What's your literary deal breaker?

Dan in STL Wed, Apr 2, 2008 at 12:57 PM EST

I have little use for someone who would judge me based on what I do (or don't) read. Like a lot of people, my interests vary from Stephen King to Shakespeare. I read for fun and escape, pure and simple. More power to it if a book educates and informs me, but my first goal is to be entertained. As much as I love reading, though, I would never limit my social interactions to people who had identical interests to my own. Life would get pretty boring pretty quickly that way. I don't like snobs from any walk of life- if you can't appreciate a Big Mac or a pepperoni pizza, then your opinion about a five star restaurant is not really going to matter to me. I'll be open to your ideas and interests as long as you are open to mine.

vw Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 04:33 PM EST

As a booklover all my life & a bookseller for the last 10 yrs I do not have a problem with anyone as long as they read SOMETHING! As a reader who reads across a very broad spectrum I don't expect to meet someone who likes everything I do but if they do great! It's much more important to have a person who wants to expand their mind to thoughts and ideas thru reading than someone who doesn't want or care to.We as booklovers shouldn't be snobs about anything as long as people are reading. My reaction to someone who likes the DaVinci Code or The Secret would be to try to introduce them to something else but along those lines.One of my major issues is parents who come in and complain about their child not liking to read like it's totally a lost cause. I've yet met the child who I couldn't turn on to a book or series. You find a subject that interests them & there's a book for it. I've met the most interesting people who didn't read what I like. Don't miss out by being a snob!

MrKitty Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 04:31 PM EST

I knew I had married into the best family, when on a vacation on a pond in Maine, everyone hauled out a book to read on the porch/docks/canoes.....

just another thought... Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 04:08 PM EST

i think the real common thread in the comments is a shared intellectual curiosity. i am a book, magazine and newspaper person, and my bf is the same. actually, we got each other the new yorker (for me) and the economist (for him) for christmas. our favorite books are not identifical, and we each share in extremely high brow and low brow tastes. however, i was in the company of someone who professed to not read newspapers because they are full of junk. that would be someone i could not tolerate the company of...

To Anna Chronica and Martha Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 02:41 PM EST

Anna Chronica- I completely agree with you. I'm certainly not against people reading Dan Brown and finding it pleasurable. It's more that I am aghast when people talk about Dan Brown as if he's Shakespeare.

Martha- With me it's more that I doubt that I'd have that much in common with a non-reader in the first place. Books are a huge part of my life. I talk a lot about them. A non-reader would find me boring and I'd find the lack of book conversation boring.

Anna Chronica Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 02:24 PM EST

Interesting that so many people look down on The DaVinci Code. Not that I think it's a challenging read by any means - for that type of novel but in a "grown-up" version, you can read The Name of The Rose by Umberto Eco. But DaVinci Code is a nice light read. Light being the key. I'd need to read Name of the Rose when I was wide awake and willing to spend time jumping online for translations of the extensive passages in French, Italian, etc. and sections debating the policies of the Catholic Church in the 1400s, but DaVinci is good for just before going to sleep, when I don't want to tax my brain. Also an excellent time to break out the Doonesbury anthologies.

Of course, I'd probably wonder about someone who found The DaVinci Code to be an intellectual challenge. :)

Martha Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 02:20 PM EST

Maybe I'm a buzzkill here, but why does someone have to love books and reading in order to be a good date/partner/mate? I mean, don't get me wrong, I love reading and always have, but just because others don't doesn't make them horrible people. There are times when I feel like I use books as an escape from dealing with everyday life, and I admire those who don't necessarily need that.

Katy Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 02:14 PM EST

What's most important is that people are reading at all. Having said that, I confess to being wholly alarmed anytime someone tells me THE DA VINCI CODE is his favorite book. Eew and eew.

Carrie Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 01:21 PM EST

I'm not turned off by what someone reads but I am turned off by someone who doesn't read at all.

GingerCat Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 12:45 PM EST

I'm a major book person, but I'd date a non-reader as long as he had other interests he could pursue while I was reading.
As for what books are dealbreakers, only someone who reads Ann Coulter/Rush Limbaugh and the like and actually BELIEVES it would get the boot.

Henry Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 12:42 PM EST

My girlfriend picked up Kavalier and Clay(despite the 700+ pages) because it's my favorite book. That was a deal-MAKER.
Also, being in college, I hate it when browsing profiles on Facebook and someone lists under "favorite book" What's a book? or I don't read! Those would be deal-breakers.

Nancy Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 12:37 PM EST

I went on a date in high school with an older boy, and after the date he told one of my friends that my idea of a fun date is a good book and a warm bath. I must have talked about a book I was reading, and I didn't put out, which must have been the opposite of what he was wanting at the time! All I can remember thinking is "what's wrong with a warm bath and a good book?" Ha! For me, a love of reading in a mate is a plus, but not a requirement. But don't make fun of my love of reading or the books I read.

StaleCake Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 12:15 PM EST

I would LOVE to see an EW article about why men think it is OK not to read? Or does society teach males that reading is femmy? Almost all the non-readers here are husbands. This is NOT OK. Girls are outpacing boys in every subject, and every country is outpacing the US in increasing literacy. Husbands, men -- get up off your fat... brains.... and pick up a damn BOOK! Your sons will THANK YOU LATER, and you may actually enjoy the experience!!!!

Heather Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 11:05 AM EST

I think it's important that there be common interests between you and your SO. That being said, my guy doesn't have to read books (although I would love it if he did-doesn't even have to be what I read.) But he has to appreciate that books are an important part of my life. I'm certainly far from picky in my reading tastes (in a week I can go from a YA novel, to J.D. Robb, to the latest historical non-fiction), but I would like to think that my reading choices reflect my wide interests, rather than a lack of intellect or lowbrow tastes.

Stacey Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 10:55 AM EST

The only real deal-breaker for me is if the guy doesn't read books at all. It worries me if he doesn't have the patience or inclination to sit down and concentrate on something like reading for more than a few minutes.

That being said, I won't back away from someone just because his idea of literary brilliance is "The Da Vinci Code" or because he has no idea who Ian McEwan or Isabel Allende are, but if he points and laughs at me for loving Harry Potter. . . it's over!

megan Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 10:40 AM EST

My husband doesn't read much of anything but a John Grisham book here and there, while I keep a lengthy spreadsheet of all the books I've read and plan to read, and we get along just fine. He watches sports, I read. Life is too short to judge what makes someone else happy. He is brilliant in many ways that I am not, and vice versa (I am an artist, he an engineer), so I like to think of it as dovetailing personalities, not conflicting. I read enough for the both of us anyway. That said, I agree with Sarah, anyone who thinks any book is evil is patently ridiculous. Also, The Secret: yuck.

Celimene Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 10:40 AM EST

This entry prompted me to ask my husband what HIS literary dealbreakers were. He has a deep-seated loathing of Dean Koontz and the Harry Potter books. On the other side of the coin, noticing everything from "The Tao of Pooh" to Camus, with some Tolkien and Adams thrown in definitely gave me an indication that he was a guy I could talk to and had varied interests. That and the fact that our DVD collections were nearly identical.

Dan Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 09:40 AM EST

This is one of the stupidest, most limited arguments I've ever heard. The great thing about books, is that, Oh My Goodness, they're all different, and we, as human beings, have a choice to put one down or pick one up as we see fit. Just because you're reading Stephen King one day, doesn't mean you're not going to pick up Doris Lessing, or E.L. Docotorow the next. AND just because you're reading a book on the subway, it doesn't mean you're enjoying it. You may secretly be forming critiques and little annoyances toward the author that you're not shouting to the general public. It's no one else's business. If all you people want to go around judging everyone else for what they're reading, go ahead. Your potential loss. And most likely, you're the jerk in the relationship anyway...

Miranda Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 09:32 AM EST

Given my vast reading tastes (I read everything from YA fiction to Shakespeare) I can't really fault anyone with what they read. That said I will get testy if someone were to call Jane Austen chick lit or meanly mock my reading of Katie Macalister books. Of course the one exception to my not judging is someone who thinks that any Dan Brown book approaches literature. I mean the plot was pretty interesting but the writing is just atrocious.

Kevin T. Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 09:32 AM EST

The minute I hear someone say "The Davinci Code" is their all-time favorite book, my eyes roll back and I let out a deep sigh. Hopeless.

Seth Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 09:19 AM EST

The minute she tells me she doesn't read at all. The Date is OVER!!

Emma Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 09:06 AM EST

I have to agree with most of the posters: if he reads, that's a start. My husband reads lots of spy thrillers (we have like 3 copies of every James Bond book) and zombie novels (The Rising, World War Z). I read most everything I can get my hands on (I'm really into Stephen King, Jasper Fforde, and bios of Hitchcock). We usually leave each other alone when it comes to our literary choices. I might have a problem if he was making fun of Stephen King or something, but since my last boyfriend was a dolt who didn't read at all, I have to stop and count my blessings. As for all the Oprah book club hate, I don't get it. Sure, she picks some books I would never read, like The Secret, but I can't fault a woman who has turned so many people onto Anna Karenina, The Road, East of Eden and the like. I don't like everything she picks, but I don't know a single person who shares my literary tastes exactly, so more power to her for getting people to pick up a book.

MrKitty Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 08:42 AM EST

Re: Oprah - a lot can be forgiven if only for the fact that she introduced a million readers to Love in the Time of Cholera - and maybe those readers took a look at A Hundred Years of Solitude....and you cannot sneeze at Toni Morrison's books either...that said - you are so right about The Secret....WHAT WAS SHE THINKING ???!!!

Penelope Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 08:35 AM EST

I don't understand the disdain for books on Oprah's Book Club List. We have all read books based on a reviewer's opinion or a friend's suggestion. It doesn't discredit the book just because Oprah likes it. "White Oleander" is one of my all time favorites and apparently was on her book list at one time. That said, "The Secret" should be stopped. At all costs.

MrKitty Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 08:04 AM EST

To AR - I personally don't think you can fault anyone for just reading something - how will they know trash from treasure? Someone's lowbrow is another person's highbrow. I love science/natural history, I love S, King, sometimes. I love Cormac McCarthy. I love Jhumpa Lahiri and Jane Austen and yes, Pearl Buck. I say eclectic taste is a good thing - not reading at all is dangerous...how can you take in ideas - good and bad - if you do not read? Not reading at all would be a deal breaker - just as not liking Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill I & II are for me.

ALLY Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 07:41 AM EST

You totally ganked this idea from jezebel.com!

Andrea Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 06:58 AM EST

My boyfriend and I have totally different tastes but it never really bothered me. He likes anything military (especially WW2 history) as well as graphic novels and zombie books, like World War Z. As for myself, I don't really stick to one genre, I've read everything from fantasy (like George RR Martin, who I love) to classics like War and Peace to historical novels, etc. I think as long as a couple can respect the other person's tastes then they'll be fine.

That said, though, I cringe whenever I see people happily toting around an Oprah book. I mean, no-one considered reading Pillars of the Earth or Love in the Time of Cholera BEFORE the almighty O recommended them?

Terri Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 06:01 AM EST

My husband of ten years just took an audiobook version of Pride and Prejudice with him on deployment in an attempt to bond over literature. This is a man who reads westerns, sci-fi and military action novels. He can't keep up very well and finds it is a great way to get to sleep but I don't mind. If your signifigant other at least tries reading something because you rave about it that seems enough for me.

If nothing else I just made hitting the rack easier for him and insomnia a thing of the past! Plus he can play the "I listened to Jane Austen for you!" card if I am whining about his unwillingness to to try anything outside his comfort zone.

Heleno Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 05:27 AM EST

I read pretty much any and everything, but I think the one dealbreaker for me would be one of those people who professes to "love" the Da Vinci Code, or who says it's their favourite book ever.

Ar Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 01:47 AM EST

I could not date someone that likes Paulo Coelho...I read not one but two of his books and found him so patronising and obnoxious!

pede Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 01:13 AM EST

I totally agree with Margarita. I dated a guy awhile back who didn't read. Anything. He didn't even pretend to 'read' Maxim or Playboy. As long as a guy reads something (ok, maybe not so much sci-fi stuff) I'm okay with it. I do admit to looking down on women who read those cheap romance novels. I tried reading one once when I had literally nothing else to read & UGH, horrible. I think I lost a few IQ points that day...

Kurt Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 01:09 AM EST

Do people have to just read a certain kind of book? I read the likes of Michael Crichton, Dean Koontz, and Stephan King just as much as Kerouac, Tolstoy, and Cormac McCarthy, and throw in non-fiction from people like Erik Larson, Jon Krakauer and Sebastian Junger. Sometimes you want fun, sometimes you want to be challenged, sometimes educated.

It's the reader who limits themselves to classics or this or that who misses out on a lot of great work- whether it's classy and enlightening or not. You can't go around reading nothing but Dostoevsky and be a complete reader (you also wouldn't be much fun- just as a person- probably).

I will say though, self help stuff like "The Secret" (though I won't discount all self-help) is vapid and trite and shouldn't be read by anyone who has standards. No offense.

Crystal Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 08:44 PM EST

First off, I would never describe Picoult novels as middlebrow, but that's just me.

Anyway, one for me would be Nick Hornby. If a guy had read something by him and didn't think it was at least somewhat funny, I would have to guess he (the guy) wouldn't be my type for a long-term relationship~

daisyj Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 08:39 PM EST

Oh, and I would totally watch "So You Think Your Ferret Can Dance."

Courtney Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 08:38 PM EST

My husband and I definitely don't see eye to eye when it comes to books, but I'm glad I married a reader, even if he is reading geeky sci-fi and fantasy stuff that I don't care for. The only thing that drives me a little nuts is when I recommend something to him that I know he'd like but he refuses to read b/c of our generally differing tastes in books. :) And amen to Dave re The Road and Oprah's Book Club. That is one of the best books and I ever read, and it has the Pulitzer pedigree to go with it. For a little while, Oprah was raising her book club's standards (see The Heart is a Lonely Hunter, The Sound and the Fury, etc.), but it seems she's going back to the middlebrow stuff (hello The Secret).

rc Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 08:26 PM EST

I've had 3 boyfriends "borrow" my copy of Blue Highways. None of them ever read the book and I never got the books back (bad breakups -- who doesn't return a favorite book?) I guess I'd love to date someone who reads. I'll settle for someone who doesn't lie to me about reading just to impress me and doesn't steal my favorite book.

books rock Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 07:39 PM EST

Wow. Pretentious. I've read books for purely escapist reasons and I've read books for their literary value. I could care less if someone reads an Oprah sanctioned book. Stop judging and just enjoy reading.

Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 07:37 PM EST

Wow. Pretentious. I've read books for purely escapist reasons and I've read books for their literary value. I could care less if someone reads an Oprah sanctioned book. Stop judging and just read.

traveladdict Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 07:20 PM EST

dating men who worship hemmingway and love the novel "high fidelity" by nick hornby has not panned out for me. so those likes always raise red flags for me.

Jenners Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 07:16 PM EST

Ugh Yes! The Secret and any other self-help rigamorale would be an immediate cause for dismissal! I can't believe that people buy into some of the crap that is put out there. However, on the other side, my little brother only reads Kerauac, Vonnegut, Bukowski, and poetry. This is equally annoying to me as I think it is completely pretentious of him. Basically I like to read all types of fiction with the occasional lite nonfiction thrown in (Evenings with Cary Grant as an example). As long as someone is reading, that is a start- I don't think I could ever be with someone who didn't find the joy in reading as I do.

Lyn Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 06:26 PM EST

I made my boyfriend read 50 pages of Julia Quinn. An Ivy-educated writer in the romance genre. He thought it was smart and funny. He declared it "women's fiction" and apologized for calling it crap. I can defend anything I read, I hope people I date could too. Why be a snob? If you enjoy it, that enough.

bonnylass Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 06:16 PM EST

Becky--ha ha! I didn't think i had a literary 'deal breaker' but i changed my mind when i read your post. i could not possibly take a guy seriously who thinks harry potter is 'satanic' or 'dangerous'. good call!

margarita Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 06:15 PM EST

i went on a first date to the movies with a co-worker. to kill time till our showing, we explored the nearby barnes and noble. it was at this point he told me he didn't like to read. at all.

that was the end of that relationship right there.

Nix Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 06:10 PM EST

Pseudo-highbrow stuff. I like real men, and real men don't read unless they also write. But I'd never fall in love with another writer, too many mutual dysfunctions. Don't know how Steve and Tabby manage it.

Becky Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 05:49 PM EST

I think a deal breaker for me would be if I got a boyfriend who told me that he thought the Harry Potter books were Satanic and would want me to give them, and all other books containing any magic, up. I'm a Christian who loves the Potter books and many other fantasy works, both Christian (Narnia, Lord of Rings), and not so much (Potter, Inkheart, anything by Terry Pratchett). I would definitely break up with someone who thought they were evil.

krikky Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 05:39 PM EST

Bollocks. If he can explain what it was about a piece of literature that spoke to him, who am I to judge his taste? There are much more important characteristics to worry about.

Steph Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 05:36 PM EST

Slightly off topic, but is esteemed EW guest writer Stephen King pissed that Jodi Picoult's latest book (Change of Heart) is an obvious rip off of The Green Mile. I love both authors, so I was so disappointed to see the blatent idea stealing done by Picoult.

wha? Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 05:25 PM EST

Why pick on Meg Cabot? I love her.

Celimene Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 05:23 PM EST

Non-reading of Vonnegut is totally a valid reason to break up with someone. Well... maybe not "Slapstick", but if someone refused to read "Breakfast of Champions," "Slaughterhouse-Five" or "Cat's Cradle", it would be lights out for them. Simple as that.
...and I fall firmly into the "overrated" category for "The Corrections."

Nerd Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 05:23 PM EST

Oh boy, I meant "We Need to Talk About Kevin." Now I feel silly. Also people mentioned if someone puts you down for reading something as a deal breaker. I completely agree. I won't judge you so don't judge me.

Dave Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 05:19 PM EST

The exception to the Oprah's book club rule is The Road by Cormac McCarthy. McCarthy trumps Oprah.

And anyone who thinks the DaVinci Code is a good piece of literature loses significant points.

Kai- Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 05:17 PM EST

I wish I'd to deal with the literary deal breaker issue. My husband doesn't read, while I can't put a book down.

snarky Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 05:01 PM EST

My last BF could not get through "The Adventures of Cavalier & Clay" and I thought worse of him because of it. His reading was mostly future/sci-fi crap. The new BF owns both the book and DVD version of "The Secret" which I am activley mocking. He may not last too long. I usually look for a man that can keep up with my magazine reading - EW, of course, as well as US Weekly and Newsweek.

Onarga Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 04:59 PM EST

I broke up with my last girlfriend for many reasons, but near the top was the hardcover, early printing of Kurt Vonnegut's Breakfast Of Champions that I gave her for X-mas one year which she proceeded to not read, but kept on the bottom of her bookshelf. I knew I was doing the right thing breaking up with her when I took the book back when her back was turned one of the last times I saw her, to this day I doubt she even knows it's gone. Who, who can truly be so cruel as to ignore the genius of Kurt Vonnegut? Humorist, humanist, delightful cynic...the man was a born relationship maker and breaker for the masses.

brandi Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 04:46 PM EST

My husband doesn't read at all, so that wasn't a problem for us. Like others who have posted, I will not read any of Oprah's book club choices, and I make fun of my friends who do.

Lauren Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 04:42 PM EST

I hear ya, Sarah. Besides being a fan of the two series you mentioned, I also heart YA. I said this on a previous post, and I'll say it again: if a guy doesn't share my affinity, cool. A little lighthearted teasing is fine. Looking down on me? Deal-breaker.

NineDaves Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 04:38 PM EST

although i would probably avoid someone into the secret, that's more of a philosophical difference. other than that, he can read whatever he wants. as long as he doesn't expect me to read books i don't like, that is.

Sarah Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 04:25 PM EST

The only deal breaker for me is if the other person made fun of my love of reading the Lord of the Rings every year followed up with Harry Potter. They can read whatever they want, just don't make fun of my reading tastes.

Lauri Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 04:21 PM EST

If someone I knew read Meg Cabot I would sever all ties with them.

kats Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 04:17 PM EST

Outside of required school reading, I don't think my husband and I have read any of the same books. He's into horror and whatever historical fact he's obsessing over at the moment i.e. the Titanic. I've read every Harry Potter more than once, enjoy tween fiction, have read almost all of Patricia Cornwell's Kay Scarpetta novels and enjoy murder mysteries and Michael Crichton. I think we may have both read The Firm....

Sara Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 04:11 PM EST

I totally identify with the woman in the article who mentioned Ayn Rand's works. I had something similar with my ex!

Bella Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 04:10 PM EST

I can be kind of a book snob, but I have matured and no longer try to force everyone to read only what I read. That said, I would never date someone who didn't appreciate literature from different cultures and/or centuries. Self-help books are a turn-off too. A mutual taste in literature is important to me- my current boyfriend and I both share a love of poetry, world mythology, and anything by Edith Wharton.

Ames Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 03:56 PM EST

I'm only snotty about romance novels, which guys don't tend to read anyway. But the problem I've had with guys is the literary snobs who don't believe they need to bother with female authors, or even books with female lead characters. You know -- the ones who take "old dead white guy" too much to heart.

Jess Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 03:52 PM EST

I'm pretty happy as long as they're reading. Though, I'll silenty judge a Da Vinci Code fan. That one is just too much too handle.

Lauren Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 03:50 PM EST

I once saw a guy reading Mein Kampf on the el. Granted, he looked fairly crazy, but still, I wouldn't want a potential boyfriend reading that (unless it was for a class or something).

The Secret--yeah, that'd be a deal-breaker.

Other than that, I love a man who reads.

Nerd Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 03:47 PM EST

I am a huge nerd and love to read but what other people or a potential future boyfriend reads isn't a big deal to me. And although I agree with others that I would never ever read something because of Oprah's book club (I'm not a fan of hers) if she gets other's to read then I'm all for it. But I do love the EW book reviews and because of them I read "The Post-Birthday World" which I absolutely loved and now I'll be reading "There's Something About Kevin" as soon as I finish the book I'm reading now. Reading is fun, it's too bad a lot of people don't enjoy it.

Emoney Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 03:44 PM EST

My husband only likes WWII novels. I don't know why, but that's what he likes. I am just happy that he reads something, so that while I read, he's quiet and not watching TV. I'm not a literary snob by any means (also find Picoult to be harmless, easy entertainment), but self-help does push my limits. Husband knows this, and if he has any such books, they are stored at his office or on CD so he can secretly listen to them in the car when I'm not there. So that's okay.

Vicky Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 03:40 PM EST

Books aren't really a deal breaker for me. Sometimes I read suggestions from my b/f and sometimes I don't. The great thing about books is that you read them by yourself. Whether you can talk about each book to each other is where the real test lies.

Meghan Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 03:32 PM EST

I'm not a huge book elitist. Despite my English degree, I'm still a sucker for Jodi Picoult novels (just finished her new one this weekend) and copious amounts of chick lit. That said, I sometimes silently judge people who list "The Da Vinci Code" as their favorite book (although I've read that one, too).

Stephanie T. Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 03:18 PM EST

I'd just be happy that they are reading stuff other than an anthology of Garfield or the new Maxim. "The Secret"? Are you serious? I can just picture Maya Rudolph's impersonation of Oprah.

jcarla Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 03:14 PM EST

cimagato, I had they same look when I moved recently and the moving men saw the boxes of books and looked at me like 'what do you need all these books for'. So sue me, I like biographies, classics, African-American litaure, satire and Harry Potter. If it's a good deal I'll buy it.

Marie Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 03:14 PM EST

I think I would only have a problem with a literary snob. I personally like everything from Dickens to Dean Koontz. But I can't stand the people who are "too educated for mass market." Puh-leeze. Though I'm not gonna lie - seeing a guy read The Secret (or other such fare) would be a serious turn-off.

daisyj Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 03:13 PM EST

I was about to be all "I'd never dump anyone over a book, I'd just be happy that they're reading," until you put "The Secret" up there. So, yeah, if I was dating someone whose literary tastes marked them out to me as a gullible fool, then I might just have to reconsider the possibility of this relationship having a future.
(And the poser who pretends to like a book they haven't even read because they think it will impress people might have other problems, but in and of itself I wouldn't call that a dealbreaker.)

cimagato Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 03:08 PM EST

Since reading is usually a solitary pursuit, the other half's reading completely up to him. And since most people I know aren't big readers, I've been trained not to expect literary insights from most of my friends. Gotta say though, the hubby was a little dismayed when we got married and saw the hundreds of books we move from house to house. That's been our only "reading" issue.

related to this... Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 03:06 PM EST

I read this article this morning and sent it off to my boyfriend, who passionately hates Ayn Rand. He laughed at the article it fully and acknowledged that he never dumped someone for their love of objectivism, but would never have dated them in the first place...thankfully, we both enjoy enough literature in common!

jcarla Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 03:05 PM EST

Well I read and collect comic books (along with other books, I'm rereading 'John Adams' now), so a deal breaker would be someone who looks down on my weekly stack. Especially if they go gaga over an auther that also writes comics (like Jodi Picoult, who just finished an arc in Wonder Woman).

related to this... Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 03:05 PM EST

I read this article this morning and sent it off to my boyfriend, who passionately hates Ayn Rand. He laughed at the article it fully and acknowledged that he never dumped someone for their love of objectivism, but would never have dated them in the first place...thankfully, we both enjoy enough literature in common!

Auriana Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 03:05 PM EST

I think deal breakers for me would be self help books and anything considered overhyped and trendy. I avoid the Oprah booklist like the plague. I'm actually an archaeologist myself but I read both non-fiction (my bookshelf is weighted down with scholarly books on Celtic and Medieval archaeology as well as tons of folklore, symbology and mythology books) and fiction (LOTs of fantasy novels, some historical fiction (Bernard Cornwell, Morgan Llywelyn), manga, a little chick lit (Sophie Kinsella) and a bunch of Classics (Austen, original gothic novels, Shakespeare)). My fiancee on the other hand will read only non-fiction and works on psychology. I tease him and try to get him to read fiction but he says he doesn't have the attention span for it. We get along fine though. As long as someone doesn't try to cram it down my throat, I could not care less what they read.