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Help NBC cast its 'Breasts'!

Jun 20, 2007, 04:53 PM | by Michael Slezak

Categories: Television

Cata_l No, I will not get my mind out of the gutter — it was never there to begin with, PopWatchers. The above headline is a reference to the Colombian telenovela Sin tetas no hay paraiso (or, Without Breasts There Is No Paradise), the rights to which new NBC chief Ben Silverman purchased last week. (Way to put the 'bra' in 'brash,' dood!)

Anyhow, while the show's plotline sounds like an exercise in deliciously trashy camp — an impoverished woman becomes a prostitute and gets involved with a narcotics dealer in her quest to save enough money for breast augmentation — should we really leave it to network brass (look, another 'bra' word!) to cast what could wind up being the next great serialized drama? Of course not! That's why it's up to all of us to start the brainstorming process. For the titular (sorry) heroine, how about Oscar-nominated Catalina Sandino Moreno (pictured), who hasn't quite blown up in the wake of Maria Full of Grace like one might've expected? Or, if the producers don't want such an obviously glamorous choice, maybe they could coerce Once and Again's fabulous Julia Whelan back to the small screen? As the villainous paramour, I'd like to see Emmy-nominated Steve Harris (The Practice), and, naturally, there's got to be a role for the sadly underemployed Yasmine Bleeth, perhaps as an aging call girl who agrees to show our heroine the ropes. (Don't act like you didn't just get a little lightheaded with excitement.) Are you with me PopWatchers, or do you have a better group of actors to make Breasts stand out?

Allie Wed, Nov 7, 2007 at 10:42 PM EST

haha Brandon, I agree with you! The fact that people in the industry still remember Julia Whelan's amazingness on Once and Again makes me so happy. Every young castmember on there was amazing, but it seems that Evan gets all the attention. She was WONDERFUl, but Julia was just as good!

Chandler24 Tue, Jul 3, 2007 at 03:59 AM EST

Sure, Bleeth should be back on TV, but not in this show. And i don't think she's purposely forgotten. That't her own decission to be out of work.

Brandon Fri, Jun 22, 2007 at 03:06 PM EST

OK, the shout out for Julia Whelan and 'Once and Again' totally just made my day.

Jenn67 Thu, Jun 21, 2007 at 01:52 PM EST

Picture it: The cast of Will & Grace...Debra Messing is the girl. Let's face it, she is totally hypomammiferous. It would be believable. Sean Hayes is the dealer, while Megan Mullaly could be the aging call girl with a salty sense of humor...and Eric McCormack? Well...um...he could be the gay friend. The title? Well "JUST JUGS" of course! I smell a hit!!

GeeMoney Thu, Jun 21, 2007 at 11:28 AM EST

I give the show 3 episodes before they cancel it.

http://amwt.blogspot.com

GeeMoney Thu, Jun 21, 2007 at 11:22 AM EST

I give the show 3 episodes before they cancel it.

http://amwt.blogspot.com

Not even surprised anymore Thu, Jun 21, 2007 at 10:40 AM EST

I re-read this posting three times because I thought I was halucinating.
All I can say is
BOOO!!!! HISS! BOOO
Lets re-name it Tits and get it over with. We sure have come a long way, baby.

KingLouieXVIII Thu, Jun 21, 2007 at 10:18 AM EST

I disagree with the casting of the lovely and classy Catalina Sandino Moreno as well. What's wrong with you Slezak? True she has not blown up after her Oscar nominated turn in MARIA FULL OF GRACE, but that's because she's chosen small, art-house projects. Later this year she will appear in the highly-anticipated, Oscar-buzzed LOVE IN TIMES OF CHOLERA with Javier Bardem. But first up will be her starring turn in the Ethan Hawke adaptation of his novel, THE HOTTEST STATE. Personally, I hope she sticks with more prestigious film roles b/c this show sounds truly awful.

UGLY BETTY's success is a fluke. It's difficult to adapt shows like these into English television b/c the style of comedy varies so much from culture to culture.

junior Thu, Jun 21, 2007 at 10:04 AM EST

Michael, this description: "an impoverished woman becomes a prostitute and gets involved with a narcotics dealer in her quest to save enough money for breast augmentation" should have been followed by "No."

Marnie Thu, Jun 21, 2007 at 07:55 AM EST

thank you Stephanie T... I was just coming in to tell Slezak that Ms. Bleeth is not "sadly underemployed" but "purposely forgotten."

and actingup... it doesn't set women basck about 50 years... it reflects on some of the issues that people who want more female progress are afraid to admit exists because it would only show that even women are willing to sacrifice their dignity for a bite to eat. Now, I'm not saying that they should. I'm just saying that some are.

Howard Thu, Jun 21, 2007 at 07:51 AM EST

I gotta think they'll be changing the title. Anyone wanna start that one off? How 'bout "The New Girls"?

GingerCat Thu, Jun 21, 2007 at 07:50 AM EST

This show sounds beyond horrible. Here's hoping Catalina wouldn't lower herself to that level.

EP Sato Thu, Jun 21, 2007 at 06:57 AM EST

So, NBC is cashing in on the "Betty la fea" trend by making another novella into English? If so, why not choose a bigger hit?

Funny, that Ceballos mentioned Vergara. Thanks to seeing her re appear in Entourage this weekend,I totally thought of her. But agreed entirely that this woman's too curvy for a role that requires a cute but "Pole"-like actress.

Now, even though I can't figure out what actress to use, can they still keep Vanessa Williams as the villain? She's not on tv enough right now...

Lori Wed, Jun 20, 2007 at 11:21 PM EST

heh heh heh - "brainstorming" is also a "bra" word

beelkay Wed, Jun 20, 2007 at 06:49 PM EST

Can we work Raquel Welch and Lauren Hutton in there?

Stephanie T. Wed, Jun 20, 2007 at 06:42 PM EST

Bleeth is underemployed for a reason. Actually a bunch of reasons that add up to one. How many times has she been arrested for DWI? Come on.

Catalina would make sense, so would Javier Bardiem and smoking French actor Oliver Martinez.

actingup Wed, Jun 20, 2007 at 06:07 PM EST

This sounds like misogynistic junk. Way to set women back about 50 years NBC.

Ceballos Wed, Jun 20, 2007 at 05:05 PM EST

I was thinking that Sofia Vergara (Knights of Prosperity, the Entourage season premiere) would be perfect for this...until I read the part about the character saving up money for breast augmentation...if you've ever seen Sofia Vergara, you know that would be kinda ridiculous.


So that's out...I like the Catalina Sandina Moreno choice. Also, if Roselyn Sanchez vanished from "Without a Trace", would anyone REALLY notice?

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