Heat-packing velociraptors and other signs of fourquel suckage

Lori Wed, Aug 15, 2007 at 03:43 PM EST

Scotto wrote: "Live Free Or Die Hard" easily trounced the third film in that series, which sucked so badly that I have blocked its title and most everything about it from my memory.

Are you kidding me??! Die Hard With a Vengence is my favorite of the three! I've watched it easily 10x more than the others. DH2 wasn't the best IMO. That said, I loved DH4. Did not disappoint on any levels!

dap Wed, Aug 15, 2007 at 12:18 AM EST

Jurassic Park IV won't be complete unless one of the dinosaurs chomps on a cigar and wears a bandana or something equally as jaunty...ooo and criss-crossing bandoliers just like Chewbacca!

Maeve Tue, Aug 14, 2007 at 06:54 PM EST

I'm with GeeMoney. Alien 4 SUCKED. Winona Ryder? Basketball? What? Not to mention the fact that a dog dies, which ruins any movie for me.

Jen Tue, Aug 14, 2007 at 05:10 PM EST

I actually think the 3rd was a big improvement over The Lost World. Part 4 might not be so bad

Valerie Tue, Aug 14, 2007 at 12:42 PM EST

You forgot Harry Potter 4. That one was good ! But yeah... Indiana Jones will probably be the one to rule them all !

nathan Tue, Aug 14, 2007 at 12:04 PM EST

this is either gonna be one of the best action sci-fi movies ever made or an unbelievable pile of steaming dino poop. At least Cuba Gooding's not in it, so there's at least some hope.

GeeMoney Tue, Aug 14, 2007 at 12:04 PM EST

Oh yeah, and "Jordan", the guy who said that Batman and Robin was better than Batman Forever and had the nerve to say ANYTHING negative about Val Kilmer, should be shot and killed for saying, not to mention, thinking that! Oh, lord. What has the world come to if someone actually liked Batman and Robin!?!?!?!?!??!!?? Oh, the humanity, the humanity of it all!!!!

GeeMoney Tue, Aug 14, 2007 at 12:01 PM EST

Don't forget about Alien: Resurection. That movie wasn't too good. I'm going to go out on a limb and say T4 is going to be good, even though it hasn't come out yet. I have faith since the first 3 were good. Bring back Arnold!

FunkyRedrum Tue, Aug 14, 2007 at 11:46 AM EST

I hope this movie won't be as craptastic as it sounds because John Sayles is penning it. He rocks! Don't disappoint me, John!

Hello Tue, Aug 14, 2007 at 08:53 AM EST

Rocky IV!! I just don't know what it is, but I never get tired of that one. The music, the fighting, the speech- all great.

One of my favortie clips from Famliy Guy is the one where Brian & Stewie does a spoof of the "Hearts on Fire" workout montage. I got way too excited when I saw it.

graeme Tue, Aug 14, 2007 at 08:49 AM EST

Laura Dern is hard for work? Yeah right. She's one of the best actresses around (check out "Inland Empire"). Clearly she needs to make a paycheque to be able to continue to do great indie work.
And, I'll happily see her in JP again. She was my favorite actor in the original.

Court Tue, Aug 14, 2007 at 07:40 AM EST

That is really old news...like 2004? (the dinos with guns part, not the Laura Dern part) I thought they scrapped that already? Please don't ruin my childhood anymore, thanks. JP3 was terrible enough.

furry_tom Tue, Aug 14, 2007 at 07:26 AM EST

If you go back to some of the series from the 30's and 40's you'll find some part fours that were pretty decent. "The Shadow of the Thin Man" and "Sherlock Holmes and the Secret Weapon" are both good flicks.

darrin Tue, Aug 14, 2007 at 01:44 AM EST

jurassic park 3 wasn't awful but the ending seemed rushed and sudden. i do like the idea of all the actors from the first one being in their own individual sequels in the series. they will have to do something different to bring people in though. gun toting dinos though might not be it. wasn't there a toy line series of some kind at one time where the dinosaurs wore weapons??

Tony Tue, Aug 14, 2007 at 12:33 AM EST

Laura Dern in Jurassic Park IV? Brilliant! I totally get it now. Each of the main characters of the original JP are getting their own exclusive sequel in the franchise... Jeff Goldblum in JP2, Sam Neil in JP3... and those two meddling kids are gonna headline JP5!

Dave Mon, Aug 13, 2007 at 11:25 PM EST

Live Free or Die Hard was good (and, hello, Die Hard with a Vengeance kicked ass!), Rocky IV is classic (he symbolically beat the crap out of communism people, come on!), and Star Trek IV is also worthy. Superman IV was just plain bad and Batman and Robin was abominably terrible (ice to meet you!). I think Indy 4 will be great, and I'm secretly kinda spazzing out about the prospect of dinos with guns wreaking havoc.

Ceballos Mon, Aug 13, 2007 at 09:38 PM EST

Eh...i'm not sure if "Goblet of Fire" is a true fourquel because it's just part four in a planned series (as opposed to it being a misguided attempt to cash in on a fading franchise, as it usually the case).

By that criteria, it's clearly Rocky IV! You have James Brown singing "Living in America", a classic training montage, Dolph Lundgren at the height of his powers and Rocky's brilliant "if i can change, and you can change, everyone can change" speech.

Brettatouille Mon, Aug 13, 2007 at 07:14 PM EST

Goblet of Fire is a great choice, and Thunderball would be my definite fave, though I'm still partial to Alien: Resurrection. I know it's kind of divisive among fans of the series, but it's stylistically unique, has the great cast of characters from Jeunet's films, and at the very least it doesn't feel like it was made for some corporate shill to make a quick buck on a movie that might as well be direct-to-DVD. (I'm talking to you, Alien vs. Predator)

CV Mon, Aug 13, 2007 at 07:08 PM EST

Star Trek IV? That has to be on the list.

Snarf. Mon, Aug 13, 2007 at 06:50 PM EST

No.

Brandie Mon, Aug 13, 2007 at 06:33 PM EST

I agree. Rocky IV KICKS ASS! The Russian is a hottie and Brigette Nelson is ice cold. WAAAY better than Rocky III.

sarah Mon, Aug 13, 2007 at 06:13 PM EST

Oh, yeah, and Laura Dern must be pretty hard up for work these days. I guess she spends too much time in trees...

sarah Mon, Aug 13, 2007 at 06:12 PM EST

I remember reading an article a looong time ago that suggested Kiera Knightley was attached to Jurassic Park 4...I guess (and kind of hope) that fell through.

Anyways, You know it's only a matter of time until Disney comes out with Cinderella 4, and it will add to the "fourquel suckage" too.

But, as for a fourquel that isn't terrible, I have to agree that Lethal Weapon 4 is completely elevated by Chris Rock. I mean when he talks about losing his cell phone, it's pretty hilarious.

David Mon, Aug 13, 2007 at 06:10 PM EST

That's actually been a rumour for...well, right after JP3 was released. I remember a supposed "script review" surfacing on Ain't It Cool News years ago, talking about genetically hybrid dinos with guns. The cool thing was that allegedly opened with pteranadons (the flying ones) appearing at a Little League game!

graeme Mon, Aug 13, 2007 at 06:02 PM EST

Yeah that just seems too weird to be true.
Who cares? Laura Dern is finally back in the series. I'll be there.
Here's hoping they get a better director than Joe Johnston this time around.

Kaoru Mon, Aug 13, 2007 at 05:47 PM EST

Come on...Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home was *awesome*. Great plot (save the humpback wales + time travel!), great comedy (Scotty talking into a computer mouse), and lots of great sci-fi (let's sling-shot around the sun to travel back in time!). Anyway, it's my favourite Star Trek movie and I'm insulted that the franchise was totally ignored.

daisyj Mon, Aug 13, 2007 at 05:39 PM EST

I am, at this moment, down on my knees (figuratively, anyway) praying to whatever god is available that this is true, because c'mon, dinosaurs with guns? So. Freakin'. Awesome.

Scotto Mon, Aug 13, 2007 at 05:32 PM EST

"Live Free Or Die Hard" easily trounced the third film in that series, which sucked so badly that I have blocked its title and most everything about it from my memory.

Paul Ketz Mon, Aug 13, 2007 at 05:26 PM EST

How about Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire? I liked that movie and it was as good as the previous films.

jordan Mon, Aug 13, 2007 at 05:15 PM EST

Isn't "Batman & Robin" considered a fourquel? I actually thought it was better than "Batman Forever" with the non-expressive Val Kilmer and the double- whammy crazy guys Two-Face and Riddler.

jill Mon, Aug 13, 2007 at 05:10 PM EST

I'm with you Conor. That was the first one I thought of. Plus where else can you hear very bad Russian accents?

"If he dies, he dies."

Ben Mon, Aug 13, 2007 at 05:10 PM EST

I'd argue that Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire is the best movie in the series and best fourqual of all....

conor Mon, Aug 13, 2007 at 05:03 PM EST

Come on, Rocky IV?! It has Bridgette Nielson and an actor playing Gorbachev. It is so bad that it is amazing.

Jarett Mon, Aug 13, 2007 at 05:02 PM EST

Is it just me? I always thought that dinosaurs' god-given razor sharp teeth, switch-blade claws and gargantuan proportions were more intimidating than a gun! Plus, how do they get their non-opposable thumbs to hold the gun and pull the trigger????

Raven_Moon Mon, Aug 13, 2007 at 04:56 PM EST

Wow, I hope the rumors about Jurrassic Park aren't true. That's sounds absolutely dreadful.

As for good "foruquels," I rather liked "Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire." Although, "Prisoner of Azkaban" remains my favorite of the series.