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'The Hills' is like 'The Truman Show,' only awful

Nov 2, 2007, 04:33 PM | by Annie Barrett

Categories: Reality TV

Heidi_l I started watching The Hills this season, mostly because I feel a journalistic responsibility to be aware of every popular, slowly unfurling disaster on television. Plot- and character-wise, it's not a worthwhile show. That's pretty obvious. It is, however, a fascinating display of the way completely contrived BS keeps edging out these people's mediocre reality to the point of total annihilation. (PopWatch's weekly Comeback reference alert!) As Jane, the reality TV producer on The Comeback once told Valerie Cherish after asking her to do another take to the camera, "I just think your reality could be a little more interesting."

Now, we've heard MTV's holding castings for "key roles" at Heidi and her boyfriend I can't even name because I'm convinced he is an alien's wedding. Because they suck so much, these two are each other's only friends. So the show needs to hire moderately attracitve but less-cute-than-Heidi people to sit there and pretend to care. I know that scripting a sacred event should strike me as horrifying, but instead I'm simply a little more intrigued than ever. I fake can't wait to watch Heidi's fake wedding! And I for-real can't wait for the episode when Heidi taps that boy between his beady eyes and low-functioning computer processing units shoot out of his nostrils.


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DrLecter Sat, Sep 6, 2008 at 07:27 AM EST

Facebook group for those sane people who detest this pile of manufactured drivel.

Search for "I hate "The Hills" on MTV on Facebook.

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C LUCID Sun, Nov 11, 2007 at 02:46 AM EST

A.B. this is quite humorous. i watch this show religiously, and you got it right on the button. :o)

confidential Tue, Nov 6, 2007 at 10:26 AM EST

Watch this.... its awesome!!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdzPJJneQyg

B Ro Mon, Nov 5, 2007 at 05:22 PM EST

Hey, dap, is that Ashton Kutcher's latest vehicle?

Jill Mon, Nov 5, 2007 at 03:42 PM EST

I haven't watched MTV since 1989.....back when it and VH1 showed MUSIC VIDEOS.

Hutchy Mon, Nov 5, 2007 at 01:56 PM EST

I'm just going to quote Earth's resident genius, President Joe Bowers, the smartest man alive: "There was a time when reading wasn't just for f*gs. And neither was writing. People wrote books and movies. Movies with stories, that made you care about whose ass it was and why it was farting. And I believe that time can come again!"

Ames Mon, Nov 5, 2007 at 01:10 PM EST

Is this show a reality show or not? I can't figure out which is worse: that there are people this stupid, or that there are writers this stupid. I've never watched, but the clips they show on The Soup are enough to really trouble me.

Rasha Mon, Nov 5, 2007 at 12:03 PM EST

I just need to warn you: Watching that show is a danger to your intelligence. It's absolutely horrendous.

GeeMoney Mon, Nov 5, 2007 at 11:43 AM EST

The fact that people actually watch this show makes me want to vomit.

stephen to to stephen Mon, Nov 5, 2007 at 11:26 AM EST

Haha, well, she could dance if she detoxed a lil bit, and we shall never speak of "Chaotic."

To Stephen Mon, Nov 5, 2007 at 09:46 AM EST

"I mean, at least someone like Britney can dance and put on a good show . . ."
You mean like at the MTV awards, where she did neither? In my opinion, Britney falls into the same category as Paris Hilton, Lauren Conrad, and other reality "stars." Britney even did a reality show herself on UPN!
But I agree with your main point, which is that it's very sad the way our culture now elevates the talentless idiots, and the real talent goes completely unnoticed. Sad and pathetic.

furry_tom Mon, Nov 5, 2007 at 09:37 AM EST

What's Gatorade? You must mean Brawndo, the thirst mutilator. It's got electrolytes.

Shannon Mon, Nov 5, 2007 at 07:43 AM EST

The show has run its course. Our heroine (LC) has failed (in however many seasons) to develop her lackluster personality. These girls are uninteresting and average. ***Amy - a million girls would kill for your job - please use spell-check next time. :)

Martha Sun, Nov 4, 2007 at 03:48 PM EST

I think it would be fun if someone secretly tattooed "Fame Whore" on Heidi and Spencer's foreheads. It wouldn't be strictly necessary, seeing as it's so freaking obvious, but it would be entertaining for the rest of us.

S.H. Sat, Nov 3, 2007 at 10:21 PM EST

I can't stand either of them they are both fake. lame and need to get over themselves. The world is much bigger than Heidi and Spencer.

To Ep Sato Sat, Nov 3, 2007 at 06:48 PM EST

Amen to that Ep Sato, Amen to that.

dave-o Sat, Nov 3, 2007 at 08:46 AM EST

shows like this give me an ice cream headache...

Coleen Sat, Nov 3, 2007 at 08:16 AM EST

I'm actually grateful that I'm too poor to afford cable - my son isn't exposed to this garbage.

hutchy Sat, Nov 3, 2007 at 06:55 AM EST

OH....my.......god!! Was that just an Idiocracy reference in the talkback?!?!? Dap, you just ascended to Talkback Legendary Status with that comment!! Maybe next we can all start watering our crops with Gatorade because its, you know, good for everything and stuff.

To Confidential Sat, Nov 3, 2007 at 06:27 AM EST

To Confidential--- What IS up with the America's Next Top Model marathons? Every single time I turn on MTV these days, they've got another year of that show on! I don't even want the Real World anymore (the latest season, with the two blond lookalikes and the Mean Girls that can't stand each other, is just unwatchable). I just want some music videos!!! Is that too much to ask?

Mara Cruz Sat, Nov 3, 2007 at 03:31 AM EST

Greetings...
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dap Fri, Nov 2, 2007 at 11:40 PM EST

It's a race between Fox and MTV to see who is the first to air "Ow! My balls!"

Berta Fri, Nov 2, 2007 at 07:04 PM EST

We all know it's not real but who cares it's still fun to watch. Yes please no more next top model. We'll always love are MTV.

BeazerStL Fri, Nov 2, 2007 at 07:02 PM EST

I only started watching because of what I was reading and Brody. Curiosity killed the cat you know. Nothing is like it on TV and It is so wonderfully awkward at times. I can't believe how much I enjoy the show and even the dastardly Spencer. The blank stares, Awkward silence may give the appearance that it's lame but look between the lines and see more.I hate everything and I'm shocked at how much I enjoy Lauren and her Friends.

Stephen (again) Fri, Nov 2, 2007 at 05:50 PM EST

Also, if EW hates The Hills, why give it a TV Watch? Just because it has the ratings? Smells like selling out to me.

James Fri, Nov 2, 2007 at 05:48 PM EST

The look on the womans' face doing the fitting is PRICELESS! She has that,"WHAT DID I DO WRONG IN MY LIFE TO DESERVE THIS CRAP?" look.

Stephen Fri, Nov 2, 2007 at 04:59 PM EST

MTV is contributing to the dumbing down of America. These are our icons? Our stars? I mean, at least someone like Britney can dance and put on a good show, what do they DO?
P.S. I think Spencer's gay...

Jonathan F. Fri, Nov 2, 2007 at 04:57 PM EST

This show is an embarassment to humankind.

Laura Fri, Nov 2, 2007 at 04:54 PM EST

I don't know his name .. but the groom looks like he is and will be ready to pimp this girl anytime anywhere and sometimes just for fun.

confidential Fri, Nov 2, 2007 at 04:52 PM EST

I just miss the MTV of 1992-1996! I hate the America's Next Top Model weekends which seem to be every weekend! Just give me my Real World, MTV News, and actual VIDEOS!!

confidential Fri, Nov 2, 2007 at 04:45 PM EST

I just want my MTV of 1992-1996 back! I HATE AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL!!!!! MAKE IT STOP!

confidential Fri, Nov 2, 2007 at 04:45 PM EST

I just want my MTV of 1992-1996 back! I HATE AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL!!!!! MAKE IT STOP!

Ep Sato Fri, Nov 2, 2007 at 03:59 PM EST

I fear for the youth of tomorrow and the faith of western civilization every time this show comes on.

Could there be any more money dedicated to the non-lives of socially inept spoiled brats who have nothing to give back to the world? And rather than use these fools as the tools of ridicule that they should be, it strikes me as horrible that MTV showcases these idiots as some sort of ideal for children to strive to become.

MTV's message of overly celebrated stardom, style over substance and instant gratification were disgusting enough when they still showed videos, but now it's just pathetic.

Okay, I'll get off my soapbox now.


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