Who else is trapped in the closet with Dumbledore?

scifigeek Thu, Dec 25, 2008 at 10:02 PM EST

Yes, all the robots including the robot from Lost In Space!! I thought Dr. Smith and the Robot were a couple.

Let's not forget Starbuck and Apollo in the original Battlestar.

And EVERYONE from Bewitched!!!! All that arm waving and those colorful clothes. Sheesh!!!

nqbsewg fjwxaizk Sat, Mar 8, 2008 at 06:55 PM EST

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Jimmy Fri, Oct 26, 2007 at 10:39 PM EST

Havent you ever seen Dogma? Jay is the one that is gay, not Silent Bob!

nick Fri, Oct 26, 2007 at 02:45 AM EST

Lady Elaine Fairchild

nick Fri, Oct 26, 2007 at 02:45 AM EST

Lady Elanie Fairchild.

Barbwire Thu, Oct 25, 2007 at 06:15 PM EST

If Fred Rogers wasn't gay, he was at least a child molester. He truly gave me the creeps. If he had lived in my neighborhood, my kids wouldn't have been allowed within a mile of him.

RP Thu, Oct 25, 2007 at 08:31 AM EST

JfromCanada: Just because someone is, or is thought to be, gay doesn't mean the relationship is about sex.

Stephanie T. Wed, Oct 24, 2007 at 02:57 PM EST

Ok I agree EP, Jughead=stoner

Pantharo, Snarf, and Lion-O- Thundercats

Hordeack-She-Na

Doctor Scarab-Bionic 6

peach Wed, Oct 24, 2007 at 01:54 PM EST

Teela from He-Man was a total lesbian.
Captian Janeway and 7of9 were totally a couple. And what about Scarlett from GI Joe? She always seemed a little butch to me.

EP Sato Wed, Oct 24, 2007 at 01:37 PM EST

Jughead's not gay, he's a stoner! His eyes are always closed, he's always hungry, and he usually wears the same clothes as the day before.

Reggie tries too hard to be a player so he might be a bit more suspect, especially if one considers the questionably abusive relationship he has with the other closeted Archie character....Big Moose.

Peanut shell Wed, Oct 24, 2007 at 12:08 PM EST

Can't agree re peppermint patty and marcy. In Bon Voyage, Charlie Brown, where they travel to france as exchange students, marcy hooks up with a french dude that is part of the host family and peppermint patty mistakenly thinks that the guy is really into her.

JfromCanada Wed, Oct 24, 2007 at 12:06 PM EST

Why does everyone assume that if you are single, don't fit into the male/female stereotype, and have close relationships with the same sex, that you are gay? Ok, in many cases that IS true.... but not always! You're making it sound like the only kinds of relationships people have with each other are about sex. I choose to believe that we live in a world where people can love each other and be good friends without their sexuality being an issue. Besides, we are talking about FICTIONAL characters... they are whatever the author decides them to be...if Rowling didn't want Sirius and Lupine to be gay, than no amount of wishing (or seriously disturbed fan fiction) is going to make it so.

Stephanie T. Wed, Oct 24, 2007 at 11:57 AM EST

Alexander Cabot-Josie and the Pussycats
Jughead and Reggie- Archie

Stephanie T. Wed, Oct 24, 2007 at 11:55 AM EST

Dixie, the character Ralphie Wiggum IS GAY. In The Simpsons Movie, he annouced that he liked boys.

Mr. Furley- Threes Company

Tom Hulce and Steven Furst-Animal House. But then again, I believe that Tom Hulce is actually gay.

Stan Gable- Revenge of the Nerds-Prefered pumping iron and teasing intelligent men

The old guy from Family Guy

Cleveland Brown-Family Guy

Schroder-Peanuts

Elizabeth Wed, Oct 24, 2007 at 11:41 AM EST

Uh, with the headline, and two accompanying photos, you just killed every good memory of my childhood. Just kidding... but enough of the Bert/Ernie thing. Why don't ya throw Prairie Dawn in for good measure as the Peppermint Patty.

Strepsi Wed, Oct 24, 2007 at 11:29 AM EST

LOL @ Larry, you're right Jonny Quest's dad Dr. Benton Quest is SO gay -- Race Bannon his bodyguard? My a$$. The proof is having a dog named "Bandit": soooo Abercrombie&Fitch. Pretty much every Hanna-Barbera cartoon had a gay character, including Velma, Valerie and Alan from Josie and the Pussycats, Sangglepuss, and Aquaman. There are some voice actors whose characters all just sound gay - like the clerk in the Flintstones who says "WELLLLL, Mr. FlintSTONE!"

EP Sato Wed, Oct 24, 2007 at 11:20 AM EST

Larry, check out "Harvey Birdman:Attorney At Law". The first season featured a lawsuit with Dr. Quest and his um "friend" fighting over custody of Johnny Quest. The innuendos alone make the episode worth watching.

ugh Wed, Oct 24, 2007 at 11:18 AM EST

Looks like the sci-fi nerds have invaded popwatch.

Susan Wed, Oct 24, 2007 at 11:15 AM EST

To Liane: Queer panic in LOTR? Frodo was queer in his own way. Carrying on a menage a trois with an already married Elf Queen IS queer... Elf/hobbit love doesn't fit in.If Frodo&Sam were REALLY gay for each other,Sam wouldn't have married Rosie,nor would have Frodo sailed off with Galadriel (leaving her consort Celeborn behind)

I do think Frodo&Galadriel needed to come "out of the closet" for each other.But Tolkien wasn't so blatant.Luckily,Peter Jackson was,since the actors starring as them make ONE HOT COUPLE.

Dee Wed, Oct 24, 2007 at 11:15 AM EST

Who was the plumber chick on Green Acres? I thought for the longest time she was a man. Plus she was so handy!

Stephen Wed, Oct 24, 2007 at 11:06 AM EST

Um, Tinkiewinkie? Unless he was just extremely metrosexual.

Mark M Wed, Oct 24, 2007 at 10:59 AM EST

Grover was sooooo gay! He was such a drama queen with the whole "monster at the end of the book" thing. Big ole' Mo! And Velma from Scooby-Doo, that big ole girl lover wearing the tragic orange sweater turtle neck...jinkies! She has the same tragic fashion since as most female-on-female comedians.

Jaded1 Wed, Oct 24, 2007 at 10:56 AM EST

Nobody mentioned "Squidward"....c'mon...he may be the gayest of all. And that's saying alot, because certainly every character on Spongebob is gay.

Cholula Wed, Oct 24, 2007 at 10:55 AM EST

Heat Miser and Cold Miser....gay brothers

Anonymous Wed, Oct 24, 2007 at 10:55 AM EST

I can't believe no one's mentioned HERMEY, the elf who wants to be a dentist, from "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer"!

Larry Wed, Oct 24, 2007 at 10:53 AM EST

I just finished reading this list and found many of the characters from shows I watched as a kid in the 60s listed - and agree with the assessments! However, there is one that was missed "Johnny Quest"! Dr. Quest and Race Bannon, roaming the world with two teen-age boys (Johnny and Hadji) and a dog Bandit. I always thought Race and the Doc were more than friends - and that Hadji got himself into trouble so that Johnny would have to save him!

Honeybee111 Wed, Oct 24, 2007 at 10:50 AM EST

What a fun post! I have to go with the classics, Peppermint Patty and Marcie - despite Shultz's insistence he didn't mean it that way.

Also, I'm going to go with Squidward from Spongebob - he's just a little too much like Paul Lynde for me to let it slide. And that squirrel is pretty butch, too.

Bugs Bunny never had a girlfriend and likes drag. That's a little suspicious.

Weirdly enough, as a child I always thought Bert & Ernie were brothers. But maybe not...

Bob O'Brien Wed, Oct 24, 2007 at 10:17 AM EST

Tony The Tiger gay? No...
not unless he starts saying,
"they're FABULOUSSSSSSSSSSS."

Dawm Wed, Oct 24, 2007 at 10:13 AM EST

Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Jake Gylenhaal. Oh, and OF COURSE Statler and Waldorf were gay...they were at the theatre eight nights a week!

Dixie Wed, Oct 24, 2007 at 10:10 AM EST

Lenny and Carl from the Simpsons...and possibly Ralph Wiggum. Come to think of it, Ned Flanders kind of seems to be overcompensating for something

to Melissa Wed, Oct 24, 2007 at 09:46 AM EST

They're bigger lesbos than Rosie at a KD Lang concert

Stephanie T. Wed, Oct 24, 2007 at 09:28 AM EST

Jeff: The Peppermint Patty and Marcy thing reminds me of an SNL parody where Rachel Dratch portrayed Marcy. That was too much. lol.

Mr. Snuffleupagus
Birdman
Squiddly Diddly
Davey (Davey and Goliath)
GoGo Do-Do
Elmer Fudd
Marvin the Martian
The Big Red-Haired Monster with sneakers from the Looney Tunes cartoons
Daffy Duck
Magnus from Lazytown- I know, he's married but seriously, he's an international arobics champion who runs around doing push ups and jumping jacks in blue spandex tight-tights while listening to Euro-Synthpop. Not in the closet?

Brian Wed, Oct 24, 2007 at 09:11 AM EST

Jimmy Olsen
Batman & Robin

Melissa Wed, Oct 24, 2007 at 09:08 AM EST

To To Melissa: you are so right - Peppermint Patty and Marcy. My bad! I can totally see them in my head. Thanks for correcting me :)

But am I right? Total lesbians, no?

wildecat Wed, Oct 24, 2007 at 09:07 AM EST

Ceballos - don't forget how Bugs and Daffy liked to dress up in tuxedos and sing show tunes!

orville Wed, Oct 24, 2007 at 08:46 AM EST

Statler and Waldorf? Nah. I'll give you Sam the Eagle and possibly even Fozzie Bear, but not the old coots. Waldorf has a wife (yes, I know...marriage doesn't negate gayness) named...wait for it....Astoria. I think they only mentioned her a couple of times though. And Sirius and Lupin--definitely. Many a fan fiction story has been based on that relationship. They even sneaked in a couple of hints in the last movie. And how about Malcolm Reed from "Enterprise"?

Joe C Wed, Oct 24, 2007 at 07:53 AM EST

I always thought Tony the Tiger from Frosted Flakes(They're Grrrrrrrrrrrreat!) had a 'thing' for Count Chocula. That was the rumor back in the day, then Capn' Crunch moved into the picture. What a scandal...Not that there is anything wrong with that....

Tank Girl Wed, Oct 24, 2007 at 06:51 AM EST

Daniel - The Todd is not gay. The Todd is most likely pansexual. He'll do it with anyone, anywhere, anytime.

He's THE TODD.

bb Wed, Oct 24, 2007 at 06:07 AM EST

Nelly Olson

To Liane Wed, Oct 24, 2007 at 05:32 AM EST

re: "Sorry Jeff, Samwise was so not gay. The first thing he did when he went back to the Shire was get the girl!
" Yeah, but where the heck did she COME FROM? Rosie was air-lifted into the story to de-gay Sam after his loving moments with Frodo. Both the book and the movie had a homosexual panic at the end. You know a Deus Ex Machina? Rosie is like a Heterosexus Ex Machina, heterosexualizing Sam. He's like one of those "ex-gays". The REAL queer, who is still in love, Frodo, thus has to disappear -- has to actually LEAVE the entire world!!! Along with the other magical creatures so it can become our "safe" and heterosexual (read: boring) World of Men......

Nix Wed, Oct 24, 2007 at 12:17 AM EST

Everyone I can think of is already mentioned, so I would just like to reiterate that Dick and I are NOT GAY. deep and abiding love, sure. but sex? hell no. I won't vouch for Webster, though.

Monee Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 11:27 PM EST

c-3p0 from star wars...i know he was a robot, but come on!

Susan Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 11:16 PM EST

Agree about Sam getting the girl (i.e.Rose) back in the Shire. They had THIRTEEN kids together! Closeted married gay men tend NOT to father large families,if you think of high-profile ones such as James McGreevey or Ted Haggard.

Now I think Frodo,Galadriel and Celeborn were a threesome a la HBO's "Big Love." A happy,open menage a trois. Think about it. The Mirror scene (it is set on Valentine's Day,according to Tolkien's chronology)Frodo's vision of Galadriel in Shelob's cave. Galadriel's "come hither" look to Frodo before he got on the ship. Peter Jackson was clearly promoting polyamory. Will someone PLEASE think of the polyamorists?

mjade27 Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 10:31 PM EST

Dr. Theopolis did have it real bad for Buck.

Maybe even Tiger Man.

bootsycolumbia Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 10:23 PM EST

To DawnLD: Statler and Waldorf gay? Hmm--maybe. But really, what about Scooter? I always thought he was.

Middento Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 10:18 PM EST

Oh please: Cherry Valance from Red River. An oldie, but that gun scene kills me every time.

Middento Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 10:16 PM EST

Oh please: Cherry Valance from Red River. An oldie, but that gun scene kills me every time.

Jenn Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 10:01 PM EST

Any character played by Fred Armisen(SNL).
Much as I love Heroes and don't really think it's true, Mohinder and Matt definitely give off that vibe now.
Darla's rich boyfriend on Little Rascals. Everything he's on, I think he's gay.
And of course, Minkus.

Liane Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 09:52 PM EST

Sorry Jeff, Samwise was so not gay. The first thing he did when he went back to the Shire was get the girl!

Julia Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 09:31 PM EST

Jeff from "Today's Special" (the mannequin who came to life when the mouse put a hat on his head and said the magic words) was totally gay.

Jeff Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 09:10 PM EST

Totally agree with the Peppermint Patty/Marcy comments (i remember being SO surprised as a child when I found out Peppermint Patty was a GIRL! Why does Marcy call her "sir" then? lol). And I agree with Samwise from LOTR (and I think so does Peter Jackson... Samwise in Return of the King was pretty darn gay).

kristalrose29 Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 08:12 PM EST

Okay, I agree with the robot-gayness except for one: Data. Data was "Fully functional and programmed in multiple techniques." He had Tasha Yar and the Borg Queen, c'mon now. :) How about Wesley Crusher? He struck me as being gay.

Christina Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 07:41 PM EST

James Wilson on House. It would make a lot of sense if he came out. Plus, I think a lot of fans, atleast House/Wilson shippers, pretty much expect a Big Gay Wilson storyline somewhere down the line.

Anna Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 06:47 PM EST

Ah, I can't belive with all the LoTR talk that I and everyone else forgot about Sam Gamgee. Talk about devoted.

Gay Sidekick FTW Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 06:06 PM EST

Jenny P I love you and you are forgiven for your overly-strong-wordedness because your explanation was so insightful and touching and reminded me of a John Hughs movie.

Jenny P Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 05:56 PM EST

to Gay Sidekick FTW:

lawd lawd, I didn't mean shameful that they had something to be ashamed of--far from it, I only meant that they themselves must harbor some kind of shame (maybe shame is too strong a word--lack of cojones to come out to the object of their affection? idk), or else it WOULDN'T be a silent, one-sided thing. I find homosexual love in no way shameful--but I do think shame and love often go together, and not only in a homosexual context.

Snarf Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 05:16 PM EST

Grandpa on the Simpsons.

Dominique L. Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 05:13 PM EST

Watch Chasing Amy again. Silent Bob is not gay. Merry and Pippin on the other hand....

Daniel Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 04:45 PM EST

The Todd from "Scrubs".

Susan Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 04:44 PM EST

Gandalf--when will Christopher Tolkien be outing him? One can imagine Gandalf saying,"When I told Frodo 'keep it secret,keep it safe,I meant our love relationship. I resisted the One Ring's temptation,but I couldn't resist the Ringbearer's wide-eyed,gap-toothed,shaggy-footed sexiness."

Ramandu in the Narnia book "Voyage of the Dawn Treader." When will Douglas Gresham out him? He wears glittery,silvery clothes (Liberace at the World's End?),he's a fabulous caterer,collects antiques (such as the Stone Table&the knife that slew Aslan),and has a daughter...without ANY mention of a mother.Did he adopt her or have her through a surrogate?

to Melissa Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 04:39 PM EST

I think you mean Peppermint Patty. Marcy was the friend who called her sir.

mikey Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 04:34 PM EST

The way things are going on South Park -- home of gay Satan, Mr(s). Garrison, Mr. Slave, and Big Gay Al -- it's looking more and more like Cartman might be the gayest of 'em all.

SciFiFan Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 04:29 PM EST

That's so ironic, that the ONE straight robot is called BENDER! Thanks! :-D

Miriam Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 04:19 PM EST

Velma on Scooby Doo

To SciFi Fan Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 04:16 PM EST

While agree most robots seem gay, one that is definately NOT gay: Bender from Futurama.Cigar-smoking, womanizing, alcoholic Bender....

Bennie Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 04:09 PM EST

Everybody knows that Robin needs to come out of the closet in the batcave asap

SciFi Fan Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 04:03 PM EST

Every robot is gay (maybe it's the idea of a shiny, perfect being that does not naturally reproduce? :P ), starting with Maria in Metropolis in 1927. As mentioned, C3P0, R2D2, Twiki, Dr. Theopolis, Robbie the Robot, The Terminator, The Transformers (and don't tell me a straight kid is called Jazz or Bumblebee. Optimus Prime is a gay porn name), Johnny 5, Rodney Copperbottom (helloooo!), Bishop, Ash, Data, Marvin, Hal, and Kitt.

Greg Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 03:54 PM EST

JAFAR from Aladdin!! Watch it again; you'll see what I mean...

50s_Hotbeds Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 03:53 PM EST

Rose Marie, the Dick Van Dyke show
Eddie Haskell, Leave it to Beaver
Sgt. Joe Friday, Dragnet
- I tried to only have shows with Dyke, Beaver, and Drag in the title. You know, for kicks.

Melissa Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 03:49 PM EST

Definitely Marcy from Peanuts/Charlie Brown. Come on, whatsherface called her "Sir"!

mikey Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 03:45 PM EST

Barney Rubble was a priss and totally into Fred (who was straight).
The Lone Ranger and Tonto for sure.
From The Muppets I'm going to say that Sam the Eagle was repressing something.
Jimmy Stewart's character in "Rear Window" -- dude had an in her absolute prime Grace Kelly all over him and was more interested in peeping at Raymond Burr.

Charlie Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 03:40 PM EST

I always felt Alice from the Brady Bunch was gay, and that Sam the Butcher was merely her cover story.

EP Sato Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 03:40 PM EST

Ernie's not gay but his boyfriend is!

Here's my list:

The Terminator. He likes walking around naked, he's got a thing for "protecting young boys" but only after he attempts to kill their mothers.

Legolas from the LOTR movies (Or maybe it's just the actor who plays him?). He's a little too into watching Aragorn's back(side).

Kurt Russell's character in "Big Trouble in Little China". He makes out with Kim Catrall but then leaves her behind when she offers to get in his truck for some real action. No straight man could turn her down.

Dr. Smith from Lost in Space: No need to even talk about this one.

The gayest fictional couple in fiction: R2D2 and C3PO. One of them looks like a blue sex toy and the other is always fretting whenever his beloved R2 "unit" disappears.

Srepsi Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 03:26 PM EST

If you're looking for gay, it does not get much gayer than this EW.COM NEWS headline today:
"Rachael Ray Taps Valerie Bertinelli"
- coffee came out my nose!

MF Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 03:24 PM EST

I always thought Kermit the Frog was gay, and Miss Piggy was just his fag hag (or, actually, maybe she was a drag queen. which explains sooo much)

Sapphic Sitcoms Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 03:19 PM EST

Darlene O'Connor in Roseanne
Officer Barbara Weston in Empty Nest
Jane Hathaway in Beverly Hillbillies
Kimberley Drummond in Diffrent Strokes
Nell Harper in Gimme a Break
Vanesa Huxtable in The Cosby Show
Maude and Vivian in Maude
...
And don't forget there is not a single straight character (or actor, actually) in BEWITCHED. Gayest. show. ever.

bob Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 03:17 PM EST

Uh, I'm thinking no on Mr. Rodgers...

He was a marine sniper... I think he was just overcompensating...

HoYay Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 03:10 PM EST

Male Animé villains are often dubbed as being "light in the loafers". Most Effete villains (homo = debauched) and sidekicks (homo = witty, sissy). Anyone who uses the word "effete"

LOL @ Eileen re: Gaston. True! Plus his "sidekick" LeFou

also from Disney movies:
Flower the Skunk in Bambi
Jiminy Cricket
Dopey
Bashful
Sheer Khan
Ursula (drag queen)
Kronk
Scar
Timon and Pumbaa
Buzz Lightyear
Jodi Foster

Eileen Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 02:53 PM EST

Gaston from Beauty and the Beast (Disney version). He passed up the three hot blondes who were all over him, in favor of VERY publicly going after Belle, the only girl in town who wouldn't take him. He then tries to kill her beast, thus ensuring that she will never really want to be with him. Then there is the way he sings "I use antlers in all of my decorating" with pointed toes.

C C Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 02:52 PM EST

Sorry, there's no way Wonder Woman is "in the closet". Wonder Woman's creator William Moulton Marston (aka Charles Moulton) modeled her after the two women in his life-his wife Elizabeth and lover Olive Byrne, who lived with William and his wife in a psydo-polygamist household.

Ceballos Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 02:48 PM EST

Easy...Bugs Bunny.

He was a frequent cross-dresser and ran around kissing dudes on the mouth whenever he got a chance. I don't think anyone bought his "relationship" in recent years with Lola Bunny.

Chris G Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 02:46 PM EST

A.C. Slater, Saved by the Bell.

Anonymous Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 02:45 PM EST

Janice from the Muppets was a lesbo. "For sure, dude!"

GeeMoney Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 02:42 PM EST

And those two old guys from the muppets that always made fun of everyone. Totally gay!

GeeMoney Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 02:41 PM EST

Bert and Ernie. End of story!

Gay Sidekick FTW Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 02:34 PM EST

Jenny: You're right about sidekicks -and you had me until "shameful". Homosexual love and homo-social love (House etc.) ain't shameful! That actually was the entire homophobic tipping point of 3:10 to Yuma, where the sidekick's love became obvious so he had to be SHOT. Apparently they really are TRAPPED in the closet or they'll be killed! Evil villains are redeemable, but homo sidekicks are not? Ugh.

Martha Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 02:27 PM EST

Hey Strepsi, the funny thing about "Avenue Q" was that "Nicky" was straight and "Rod" was closeted ("My Girlfriend Who Lives in Canada") with a secret thing for Nicky.
I'm kind of more interested in the platonic man love that's showing up on TV these days, i.e. JD and Turk, House and Wilson, Ted and Barney, Michael and Dwight, etc. Fun stuff.

Jenny P Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 02:22 PM EST

John-

Odo wasn't gay! HE LOVED KIRA HELLO.

I think Ando from Heroes is definitely bi-curious. But you could say that about any side-kick, really. Who has that kind of devotion if they're not harboring some deep, shameful feelings?

bluenote Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 02:08 PM EST

Stewie Griffin (Family Guy) (but that's not a surprise!)

Facts of Life Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 02:06 PM EST

Natalie and Jo

Stephanie T. Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 01:52 PM EST

Sideshow Bob's brother (because David Hyde Pierce is gay).

Brain-Pinky and the Brain

Space Ghost

Brak

Huckleberry Hound

Snagglepuss

Squiddly Diddly

Peter Potomus

Ranger Smith

Vanity Smurf

Gargamel

Grover

The Koolaide Man

Timer (Time for a Timer

OG Readmore

Wishbone

Barney

Any character played by Brent Spinner

Mark-Lynn Baker

Uncle Arthur- Bewitched

Scooter from The Muppets

Cousin Oliver

Scar from The Lion King

You can't say Alice because she eventually hooked up with Sam the Butcher.

Stephen Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 01:42 PM EST

Ken. 40 years with Barbie and no marriage? Suspicious..

John Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 01:37 PM EST

How about any character played by Rene Auberjonois?

John Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 01:35 PM EST

I haven't read all the posts, so forgive me if these have already been posted. First off, there's all the men on Gilligan's Island, hello? Nobody ever hooks up? Mr. Howell was married, but he was the prissiest of the all!
Next up is a slew of household help. Didn't anyone ever wonder why they didn't have families of their own?
Alice from Brady Bunch, Mr. French from Family Affair, Mr. Belvedere, uncle Charley from My Three Sons, the list goes on and on...

Celeste Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 01:26 PM EST

C-3PO/R2-D2
Remus/Sirius
Felix Gaeta (BSG)

Fresh Prince Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 01:23 PM EST

Carlton Banks! Who else wears argyle?

Going to Hell Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 01:21 PM EST

Mr. Rogers? The sweaters, the loafers, the gentle singing...

Strepsi Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 01:21 PM EST

Oh Anna you are so right, Lupin and Sirius are a lovely couple! And Tonks should have ended up with a hot Veela. And let's not forget Dobby!

ALSO TRAPPED IN THE CLOSET
Chewbacca (unrequited Solo-love)
Mickey Mouse
E.T.
Lt. Dan in Forrest Gump
Twiki and Dr. Theopolis
Milhouse
Sideshow Bob
Lt. Felix Gaeta in Battlestar Galactica
President Laura Roslin in Battlestar Galactica
Feyd Harkonnen
SpongeBob and Patrick
Cheetah
Odo in Star Trek, Clayton Runnymede Endicott III in Benson, Chef Louis in The Little Mermaid, and every other character ever played by Rene Auberjonois.

DawnLD Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 01:19 PM EST

How about Statler and Waldorf, the two old guys from the Muppets?!

Kraig Rasool Tue, Oct 23, 2007 at 01:06 PM EST

We must not forget two of my childhood characters that graced my television..... Dr. Smith from Lost in Space who continuely complained 'The Pain...The Pain"...and the boy in HR Punfinstuff who had a talking flute and was being chased by the clumsy witch...