'Age of Love': Fun times in the forest
Jul 25, 2007, 06:16 PM | by Chris Schonberger
Categories: Reality TV
You know it's going to be a good camping trip when everyone
starts drinking red wine before erecting the tents. Monday night's booze-fueled
throwdown in the forest was like a National Geographic special, but with less
droopy boobs. Needless to say, it was the best episode to date.
I'm not sure where exactly Mark and the girls set up camp, but I sensed a sort of Native American mysticism permeating the surroundings. The Poo's wooded love fortress may have been a bit Peter Pan-meets-Boogie Nights, but the crumbling stone circle where he held court for eliminations was clearly a place of deep spiritual significance. No negative energy could enter the ancient enclosure — so Chief Serves and Volleys never summoned the manipulative Jayanna, who has suffered the greatest fall from grace since Sumthin' soiled Flavor Flav's carpet. She may have packed the toilet paper, but it was the Poo that ended up wiping her off the show, if you catch my drift.
Anyway, Jayanna's treachery was not the only thing exposed on Monday's vision quest. After the jump, a few other revelations ...
"Truth is truth" Feminism is no longer just about burning bras and telling men that they should be more helpful around the house. No, no, no! According to Maria, empowering women now involves signing up for a reality TV show in which you are referred to as a "cougar," taking enormous shots in the morning, and playing a hybrid edition of Spin-the-Bottle/Truth-or-Dare in the forest. If you think it's funny, she will make you cry: "Stop laughing at women. This isn’t a game. This is truth!" Did she mean truth as in Truth, or truth as in the opposite of "dare," within the context of the game Truth or Dare, which by nature of including Truth is more than a game? I didn't quite smell what Maria was cooking, but overall she appears highly circumspect and inarguably insane.
Amanda is an anthropomorphic Gray Wolf Like Remus Lupin, I think Amanda may literally be able to transform into a wolf, which as any Wikipedia reader knows is the cougar's fiercest competitor in nature. When she was looking for Mark and Jayanna, the producers flashed a brief shot of a wolf lurking in brush. Then they cut back to Amanda. That was not trick photography, people. That was a sign! And the way she staked out the Poo's tent was pure animal instinct. Of course, Mark didn't seem to mind, though it's unclear whether he was pitching his own tent within the tent. Sort of like a very rude Matryoshka doll ...
Getting blackout is not a good dating strategy Mark and Megan sitting in a tree, but she is W-A-S-T-E-D. The youngster will be gone next week. Pop the champagne and pour the tequila shots!
So ... truth or dare, PopWatchers! Did Jayanna deserve to be peaced out? Does Maria have a cunning game plan, or is she just a nutcase? Do you dare me to send in a question to Mark's live blog?
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