Pepper Wed, Jul 23, 2008 at 05:48 PM EST

Long live Queen Emily! Girlfriend can flat out SING!

me Wed, Jul 23, 2008 at 04:04 PM EST

emily will win

Stan The Man Wed, Jul 23, 2008 at 03:17 PM EST

To Sally in Chicago-you're still an idiot. The prize from "America's Got Talent" is $1 Million. The contract he signed with the hotel is $110 million. Duh.

Sally in Chicago Wed, Jul 23, 2008 at 03:13 PM EST

Dave St Louis: No way man. $110Million? I think you're way off base. The prize is $1Mill not $110Mill.

Sally in Chicago Wed, Jul 23, 2008 at 03:10 PM EST

Dave St Louis: No way man. $110Million? I think you're way off base. The prize is $1Mill not $110Mill.

rockgolf Wed, Jul 23, 2008 at 02:55 PM EST

Call me a cynic, but Queen Emily was just a better than average Legends cover act of Aretha. Good, yes, remarkable, no. Worth a million? Hardly.

And by the way, according to the fine print the million is paid over 40 years! That means for those slutty cheerleaders, should either troup win, about $800/year each.

Ma Wed, Jul 23, 2008 at 02:47 PM EST

Better Jerry Springer than Ryan Seacrest. At least Jerry is in on the joke.

JB Wed, Jul 23, 2008 at 02:19 PM EST

Springer not only brings nothing to the table on this show, he pretty much walks out the front door with the fine china under his jacket. But then again, this show is really nothing more than a Jerry Springer show - complete with a moronic shouting audience - with "talent" instead of paternity tests, so maybe he fits right in.

Stan The Man Wed, Jul 23, 2008 at 01:19 PM EST

Oh, and to Sally in Chicago? You're an idiot. Jerry Springer's imitation of a demented grandmother watching from the wings is the biggest waste of space on TV. The best ratings grabber this show could do is have a sand bag or crane drop and take him out.

CZ Wed, Jul 23, 2008 at 01:10 PM EST

Some of the acts they put thru to Vegas, I can't even imagine paying money to see them! The so called "judges" really need to get a clue. There is one act I especially like from one of the earlier shows. It's Nuttin' but Stringz. These two young guys can really play the violin. I first saw them perform at the Big E, a country fair in MA. They blew everybody away with their talent. Check out their web site at www.nuttinbutstringz.com

Melinda65 Wed, Jul 23, 2008 at 12:49 PM EST

A little of both. I don't mind the sob stories, but I feel manipulated by the way the show does them. And if the idiot audience is going to be allowed to boo and generally behave like ill-behaved slobs, then the sound people have to turn down their volume so they don't drown out the act (although with Ronny, that was actually a blessing.) And it would be nice if we were allowed to see more of the acts--especially those that are sent through--than be "treated" to the quick cuts to the judges and audience. I really don't know why I keep watching, other than the chance that there might be another act of the caliber of Terry Fator.

Brenda Crank Wed, Jul 23, 2008 at 12:40 PM EST

Now, now, if those cute little college dance teams would agree to just take off their shirts, Vegas would eat them up like candy.

Donald Marburger Wed, Jul 23, 2008 at 12:34 PM EST

Thank God for TIVO. I enjoy the show but there is so much so called talent going to Las Vegas that isn't deserving. We like to fast forward through the show to avoid the pain of the bad acts.
I would love to know when and where in Las Vegas this talented group assembles and if the general public has a chance to get tickets.

Stan The Man Wed, Jul 23, 2008 at 12:34 PM EST

I loved the way they mixed up the show last night. Instead of closing the show with an overweight, tear filled, black male singer with a sob story, they brought in an overweight, tear filled, black FEMALE singer with a sob story. Now that's what I call variety!

Bob from Ft.Lauderdale Wed, Jul 23, 2008 at 12:24 PM EST

The college dance troups are a dime a dozen and on every major campus. I don't think they should be encouraged or put through to finals. What next? Every campus choir? I think they should be single acts that CAN possibly be booked for Vegas shows. I'm liking some of the singers- Queen Emily was hot. It IS a fun show.

Jackie Wed, Jul 23, 2008 at 11:24 AM EST

I loved this show last season and was glad to see my two favorites the top two. But I am really, really getting sick of these auditions. Seriously, how many sob stories do we have to hear before we get to the real competition already! Argh! The stories actually ruin the act for me. By the time they get to the singing, I've stopped listening.

Still watching the show though. I do like it and I am looking forward to seeing some of the competetors again in Vegas (if we ever get there...).

Cajunsblues Wed, Jul 23, 2008 at 11:07 AM EST

The Ventriliquist guy had a strong showing. WAY too many dance groups have been put through. But for vegas. The sexier the better i guess.
As for the Queen, she was great and I hope she stays strong till the end.

davestlouis Wed, Jul 23, 2008 at 11:02 AM EST

Sally,

If you did not watch last year, the winner was Terry Fator. He has signed a 110 million dollar contract to appear at Steve Winn's Mirage in Las Vegas, with a potential extension with an additional 100 million. I guess that qualifies for bigger and better things, doesn't it?

Heather Wed, Jul 23, 2008 at 10:49 AM EST

What I don't like about America's Got Talent is that it's all about the singers and the back stories are designed to make me cry...and yet somehow never do. Britain's Got Talent is way more diverse and I actually buy that some of those people don't know how the reality competition works and are playing the story for all it's worth. (Paul Potts being the last time a "story" has actually gotten me.)

Sally in Chicago Wed, Jul 23, 2008 at 10:24 AM EST

I don't watch it anymore because it became too "gong" showish for me. Or maybe it's "Showtime at the Apolloish"....anyway, I see the clips and honestly, has any contestant on that show gone on to bigger & better things? After about 20 minutes, I'm bored and have to turn it off...however, Jerry Springer is very good at hosting.

MC Wed, Jul 23, 2008 at 10:23 AM EST

How many huge multi-person dance groups have they put through already? As if any of them have a shot. They put through a college dance team, as if all these 18-20 year olds are going to be able to stop school and perform in Vegas for a year or more if they won.

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