Forget 'What Happens in Vegas'; let's write our own rom-com pitch here at PopWatch!

Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 06:29 PM EST

No, of course there is a sequel starring best friend Jennifer picking up the pieces of her life after her European boy toy dumps her, regaining life and love in the French countryside where she unexpectedly runs into Matt, who seems the same, but is secretly recovering from the death of his pregnant-with-his-baby secretary....join them for heart warming travels and misunderstandings as the two find both love and adventure in the countryside....also starring Brenda, Chase, and their new baby....

Pamela Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 10:01 PM EST

Picking up with 'anonymous's' posting at 4.16pm...

Brenda arrives at the airport just in time to get through security (no passport, no luggage, no ticket? No problem) rush to the gate and stop Bike Messenger guy (um, what was his name again?) from getting on his (warning: product placements) American Airlines plane carrying his dark blue Sony Vaio laptop and his Freiheit messenger bag. Cue up closing credits...Featuring Nine Dave's suggestion of "Don't You Want Me" on the soundtrack the camera pulls back and there's Bike Messenger, Brenda, the rest of their clan in Rome dancing around the Trevi Fountain in their wedding clothes...ah bless. The End, or is it?

Staci Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 10:00 PM EST

Slezak,

Off topic, how come you don't write a recap for The Bachelor. You would be perfect for this blog with your sharp tongue and quick wit. There is plenty to write about.

Sarah C Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 09:18 PM EST

We forgot the dating montage with scenes at Pike Place, the Needle, and sharing an ice cream on a ferry.

NineDaves Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 04:52 PM EST

i can't wait until the whole cast dances at a wedding, lip-singing to some amazing 80s song over the credits! my money is on "don't you want me baby"

Apple Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 04:17 PM EST

This is beginning to sound like the rebound vehicle for Lindsey Lohan as Brenda.

Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 04:16 PM EST

Which only occurs after she has kissed Matt, realized there was no chemistry between them, realized that she loved Chase (cue love song sung by pop tart of the moment), and dashed off to the airport...

Molly Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 04:15 PM EST

I love the plot thus far--it's much more unpredictable than "What Happens in Vegas."

On a separately related note, am I the only one who--every time words pop up in that trailer--is reminded of "Think Outside the Bun"? Seriously, same marketers as Taco Bell?

Lauren Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 03:20 PM EST

But bike messenger guy is leaving to pursue some...um....unspecified math job in Italy. You know what this means--a wacky run through the airport for Brenda!

bbc Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 02:16 PM EST

This is beginning to sound more like a daytime soap than a rom com.

Greg Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 01:44 PM EST

As Matt talks with Brenda about her case, his secretary comes in. To Brenda's surprise (and Jennifer's when she finds out), the secretary is pregnant. And guess what?! Its Matthew's.

LK Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 01:40 PM EST

id rather pay $11 to see Amy Poehler urinating into a sink..soo thats why i'll be passing up "what happens in vegas" and seeing "baby mama"

Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 01:39 PM EST

Brenda, forced to choose between hapless, ex-MIT down-to-earth bike messenger and hard-partying, wealthy lawyer Matt, calls upon her parents (Dianne Weist and Christopher Walken), who live on Long Island, for guidance who reveal that she and Matt are not related and remind her to follow her heart, while best friend Jennifer has comically fallen asleep on the train and ended up in the Hamptons where she disappears for the remainder of the movie, coming back only in the final moments with a new, crazy-accented European boyfriend played by Hank Azaria.....

Lauren Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 12:47 PM EST

If we're going by rom-com tradition, Renee Zellweger, Kate Hudson or Sandra Bullock for Brenda. If she's slumming it, Naomi Watts.

Ken Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 12:23 PM EST

Jennifer, of course, will be played by Jennifer Garner. Who will play Brenda?

Martha Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 11:54 AM EST

James Brolin's secret is that he faked the paperwork making Jennifer, Brenda and Matt related as part of an ongoing feud with Matt's (sadly deceased) father. Now that it's discovered that the girls don't share DNA with Matt, whom will he pick? Whom, I say?

Nancy Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 11:35 AM EST

Meanwhile, Brenda's lawyer's partner (played by James Brolin), has a secret of his own, and is motivated to sabotage Brenda's case in order to kill the potential romance between Brenda and/or Jennifer!

jenna von oy Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 11:12 AM EST

But wait! Brenda and Matthew don't have to be related by blood...only by marriage...so of course, when Jennifer and Matthew's relationship comically flames out (moments before consummation!) it re-opens the chance for Brenda to see this hapless bike messenger in a new light. But does she?

LisaMama Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 10:48 AM EST

I don't know, guys, most rom-coms don't include potential incest. The half-sibling storyline seems out of place.

Ahmed Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 10:38 AM EST

A few people posted while I was writing. sorry.

Ahmed Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 10:34 AM EST

The Bike Messenger (Chase) hurries to tell Brenda (who is now related to Matthew since her and Jennifer are cousins)the secret but becomes a victim of Brenda's clumsy one-footed biking and loses consciousness.

Martha Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 10:26 AM EST

(sorry, Jennifer and Matt! Oops!)

Martha Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 10:26 AM EST

And out of guilt for running Brenda over with his bike, MIT guy decides to get DNA samples from both Brenda and Matt M. to see if they really ARE half-siblings...and lots of salty misunderstandings about cheek swabbing and bathroom samples ensue...

Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 10:24 AM EST

And admits to Jennifer that he has secretly been attracted to her all along and only been kind to Brenda to get Jennifer's attention--which cues a flashback to the Chase-Brenda romantic montage in which Jennifer is revealed to be on the sides of every shot....

Snarf Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 10:04 AM EST

But the Bike Messenger who happens to be an ex MIT student discovers the half sibling secret...(my god this storyline is practically writting itself)

Dan Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 09:54 AM EST

But they decide to keep the sibling thing a secret, for now...

Ibis1996 Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 09:48 AM EST

But Jennifer and Matthew cannot be together because, unbeknownst to her, Jennifer's mother had a fling with Matthew's father, and they're actually half-siblings.

diana Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 09:47 AM EST

Lawyer Matthew listens attentively (we know this by his easily identifiable squinty-eyed coy smile, pen in mouth) to Brenda, telling her he'll look into it further after he returns from a lunch hour wedding cake taste-off with his fiance, who arrives outside his building, coincidentally, on her bike....

Ar Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 09:40 AM EST

They are both impressed with his handsomeness but Brenda finds him obnoxious, while Jennifer is smitten.

Ar Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 09:38 AM EST

Brenda and her crazy cousin Jennifer go together to meet Matthew McConaughy at the law firm...

Karen Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 09:36 AM EST

Brenda spends time with Chase learning about the joys and trial of being a bike messenger. In a sweet montage we see them falling for each other while a pop song plays in the background. But wait! There is still Brenda's spark with her hunky, and emotionaly underdeveloped lawyer.

Heather Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 09:35 AM EST

but unbeknownst to her, the bike messenger, who out of guilt attends to her while she recuperates, stands to inherit a large fortune if he can find a suitable wife by the end of the month.

Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 09:26 AM EST

Her lawyer, played by Matthew McConaughy, is an upcoming, boys boy rising fast through the law firm who only takes the case because she is the daughter of one of the partners and could not care less about her plight...

Dtom Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 09:25 AM EST

Before people start posting complaints about the error in logic that she couldn't be a bike messenger with a broken ankle, I'd like to say that ridiculous errors in logic are the cornerstone of the modern rom-com.

Dtom Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 09:21 AM EST

The bike messenger has no money or insurance, so the judge orders Brenda and the bike messenger (whose name is Chase McHuntersonville) to switch jobs for one month...

Valerie Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 09:19 AM EST

Upon the advice of her crazy cousin, she sues the bike messenger as well as the company where he works...