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Recipe for Disaster: A 'Hell's Kitchen' Videogame

Oct 26, 2007, 11:53 AM | by Marc Bernardin

Categories: Channel Surfing, Food and Drink, Videogames

Hell_l I love cooking shows. Really, it's a weakness of mine. (Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I'm on a diet and if watching Paula Deen add a stick of butter to everything is as close as I'll get to indulgence... well, I'll take it.) I could watch the Food Network all day, and would if I didn't need to earn money to keep the cable on so I could watch the Food Network. And I'm a pretty decent cook, provided ''beef'' and ''open flame'' are integral to the recipe.

But the news of a Hell's Kitchen videogame has to rank among the upper echelon of silly ideas I've ever heard. Why? Because cooking is either a spectator sport or a participant activity. If you're watching, you want to drool while watching the deliciousness take shape onscreen. If you're cooking, you get to eat. Neither of which will happen with a videogame, I don't care how next-gen the virtual cooking experience may be. (You will, however, get to hear HK's Chef Gordon Ramsay, pictured, yell at you for your virtual incompetence.) Bytes will never equal bites.

Follow the jump to discover five other videogames I'll never play... should they create them.

1) Vacuum Adventures: Sweep the rug for hidden jewels and old Cheerios
2) AAA Roadside Showdown: Who Can Change a Tire the Fastest?
3) Tournament Fishing: Grab your tackle box, launch the bass boat and let's go! (Okay, this really is a game. Which frightens me.)
4) Velcro vs. Shoelaces: The Final Chapter
5) NapQuest


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wintersux Mon, Oct 29, 2007 at 08:45 AM EST

NapQuest!!!! I totally want that game, when does it come out?

MegaDaffy Sun, Oct 28, 2007 at 08:24 PM EST

Also, I hate to say this Rob Grizzly but I saw a Dancing with The Stars game for the Wii at a local Gamestop this weekend. I guess we'll see you later then.

MegaDaffy Sun, Oct 28, 2007 at 08:21 PM EST

If this actually passes through development, It will probably be rated
"M" for mature due to the constant stream of obscenities that Chef Gordon Ramsey will yell at you.

orville Sat, Oct 27, 2007 at 12:58 PM EST

And which button makes the chefs sweat into the food? Will the cyber Ramsey make the cyber chefs cry as much as the real one does?

SuzieC Fri, Oct 26, 2007 at 10:28 PM EST

Vacuum adventures sounds awesome! I'd play it and probably this Hell's Kitchen game knowing myself. It sounds hilarious.

daisyj Fri, Oct 26, 2007 at 04:18 PM EST

I would totally play Vacuum Adventures.

Tony Fri, Oct 26, 2007 at 03:42 PM EST

Y'all need to get better opening sentences for these. Take a cue from the AV Club:

"In what is most likely the greatest cooking-related video game since Burgertime, Canadian-based developers Ludia have announced plans to create a Hell's Kitchen title."

Angelic Fri, Oct 26, 2007 at 01:51 PM EST

Aparently you've never played Cooking Mama, which is what this sounds like. This thing better be on the Wii.

arryana Fri, Oct 26, 2007 at 01:08 PM EST

finally! i get to make undercooked green risotto and get called "don-KEY" by the master!

Mark Fri, Oct 26, 2007 at 12:31 PM EST

But can a Hell's Kitchen game possibly surpass the joy that is Cooking Mama?

Rob Grizzly Fri, Oct 26, 2007 at 12:30 PM EST

If they make a game of Dancing with the Stars, I'm outta here

Ben Fri, Oct 26, 2007 at 11:51 AM EST

And which button overcooks the scallops and undercooks the lamb?

Ben Fri, Oct 26, 2007 at 11:44 AM EST

Can I play Aaron from last season on the game? Or maybe Rock and then I can destroy the kitchen while Gordon Ramsay repeatedly yells "Bollocks!" at me in his usual soothing and helpful manner.


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