What are the worst TV theme song lyrics ever?

K Tue, Oct 28, 2008 at 12:13 PM EST

...and who could forget Mr. Ed?

A horse is a horse
of course, of course...talk to Mr. Ed!

al Thu, Oct 9, 2008 at 12:04 AM EST

does anyone know who plays the closing theme from King of Queens ?

al Thu, Oct 9, 2008 at 12:04 AM EST

does anyone know who plays the closing theme from King of Queens ?

Marlene Wed, Oct 8, 2008 at 06:59 AM EST

I see no one's put down Chuck Norris "singing" the theme to his horrendously violent and cheesy series "Walker, Texas Ranger"!

ELIZABETH Tue, Sep 23, 2008 at 04:53 PM EST

Silv - that is the song Closer to Free by the Bodeans.

Ellie Sun, Sep 7, 2008 at 06:39 PM EST

The disney show ''The Replacements''

its horrible.

Robert in CA Tue, Jul 29, 2008 at 06:12 PM EST

The PBS series History Detectives... the singer makes it sounds more like "flatulence detectives" than the actual "watching the dectectives" lyric.

Wed, Jul 23, 2008 at 03:47 PM EST

In the Frasier theme, the tossed salads and scrambled eggs are used as metaphors for the crazy, mixed up "patients" who call his radio show for advice...so they're not just ramdom non-sequiturs.

Sun, Jun 22, 2008 at 12:30 PM EST

Dru perhaps you are trite... weeds theme song kicks ass!

Silv Mon, Jun 16, 2008 at 09:22 AM EST

Dork that I am, I've had a song in my head the last week that I'm pretty sure is the theme song to Party of Five -
Everybody wants to live,
Like they wanna live
And everybody wants to love
Like they wanna love
And everybody wants to be
Closer to free
Everybody wants respect, just a little bit
And everybody needs a chance, once in a while
Everybody wants to be
Closer to Free

What's the relevance to the show??

what? Mon, Jun 16, 2008 at 04:07 AM EST

defending, for no valid reason, i guess, the theme song for that 70s show, which anna so hatefully dismissed. that's a big star song, originally. and alex chilton is a god.

Michael Wed, Jun 11, 2008 at 10:44 PM EST

King of Queens. Just awful.

Bonnie Mon, Jun 9, 2008 at 04:43 PM EST

PINKEY AND THE BRAIN!! omg that song would get stuck in my head for daaaaaays!! "pinkey and the brain pinkey and the brain one is a genious the other's insane..." i hated that show as a kid because of that awful song!!

Also, CSI:NY had the best song ever and then they changed it and now it just hurts to listen to it!

birdgirl39 Fri, Jun 6, 2008 at 03:41 PM EST

@ Snarf....
Land of the Lost
Doctor Shrinker
Electro Woman and (Dyna-Girl is her name BTW)
were by far the worst shows ever. Ever.
We kids had no choice but to watch these, because programming for kids, well, SUCKED!
I have always held a deep loathing for The Scooby-Doo theme song. Frankly, the more I think about this, the more I realize that I'd be better off listing the ones I actually LIKE!

Fri, Jun 6, 2008 at 01:05 PM EST

The Facts of Life.

LoveMeSomeTV Fri, Jun 6, 2008 at 01:03 PM EST

This is reaching. But Oprah once sang her own theme song for a season. "I belive I can run on.." Very out of tune and uncomfortable for all of us Winfreyites. I love the "Frasier" theme song just cause I love to hear Kelsey Grammer sing. Anything. I loved his "Something Stupid" duet with Marge on "The Simpsons". I even loved his version of "Eternal Flame" on the Tracey Ullman Show. Wish he would tour...

ChelseaSY Fri, Jun 6, 2008 at 09:56 AM EST

Gilmore Girls theme song is the worst, because the Gilmore Girls themselves would hate it. Also all the la la music that is played throughtout the series...love the show, hate the music

Alisa Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 08:59 PM EST

Love the Blossom theme. http://youtube.com/watch?v=kBfHlBlfRyQ

DanOregon Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 04:06 PM EST

And I think the theme for The Shield is incredibly effective in setting the tone for the show, it might be the ugliest sounding theme of all times.

DanOregon Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 04:00 PM EST

As we learned watching Scott Baio is 45 and Single, Charles WAS in charge of the days AND the nights. Very creepy.

You're not alone, Cinderella Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 03:20 PM EST

I totally love the Growing Pains theme song too! Show me that smile again...

Cinderella Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 03:12 PM EST

Yeah, pretty much any show that appeared on ABC's TGIF lineup makes this list for me: Family Matters, Step by Step, Full House, etc, etc. You know what theme I loved, though, and I am rather embarassed by it: Growing Pains. What was I thinking? The best for me would be Wonder Years - I just love Joe Cocker's version of that song.

Katy Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 02:04 PM EST

Whaaaa?! "The Unknown Stuntman" is awesome, and so is Lee Majors.

On the other hand, I second--"Three and a Half Men" theme nearly makes the whole show unwatchable.

Joanster Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 01:30 PM EST

So bad it's good! Black Adder! When Rowan Atkinson was still funny.

http://www.televisiontunes.com/Black_Adder_-_1983_-_Closing.html

The sound of hoofbeats cross the glade,
Good folk, lock up your son and daughter,
Beware the deadly flashing blade,
Unless, you want to end up shorter,

Black Adder!
Black Adder!
He rides a pitch-black steed,
Black Adder!
Black Adder!
He's very bad indeed,

Black, his gloves of finest mole,
Black, his codpiece made of metal,
His horse is blacker than his vole,
His pot is blacker than his kettle,

Black Adder!
Black Adder!
With many a cunning plan,
Black Adder!
Black Adder!
You horrid little man!

Stephanie T. Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 01:13 PM EST

The Degrassi JHS and High School (both of which were the SAME SONG)theme was very cheesy.

Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 01:08 PM EST

Snarf, I could have sworn that the character was Dino Girl?

Anna Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 12:37 PM EST

That 70s Show. The only thing more painful than the show itself is the theme song. "Hangin out/down the street/the same old thing/we did last week." Who wrote this? Paris Hilton? Tatum O'Neal?

Dru Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 12:33 PM EST

I am really sick of the "Weeds" theme, and "The L Word" theme is trite and painful.

My favorite theme songs ... Cosby, Seinfeld, Buffy, Angel, Will & Grace, the original Crossing Jordan theme, etc., never have words. Maybe they are on to something.

a Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 11:38 AM EST

ok, if we're going to talk about themes we LIKE... completely agree with you about House and Six Feet Under... personally I LOVE the Drew Carey Show theme (Cleveland Rocks!)

Dixie Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 10:40 AM EST

The worst of all time has to be Full House. Even when I was little and loved the show I found the lyrics cringe-worthy. Never liked Paula Cole's theme for Dawson's Crack either (and no, that's not a typo; that's what we called it in high school). It was overwrought and angsty, just like the show.
I do like all the CSI themes (can't go wrong with the Who), the Massive Attack song that serves as the theme for House, and the catchy little instrumental themes of Dexter and Six Feet Under (what is it with Michael C. Hall and catchy theme music?) And I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I've been known to belt out the theme for "That '70s Show" in the shower. Even if it's totally cheesy, at least the cheese is intentional. To me that makes all the difference.

bbg1129 Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 10:38 AM EST

Is it sad that I have commited most of those theme songs to memory? I actually (unintentionally) sang/rapped the entire Fresh Prince theme on an airplane once when they showed it. yikes.
As a child of the 90's I have to agree with the "Friends" theme. So loooooooong.. so annoying! I love it on syndication, when they just shorten it to the end bit.
Love how lost doesn't have a theme song. my cell phone actually plays that noise when i get a text message.

Warren Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 10:00 AM EST

Beyond the rim of starlight
My love, wanders in starflight
I know he'll find in star-clustered reaches
Love, strange love a star-woman teaches
I know his journey ends never
His Star Trek will go on forever
But tell him while he wanders the starry sea
Remember...remember me.

Worst. Theme. Ever

orville Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 09:24 AM EST

I'll agree with the themes to "Enterprise," "Star Trek," "Charles in Charge," and "Patty Duke." But I can't believe that no one has mentioned "MASH." It's an ok song, but "Suicide is Painless?" No wonder they rarely ever played the actual lyrics!

Molly Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 09:19 AM EST

Was just checking back - Stephanie T., you could be right - I checked the words to Charles in Charge on a lyrics website and they didn't make sense to me, I always thought they were "...and I think I want Charles in charge of me.." so who knows. Nevertheless, I assume the song was intended to give the impression that his young charges were singing about him, and those girls were already pre-teens at the beginning of the show - so it was a bit creepy in later seasons to me.

And thanks to everyone on this posting list, these songs will now be stuck in our heads for the rest of the week, ha ha!

Jen Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 09:17 AM EST

Oooh there are some cheesy lyrics from 90s sitcoms. Let's see...
-Full House: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhPLGBleVm4
-Perfect Strangers is kind of awesome in its cheesiness: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vbnLYROCj8&feature=related
-Sister Sister for the squealy singing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAFh-nPQgow&feature=related
-anyone else remember when Clueless was made into a TV show and Cher's character was completely changed? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FIbPJx7HJ4

jenny Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 09:04 AM EST

okay my worst is America's Next Top Model. Originally, it was a good song, but as the show grew, Tyra decided SHE needed to sing it herself! Now it just sucks. My favorite? I hate to say it, but i still love Gidget. So campy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uj3CWACel4c

a Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 08:59 AM EST

I know i'm probably in the minority but I have always HATED the Mary Tyler Moore show theme. Geez... cheeze!

Ed Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 08:49 AM EST

There is no lyric that Iknow of, but the Beverly Hills, 90210 theme is one of the best. If the purpose of a theme is to get your attention, the show is on, then none are better than that guitar riff with the handclaps thaqt sets up 90210.

Ep Sato Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 08:44 AM EST

Speaking of Star Trek, I found the theme song to Enterprise to be one of the most annoying theme songs ever.

After four series with lyrics-free themesongs, Trek decided to do an acoustic guitar theme with lyrics by some guy who'd clearly never seen an episode of star trek in his life. No wonder the show only lasted four seasons.

OmarS Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 08:34 AM EST

I know it's an actual song, but Paula Cole's "I don't wanna wait" from Dawson's Creek only seems to add to the pretentious, over the top nature of that sad sad "teenage" angst soap opera. I don't even feel the need to inculde a YouTube clip because everyone here knows EXACTLY what I'm talking about.

Meanwhile, CSI (the Original/Las Vegas) had one of the coolest. I mean really, "Who are you?"!

Emily Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 08:28 AM EST

I have always found the lyrics to "Family Ties" a little cringeworthy. Waaayyy too schmaltzy for my taste.

Snarf Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 08:03 AM EST

Land of the Lost
Doctor Shrinker
Electro Woman and Dinah Girl
(All live action early 70's Sat morning cheese)

JillS Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 07:57 AM EST

I would have to nominate PINKS' new theme song. A gravely voice just saying "Move onnn....Move onnnn." Move on to what? Another show??!

elly Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 07:56 AM EST

smallville is primed to be the worst tv theme of the century.

i'm shocked to be the first to bring up lynda carter's wonder woman! "in your satin tights/fighting for your rights/ and the old red, white and blue....make a hawk a dove/ stop a war with love/ make a liar tell the truth/ wonder woman, get us out from under / all our hopes are pinned on you / and that magic that you do / stop a bullet cold / make the axis fall / change their minds and change the world.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-0S-UyrPHw&feature=related

amah Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 07:48 AM EST

Some of the best: Weeds and The Baby-Sitter's Club. That is all.

amah Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 07:48 AM EST

Some of the best: Weeds and The Baby-Sitter's Club. That is all.

Nix Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 07:38 AM EST

"Masquerade". The Crystal Gayle song to the the spy show with tourists guided by spies to do secret missions? Had Kirstie Alley in it? I actually love it, it's stuck in my head for almost twenty years. Masquerade/ Life is a masquerade/ An everyday charade/ That anyone can play ...

Grace Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 07:37 AM EST

Oh my God . . . "Friends!" The early-1990s cheese! The hokey message! Those four incursive claps! "I'll be there for you"? No, I can handle this one on my own, thanks.

theskyispurple Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 07:31 AM EST

How about 'the L word' theme song? the first season's theme was perfect, all music, no words, just the 'L' words on the screen. since then, those of us who watch it have had to listen (or skip) that atrocious theme song. it's just, meh, hideous when it wants (and tries!) to be artistic and out of the box. talk about anti-climactic

here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcE5k6YUYFI&feature=related

the worst part is, the whole song's highly contagious, and even if you've only tolerated it for a few times, you'll remember the lyrics! sigh.

Mr.Reynolds Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 04:53 AM EST

I absolutely hate it when the star of a show has the nerve to sing the theme song. Case in point: "The Unknown Stuntman" by Lee Majors of "The Fall Guy."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZBurFpWjkI

Jakeem2007 Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 04:32 AM EST

Gary, you're wrong about "That Girl" because the opening theme didn't have lyrics until its fifth and final season. But you are correct in your assertion that the instrumental versions were better!

Sina Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 02:24 AM EST

I really hate to do this but the theme song for Veronica Mars season 3. I hate when they changed it to the slow tempo crap. I think changing the theme song changed the mood for season 3. Oh and the theme for Different World when they had Boyz II Men sing it. Why couldn't they stick with the great Aretha?

Nanci Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 12:53 AM EST

How is it possible that no one has mentioned the Love Boat yet?!?

KG Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 12:15 AM EST

Family Ties
mostly because of the "shalalala" at the end
up to now i still don't know what that has to do w/ the song or the show

Bill Walko Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 11:20 PM EST

I never minded the FRAISER theme, since I always viewed it as Kelsey Grammer doing a tossed off lounge act.
I always HATED the theme to QUANTUM LEAP, which was so generic, but seemed to be something suited for a light hopital drama or something -- not a time-jumping sci-fi show!
FULL HOUSE is also horrible. As is SAVED BY THE BELL. Some of the best? GILLIGAN'S ISLAND, MAUDE, MARY TYLER MOORE, TWILIGHT ZONE, MISSION IMPOSSIBLE....

Val Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 09:39 PM EST

To Ceballos: I think the lyric in the family matters theme is inside these gentle walls.

Rae Rae Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 09:08 PM EST

So, there was a show on old school Nickelodeon, The Adventures of Pete and Pete. The actually theme song isn't bad, but when listening to the lyrics I find them a tad inappropriate for a Nick show.

"Hey smilin' strange, you're lookin' happily deranged
Can you settle to shoot me
And have you picked your target yet,
Hey Sandy ai yi yi yi . . .
Don't you talk back,
Hey Sandy
Four feet away, end of speech it's the end of the day
We was only funnin', but guiltily I thought you had it comin,
Hey Sandy,
Don't ya talk back, hey Sandy"
http://youtube.com/watch?v=5hY2ozBsZro

Liz Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 08:44 PM EST

Two Catchy verses, surfer graphics, and frosted bangs... Saved By the Bell has to be the most awesomely bad theme song ever... and, yes, I'm 27 and I still know every word.

Also, As it turns out, the theme song to "Full House,""Family Matters,""Step By Step," and "Perfect Strangers" were all composed by the same people... how did this not occur to us when we were 10?

jeff Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 08:38 PM EST

The song to "Frasier" is actually relevant if you put it into perspective. Tossed salads and scrambled eggs refer to persons with emotional / psycological problems and since he was a psychiatrist ...

Kevin Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 08:03 PM EST

Definitely Full House!!! (linked below). "Whatever happened to the predictability....the milkman, the paperboy, evening TV"?! Kill me.

On a completely random note, does anybody recognize the actor in this TV spot? Has he been in anything famous? He looks very familiar.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-Hav8U7yaQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1itAlR3umPI

Wildrose Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 07:48 PM EST

Star Trek "Enterprise" waaaay too long and doesn't fit the genre

tambot Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 07:37 PM EST

Reading Rainbow.
"Butterfly in the sky, I can fly twice as high"
Way to teach our kids to reach for the 15 feet above the ground.

x302 Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 07:23 PM EST

How about THE BRADY BUNCH!!!!!!

Jk Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 07:22 PM EST

The themes from 7th Heaven, Eight Is Enough, History Detectives, and The Big Bang Theory are all horrible, but soap opera themes take the cake. Passions and the new Guiding Light theme are really awful, especially when you have to overhear them because someone else in the house watches them.

Dana Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 07:04 PM EST

I think I disliked the theme song for "Three's Company" when it was on, that it made me not want to watch the show! Where was Tivo back then so I could skip over "Come and knock on our door; we've been waiting for you. Where the kisses are hers and hers and his, three's company too."

Ugh. . . . makes me cringe just recalling it all.

brent Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 06:19 PM EST

http://youtube.com/watch?v=kuKZNmY3YDU

Golden Girls...for some reason I hate the word "confidant" and to hear it in a song for a show about old women...blech.

Luis PJ Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 06:11 PM EST

cartoon theme songs tend to make me blush

Dave Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 06:11 PM EST

I always liked Gary Shandling's theme song.
"This is the theme to Garry's Show,
The theme to Garry's show.
Garry called me up and asked if I would right his theme song.
I'm almost halfway finished,
How do you like it so far,
How do you like the theme to Garry's Show?"
However, I did not like the show itself very much.

Alex9 Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 05:43 PM EST

Okay people let's not lose our heads. The themes to Perfect Strangers and Mr. Belvedere are the best songs for shows ever, especially if the latter is sung by Stewie Griffin. Scrambled eggs all over your faces.

Dana Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 05:37 PM EST

I also love The Sopranos and always liked The Patty Duke theme. Hate Frasier, the worst ever.

miguel Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 05:30 PM EST

According to Wikipedia:

The closing theme, "WKRP In Cincinnati End Credits", was a hard rock number composed and performed by Jim Ellis, an Atlanta musician who recorded some of the incidental music for the show. According to people who attended the recording sessions, Ellis didn't yet have lyrics for the closing theme, so he sang nonsense words to give an idea of how it would sound. Wilson decided it would be funny to use lyrics that were deliberately gibberish, as a satire on the incomprehensibility of many rock songs.[7] Also, since CBS always had an announcer talking over the closing credits, Wilson knew that no one would actually hear the closing theme lyrics anyway. In one pop-cultural nod to the closing theme, a character performs the song in the film Ready to Rumble. The closing theme is also played at the end of the syndicated morning radio show The Big Show with John Boy and Billy.

Melinda65 Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 05:13 PM EST

wh, we used to sing the word "bewitched" to the "Bewitched" theme song, too. We didn't know that it actually had lyrics--as does the theme song from The Dick Van Dyke Show--and didn't have the Internet to find them, either. LOL
As for bad lyrics, I think that "Flipper" qualifies.
Everyone loves the king of the sea,
Ever so kind and gentle is he.
Tricks he will do when children appear,
And how they laugh when he's near.
They call him Flipper, Flipper, faster than lightning,
No one you see, is smarter than he.
And we know Flipper, lives in a world full of wonder,
Flying there under, under the sea.
Ugh. And yet, I find myself singing along.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sH48uuofr60

Rob Grizzly Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 05:02 PM EST

I agree with Silv. Dawson's Creek and Smallville both make me want to die. Somebody SAAAAAAVVVVVEEE MEEEEEEEE! from that awful opening theme. I think we should just stop watching CW shows.
(Oh, and I know it's a cartoon, but the new, Spectacular Spiderman theme is wretched)

wh Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 04:50 PM EST

I could not abide the "All in the Family" song. Disliked the way it was sung and the words "Have yourself a dandy day that cost you under a fin???" were just another ick example. Oh, and Petticoat Junction--actual adults watched that show in prime time? But we loved the Patty Duke reruns. Loved the song-couldn't tell you most of the words, but the tune and the gist of it was cool. Also we sang the word Bewitched over and over to the Bewitched theme song. It works and amused us to no end. We didn't have iPods or home video games then.

El Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 04:42 PM EST

Alex,

I didn't even notice that, and now that you pointed it up I keep cracking up about it.

Julie Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 04:41 PM EST

Gilmore Girls...it's a fine show, but the theme song is a little too touchy feely for me

Stephanie T. Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 04:34 PM EST

Molly, are you sure that it was not "and I say that I want Charles in Charge of me"?

I vote for the original lyrics to The Facts of Life only because somehow the lyrical pattern did not seem to fit:
"There's a place you've got to go for learning all you want to know about the facts of life
the facts of life.

When books are what you're there about and looks are what you care about the time is right,
to learn the facts of life.

When the world never seems
to be living up to your dreams
it's time you started finding out
what everything is all about

When the boys you used to hate you date, I guess you best investigate
the facts of life you gotta get'em right!"

Nat X Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 04:29 PM EST

I like to make a grating squealing sound during the Lost intro. Even more fun is singing along to the Alien Nation theme song. Skip to about a minute into it.
http://www.televisiontunes.com/Alien_Nation.html

Eric Friedmann Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 04:23 PM EST

I suppose the original lyrics to the opening theme for M.A.S.H. (the film) might night have gone over very well on network television in the '70s:

"'Cause suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please"

Eric Friedmann Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 04:20 PM EST

GOOD TIMES:

"Temporary lay-offs, good times.
Easy credit rip-off, good times.
Scratching and surviving, good times"

What the f*ck is so good about all that???

StaleCake Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 04:09 PM EST

Another bad Star Trek is Enterprise
"It's Been a Long Road
Gettin' from there to here
It's been a long time
But my time is finally here
I can see my dream come alive at last
I can touch the sky
But they're not gonna hold me down - no, no
No they're not gonna change my mind"...
Did Diane Warren actually write this, or use the AmericanIdol-tron 3000 (TM) to generate these cliches? Stop her before she strikes again!

QueenC Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 04:03 PM EST

I agree with El... that Men song is awful, as is the show.

I nominate the song from Mr. Belvedere, mostly because I can't make out what the heck the guy is warbling: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XdJgSkHogw

Molly Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 04:03 PM EST

I know we're discussing "worst" but I think one of the best - definitely one of the coolest - is the Sopranos' "Woke Up This Morning".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ut_Xmm2VZA&NR=1

Zaphod Beeblebrox Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 04:00 PM EST

The Star Trek opening monologue contains one of my biggest pet peeves, so I'm glad you brought it up. It says "To boldly go where no man has gone before" but it should be "To go boldly where no man has gone before." You never split your infinitives, dammit!

Alex Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 03:57 PM EST

El, I just like that Two and a Half Men is called "My Cooler Uncle Charlie" in Germany. I always laugh at the names foreign countries come up with for American shows/films that don't quite translate into their languages.

Molly Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 03:50 PM EST

I always wondered a bit about the lyrics to Charles in Charge. I mean, what exactly did the girl mean? "Charles in charge of our days and our nights, Charles in charge of our wrongs and our rights, and I sing, I want, I want Charles in charge of me."

J from VA Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 03:50 PM EST

Couldn't disagree with you more Gary. The Frasier theme song is perfect percisely b/c it's so awful. Which is probably why they never played it in the opening credits. Besides, what kind of song could they have created for a show about an effete, radio shrink snob. The show begs for a nonsensical theme. Good night Seattle, we love you!

El Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 03:48 PM EST

I don't watch this show, but every time I accidentally catch it, the theme drives me CRAZY -- "Two and a half men" All they do is repeat the word "men" over and over and over?! That's not a song!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLkZTJczirU

Ceballos Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 03:48 PM EST

On the flip side, the got-canceled-WAY-too-soon "Knights of Prosperity" on ABC had one of my favorite recent theme songs ("Stealing from the rich to give to themselves!". The whole sequence was just cool.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bop3Ki6y55Q

(Ok, I'm done for now)

Tim Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 03:46 PM EST

Uh...The Nanny? It honestly must take the cake!

kelli Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 03:46 PM EST

i am a sucker for theme songs, i pretty much love 'em all. but if i had to choose bad ones--, i might consider the following:

Baretta
Car 54
Grizzly Adams

Ceballos Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 03:45 PM EST

Also, I agree that the "Frasier" theme song didn't have anything to do with anything and probably was only there because Kelsey Grammer wanted to sing. Of course, that means I kinda enjoy the badness of it.

Silv Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 03:44 PM EST

I nominate the "Smallville" theme song - I can't take that "Somebody SAAAAAVVVVEEEE MEEEE!" anymore. I also had to mute the "Dawson's Creek" credits too back in the day - and I still can't bear to hear that song if it comes on the radio. Also does anyone remember the late 80s/early 90s' ABC Friday night line-up? "Full House," "Family Matters," "Step by Step," "Perfect Strangers" - each one was progressively worse than the one before, and it seemed they were sung by the same guy. As corny as could be!

Ceballos Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 03:43 PM EST

I used to LOVE singing along with it (who am I kidding, I still do), but once I actually stopped and listened to the words I was singing, I realized the lyrics in "The Family Matters" theme song are a red hot mess.

A sampling:
"Well then there must be some magic clue/inside these tearful walls/'Cause all I see, is a tower of dreams/Real love bursting out of every seam!"

(What the hell?!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLMYIlLGBjs