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Kenneth, what the hell are you doing?

Feb 27, 2008, 06:00 AM | by Annie Barrett

Categories: Music, Strange Bedfellows

BET's 106 & Park previewed the new video for Mariah Carey's "Touch My Body," and we're here to uneasily report that the lucky love object on the receiving end of that daunting, titular directive is none other than Kenneth the Page.

Kenneth isn't my fave 30 Rock character but I have a feeling that Jack McBrayer fans' ultimate Jack McBrayer fantasies probably do include him romping around a canopy bed in a tight tank and bowtie, and serving up fresh frisbees in his mouth. I'd prefer if Mariah had put a little more angsty passion into the bedroom scene — maybe she should go on Annuale birth control for some inspiration? — but perhaps the full video will feature some sort of dramatic climax. (Ewwww.)

Superficial poll time: Who can do better — Mimi or Jack? And should I have to take a timeout for referring to her as Mimi? Vote below.

paige Tue, Apr 15, 2008 at 02:16 PM EST

mariah sucks

V.M.L. Thu, Feb 28, 2008 at 06:57 PM EST

I love Kenneth! XDD This video is cool!

soulman Wed, Feb 27, 2008 at 10:20 PM EST

Yeah, I gotta admit, this is awesome. Mariah's got a serious sense of humor. The song is fun and catchy, too. Go Mimi!!! (feels weird, annie. you're right)

Michelle Wed, Feb 27, 2008 at 07:24 PM EST

With such a not serious song good for Mariah to embrace the humor. plus i'll watch anything with Kenneth. can't wait for 30 rock to return!!

Ernesto Wed, Feb 27, 2008 at 07:12 PM EST

Loved the video because it's funny and well Mariah looks HOT, don't hate her because she is, she has a great body, a beautiful face and loads of talent...the song may not be better than her previous but it's fun and catchy.I listen to music that makes me smile and feel good and this one does.

Phil Wed, Feb 27, 2008 at 03:18 PM EST

I am completely over this song, and they haven't released it yet on iTunes or put out any remixes yet. The only SMART thing Mariah did was show her comedic side by creating a moderately funny video starring Kenneth the Page. I am NOT a 30 Rock fan, but I'll be the 1st one to point that he's prolly the LEAST paid actor on the show, and prolly agreed to do this during the Writers Strike, cause well DUH! boy needs a paycheck somewhow! So if anyone has a love/hate relationship with Mariah, sit with THAT thought for a few! Anyways, I already know that this song will be DEAD at radio when the album drops on April 15th, but so i'm interested to see what the main appetizer is going to be. You know the song the record label quietly starts working the day the album is released like they did with "We Belong Together" last time.

mk Wed, Feb 27, 2008 at 02:46 PM EST

I think this video is great and her best yet. Also, she could very easily taken a "dirty" route...because the song is actually quite dirty in content, but not delivery.

100% pure pop genuis. Think Blink 182's "All The Small Things"

Ballzack Wed, Feb 27, 2008 at 02:35 PM EST

Song is catchy as F and should make a fun lil ringytony for all you kids out there and your Cinammons and Chocolates.

Mariah should eat something. It's fun.

Sharkeyes Wed, Feb 27, 2008 at 02:23 PM EST

Hate Mariah reminds me of 5th grade heartache and Christmas talent shows, but have missed Kenneth dearly so I watched it.

JoeC Wed, Feb 27, 2008 at 02:04 PM EST

This is easily the funniest video I've seen in a long time; more videos should be like this. Way to go Mimi!

MoroccoMole Wed, Feb 27, 2008 at 12:12 PM EST

Excuse me, but he's a very good sex person. He does it ALL the different ways.

Sally in Chicago Wed, Feb 27, 2008 at 11:31 AM EST

Loved the video, it put a smile on my face.

Robbie Wed, Feb 27, 2008 at 11:30 AM EST

Mariah's hilarious. Glad she's finally letting everyone else in on the joke.

Full video here:
http://www.vh1.com/video/play.jhtml?artist=976&vid=212381

Snarf Wed, Feb 27, 2008 at 11:06 AM EST

Ick. I feel dirty for having watched that. And yes you have a timeout for referring to MC as Mimi (oh crap)

junior Wed, Feb 27, 2008 at 11:05 AM EST

I love Mariah! The song is weak but it's better than Janet, true. I also love how smart Mariah is. She knows that by putting Kenneth the Page in her video, a whole bunch of people who wouldn't watch a Mariah video will.

GOB Wed, Feb 27, 2008 at 10:39 AM EST

Love Kenneth, love/hate Mariah (I'm with you Ep). The song seems pretty weak, though. I think Janet's new music is a little disappointing, too. It will be interesting to see what Madonna has up her sleeve. It looks like spring 08 is going to be a battle of the 90s divas.

Ep Sato Wed, Feb 27, 2008 at 10:08 AM EST

Does anyone else have a "love-hate" relationship with Mariah? I loved her first album, hated her slow music turn, loved her again when she covered "genius of love" and started acting like she was down with hip hop, hated her again after glitter and that wierd breakdown, hated her for suing porn star Mary Carey, then loved her again when she cameo'd in that awesome Jay Z "Roc Boys" video.

Now I've got to give her credit for this one. She does the catholic schoolgirl outfit better than old school Brittany AND she gets it on with Kenneth the Page! I'm back to loving Mariah...for now

queen of disrepair Wed, Feb 27, 2008 at 09:21 AM EST

This doesn't suck. Which it should and it is all because of McBrayer. However, Affleck and Kimmel seem like a more believable couple.

Elizabeth Wed, Feb 27, 2008 at 07:13 AM EST

"I just love television sooo much"... OMG: Mariah - you rule for getting Jack McBrayer!

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