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Would you read a novel about Richard Belzer?

Jun 28, 2007, 06:00 AM | by Simon Vozick-Levinson

Categories: Books, Television

Belzer_l Veteran character actor Richard Belzer (Homicide: Life on the Street, Law & Order: SVU) might be coming soon to a bestseller list near you: Simon & Schuster just gave him a two-book deal, with the first volume slated to appear next fall. They're going to be mystery novels, and the protagonist in each tale will be... veteran character actor Richard Belzer. Huh?

It seems Belzer has considerably more in mind than your typical, formulaic procedural. His novels will imagine himself, the guy who plays a murder detective on TV, getting caught up in a series of actual crimes. (The title of the first one, naturally, is I Am Not A Cop.) Belzer was at no loss for words when it came to describing his literary vision. He told the AP that his influences include "Dashiell Hammett, Oscar Wilde, Lenny Bruce, and Robert Altman" — nice list! — and that readers should prepare to experience "the first 'reality novel' of the new millennium that explores a unique universe that poses the question, 'What is reality?'" Uh, right.

It all sounds something like a put-on, sure. But it also sounds halfway brilliant. Belzer's been among my favorite TV thespians since his glory days playing Det. John Munch on Homicide, where he laced his hard-boiled intensity with a cynical New Yorker's sense of humor. He's reprised the Munch role on what feels like 10,000 other shows over the ensuing decade; I'm still not tired of it, and I'm definitely looking forward to seeing a new spin on that same multilayered persona in print. (I'm actually a little disappointed that the novels aren't going to be straight-up narrated by Munch.) Plus, I'm a sucker for any sly metafictional look at the entertainment biz, a la Chuck Barris' "unauthorized autobiography" Confessions of a Dangerous Mind or Spike Jonze's film Adaptation — which reminds me that the incomparable Charlie Kaufman, who wrote the screenplays for both Adaptation and the movie version of Confessions, could probably write a fantastic film treatment of I Am Not a Cop. And you know who'd star in that one.

So, PopWatchers, are you going to register your Amazon pre-orders for Belzer's new authorial adventure along with me? Are there other TV actors who you think ought to write surreal, self-referential novels?

pmquot uvlftebrp Mon, Feb 25, 2008 at 04:06 PM EST

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Rebecca B. Thu, Jun 28, 2007 at 04:36 PM EST

I actually enjoyed his book "UFOs, JFK, and Elvis," in which he discusses all the fun conspiracies the government is running. He's a good read, so I'd probably check out whatever comes next.

EP Sato Thu, Jun 28, 2007 at 03:09 PM EST

"Budda you fat Bastard"

Furry_tom you're spot on. Belzer's got potential after all.

wagonmaker Thu, Jun 28, 2007 at 02:50 PM EST

Absolutely. I've loved him since his radio show on WNBC-AM back in the 70s.

furry_tom Thu, Jun 28, 2007 at 01:27 PM EST

Belzer was a comedian, so it isn't surprising that he admires Lenny Bruce. It's nothing great, certainly not in the same league as Bruce, but he's not as bad as some 80's stand-ups I've seen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpSs18Yr2PQ

Cyandra Thu, Jun 28, 2007 at 01:19 PM EST

Yes, I would. I love him as "Munch" on L&O: SVU!

EP Sato Thu, Jun 28, 2007 at 10:36 AM EST

I always get him confused with Pete Coyote. And to claim Lenny Bruce as an influence? It means the brother better be on his game man. Bruce was very witty, fast paced and easy to read.

Can Belzer talk dirty and still influence people?

BHM1304 Thu, Jun 28, 2007 at 10:11 AM EST

If anyone remembers the show "Hot Properties" - they know what a genius Belzer is. He seems like an intelligent guy and he was such an excellent comedian I'm interested in reading more of his work.

Ceballos Thu, Jun 28, 2007 at 10:09 AM EST

Cool...thanks for the heads-up.

furry_tom Thu, Jun 28, 2007 at 09:15 AM EST

Actually, Creed does have a blog:
http://blog.nbc.com/CreedThoughts/

It's not like Dwight's. It's more like a series of one-liners.
"Screw parasailing, man. Make the handicapped sail like the rest of us."

Ceballos Thu, Jun 28, 2007 at 09:01 AM EST

I'd actually go with one of Wilson's co-stars.


I was slightly disappointed toward the end of the latest season of "The Office" that Creed Bratton's blog/Word document wasn't a real thing.


I'd love to read his thoughts and read about his adventures in novel form.

furry_tom Thu, Jun 28, 2007 at 07:45 AM EST

So it's going to be a more pretentious version of Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way?
I'd really like to read Rainn Wilson's meta-fictional autobiography. He's kidnapped by a Colombian beat cartel, stripped to the waist and forced to rassle a bear.

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