Summer School: Movie Theater Etiquette Refresher

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roujin Sat, Oct 11, 2008 at 10:29 AM EST

i hate people that r in the movie theater and ther like 2 rows behind u and your chrying 2 wach the movie but they wont shut up and its so annoying p.s what would u do about this reson if u wore waching a movie and the people behind u wont shut up what would u do ?

roujin Sat, Oct 11, 2008 at 10:29 AM EST

i hate people that r in the movie theater and ther like 2 rows behind u and your chrying 2 wach the movie but they wont shut up and its so annoying p.s what would u do about this reson if u wore waching a movie and the people behind u wont shut up what would u do ?

Dan Wed, Dec 26, 2007 at 03:57 PM EST

As a former theater worker, I have about a million rulesI could add. But here are just a few that I have off the top of my head...

- No, just because you paid x amount of dollars to get in, your DO NOT have the "right" stay in the theater with your screaming/crying baby.

- If you're coming to see a popular/sold-out movie, you're NOT special enough to be able to sit inside the lobby while everyone else who wants to see your movie has to stand outside in the huge line.

- If you're caught theater-hopping, don't lie to the usher and say that you "threw away the tickets." Who purposely throws away their tickets?!

- Don't complain to the guy/girl selling your food about the high food prices. THEY DON'T MAKE THE PRICES!

- It's already gross enough to change your baby's diaper during the movie. At least have the courtesy to refrain from leaving the dirty diaper on the floor.

And finally.. HAVE SEX AT HOME!

boink Fri, Nov 23, 2007 at 04:45 PM EST

Children ages 2-3 is OK to watch kids ' movies that would fit their level of thinking. Toddlers of that age now-a-days can appreciate their own kind of movies too. Movie theaters are also for families. This is the modern times. Let's face it. Children are children, and we were children once. As long as they're not in a NOT-FOR-CHILDREN kind of movies and they're not extremely disruptive, I don't think that they should be kept away from theaters. I still believe that many parents just want to spend time with their children and feels that it's also their time together as a family. There are movies that are made for toddlers too, so please give them a break... the parents and the children.

Katie Sun, Nov 18, 2007 at 10:45 PM EST

To the Craig guy - It's really disrespectful to throw your trash on the floor. Workers don't make you buy it, so don't use that as an excuse. It just shows your disgusting habits.

deb-O-rah Sat, Jun 2, 2007 at 07:42 AM EST

I agree with everybody's suggestions. The unfortunate thing is the inconsiderate a-holes who do this stuff won't pay attention. I'm glad to see I'm not the only advocate of getting a babysitter or staying the hell home. I'm tired of people who have kids ruining theatres and restaurants and then expecting me to just deal with it.

Craig Wed, May 16, 2007 at 03:37 PM EST

To Jennifer, the lowly theater worker: Didn't you see Jerry Seinfeld at the Oscars this year? When you pay $5 for a bag of popcorn and another $5 for a soda, both of which cost pennies to produce, you have the right to drop them on the floor when you are done!

Stacey Mon, May 14, 2007 at 03:07 PM EST

I agree with whoever said "go get an usher" when people are being unbelievably rude, but I think that needs to be amended to "find a manager". The managers are more likely to kick someone out. I know from experience. I take great glee in getting rude people kicked out of theaters - gabbing teenagers, crying babies, fussing children, people who provide running commentary on the film, seat kickers. I've even gotten applause from fellow moviegoers before. You get one warning - after that, no mercy. I recommend designating an official manager-getter in your party before the movie starts - it's very efficient.

Devan Sat, May 12, 2007 at 01:31 PM EST

Listen up Slurpee guy, and you know who you are. Your drink is noisy, your noisy, and for the love of god stop smacking your drink on your cup holder to move the drink around so you can sluuuuuuuuuurrrpppppp noisly. I don't want to hear the slurpee and the rest of the the theater doesn't want to hear it, so forget even buying it. 7/11 should have kept the slurppee sensation in their stores and not brought them to the movie theater.

Fri, May 11, 2007 at 03:14 PM EST

You just spent $10 to see the movie. If you're not watching it, then what are you doing there in the first place? Go to the mall instead and annoy people for free!

Alan Fri, May 11, 2007 at 12:53 PM EST

Eating popcorn is a noisy activity, but for the love of god... chew with you mouth closed!

No Brand Woman Fri, May 11, 2007 at 09:30 AM EST

1. Do not sit in the theater and text with your cell phone. It's just as annoying as if you sat there and talked at it through the movie because the light-up screen is like a blinding light in the eyes of the person sitting behind you. (this has happened to me that past 2 times I've been to the theater) This will result in me kicking your seat.
2. I don't care how great little Billy is and how quickly he's learning to read in kindergarten, do NOT bring your kid to a subtitled film! (This happened to me during Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Kid right behind me, started to READ THE SCREEN, parents shushed him, he got bored and decided to kick the back of my seat during the rest of the film!)

BTW, if you see the Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie, there's a great heavy metal song at the very beginning about not being a jerk in the theater. Too bad the theater I was in was filled with people who apparently weren't paying attention to the song...

bud Fri, May 11, 2007 at 06:43 AM EST

I'm lucky enough with my job to be able to go to the movies in the afternoons. if I wasn't this lucky I don't think I would go. Rude people make me crazy. I dread the summer season because school is out and kids are rude. The first time I go to the movies in Sept. after school starts is one of the happiest feelings I'll ever know.

SithMenace Fri, May 11, 2007 at 03:53 AM EST

One simple soltion for all of this: bring back the age of the ushers. If the theaters would spend the extra 7 dollars per hour per screen to have an usher present through the entire movie, they would easily increase their profits from repeat business. In the meantime, do yourself a favor and don't go on opening weekend. As much as I want to see the movie, I wait until the weekend after.

And to the guy that said don't sit in front of short people, get real. If you're that short, go out of your way to find a theater with stadium seating or bring some phone books. I won't sit in front of a kid, but I'm not going to size up every person I consider sitting in front of.

rebecca Thu, May 10, 2007 at 09:47 PM EST

Screaming babies! They should be taken outside immediately as they are not going to calm down. Better yet they should not have been in the movie to begin with.

Oh, and when parents bring their young children to a movie that the kids cannot understand and keep having to explain the entire movie to the kid who keeps asking "why?"

UGH!

Rebecca Thu, May 10, 2007 at 06:21 PM EST

Shove off, aye! I paid for my seat...if nobody is sitting there...I'm all good! Why shouldn't I be able to put my feet up????

Rebecca Thu, May 10, 2007 at 05:51 PM EST

Shove off, aye! I paid for my seat...if nobody is sitting there...I'm all good!

LaRochelle89 Thu, May 10, 2007 at 05:09 PM EST

1. No eating taco salad in a screachy styrofoam container during the movie.
2. No laser pointer wars during the poignant scenes in Saving Private Ryan.
3. No middle schoolers allowed in The Holiday or any movie I venture to see with the general public.
4. If the person in front of me opens their phone and blinds me with the light I WILL kick the sh** out of their chair.

LisaMama Thu, May 10, 2007 at 04:41 PM EST

A hearty "DITTO" to Jennifer about cleaning up your own trash. The floor is not a garbage can -- at a theater or a ball park or anywhere in public! Please, be courteous!

redgie Thu, May 10, 2007 at 04:33 PM EST

i saw little children with a stroller beside me and a little girl no more than 6months sleeping in it. i tried to move it a bit so i can get to my seat, and a lady about 8 flights up said "excuse me that's my baby". halfway thru the movie the baby started crying. the woman tried to rock it to sleep along the aisle. this happened several times. when the baby fell asleep, she put it inside the stroller and asked me if i can keep an eye on it!!
what a horrible parent!!

Jennifer Thu, May 10, 2007 at 04:30 PM EST

Scratch that: THE singularly most annoying thing.

Jennifer Thu, May 10, 2007 at 04:28 PM EST

As a former lowly theater worker, I have to say singularly most annoying thing in the world is cleaning up everyone's crap. It's one thing if a bit of popcorn spills on the floor, it's another thing entirely when it's as though someone dumped an entire tub all over the friggin' place. And leaving said tub on the floor (to complement the already impressive collection of other snack wrappers, I s'pose) is freaking rude as well. Is it really that difficult to pick your shtuff up and toss it in a trash can? Oh, and if the movie sucked, don't ask for your money back after having seen the whole thing.

Jen Thu, May 10, 2007 at 04:27 PM EST

A disturbing trend I've noticed in the last five or so years is that while theater patrons get more and more rude, the theater employees get younger and less willing to confront the a**holes or kick them out for disturbing everyone. They'd rather let the jerk keep being a jerk and offer you your ticket price back if you complain about it. My boyfriend and I hardly ever go to movies anymore because it's inevitable that someone's going to talk through the movie or loudly make out with their partner or just generally be a nuisance...and when you call them on it, they actually get mad at YOU for disturbing THEM! It sucks to have your night ruined like that, so we just stay home and watch the movie on DVD a few months later. I hate that I've become so cynical about the general public, but that's just how it goes I suppose.

redgie Thu, May 10, 2007 at 04:14 PM EST

-no kids below 3 in the theater!! i dont care if its a kids movie- they wont sit still for two hours.
-if your kid wont stop crying, take it outside! dont make the rest of us put up with it!
i saw spiderman 3, and there were screaming babies on all 4 corners of the theater. people were asking the parents to take the kid outside but they wouldnt. it was insane!

Cara Thu, May 10, 2007 at 03:37 PM EST

I say, no kicking the seat in front of you ever, even if it's empty! Rows of seats are all connected, and anyone anywhere in that row feels like you're kicking them in the back!

And no feet up on the back of the seat -- someone's going to put their head there, dude.

And SHUT UP!!!!

T.L. Thu, May 10, 2007 at 03:24 PM EST

It's been said before, but needs to be said again: cell phone/PDA screens are BRIGHTER then the movie screen, so TURN THEM OFF, morons! Even checking voicemail should be forbidden -- we can hear the squawking over your cell phone, dummies!

Movie Buff Thu, May 10, 2007 at 03:22 PM EST

I get annoyed when I hear people eating their popcorn or opening candy during the movie.

Jess Thu, May 10, 2007 at 03:07 PM EST

Another comment: if you are a childless adult, please do not pick a fight with children who are saving seats for their parents, who are no doubt standing in the concessions line buying them treats. They are saving seats for their parents, so don't give them a hard time.

Lori Thu, May 10, 2007 at 03:06 PM EST

Toddlers/small children at movies are so distracting. If they aren't terrified by the movie, they're bored silly and can't sit still. I had a movie ruined by a "quiet" child who was walking up and down the row constantly because she was bored stiff.

I think theatres should refuse to sell child tickets to R rated movies. But they don't. I have found that if I complain after the movie, I usually get a free movie pass. If enough of us did this, they would stop because they would lose more on the free passes than they make on selling the child tickets.

ceej Thu, May 10, 2007 at 02:51 PM EST

Bringing babies to loud, dark theaters is reckless endangerment, I say. Do these parents care about their child's hearing?

ceej Thu, May 10, 2007 at 02:47 PM EST

And if thou art really tall (over 5'10") and in a non-stadium theater, thou shalt avoid sitting directly in front of someone who appears short then thou art, especially if there art empty seats adjacent to yours.

Ep Sato Thu, May 10, 2007 at 02:47 PM EST

Kids is one thing, but babies (that means under age 5) is another. Most movie theaters have weekend showings specifically made for parents with babies. That's okay with me because everyone expects the noise. Same thing with matinee screenings of kids movies. I don't expect the 3 PM showing of Shrek on a Saturday to be quiet, but DO expect the 9 PM screening to be relatively nuissance free.

ceej Thu, May 10, 2007 at 02:45 PM EST

When you need to pass by someone who is seated, please say "Excuse me" to let them know you need to get by. Do NOT just EXPECT them to see you coming and instantly JUMP out of their chair to let you thru. Just like some people just expect you to 'step off' the curb when they are coming your way...

And if you step on their foot, say "Sorry." I will save you a serious ass kicking.

Chuck_A Thu, May 10, 2007 at 02:11 PM EST

This is addressed to all of the ridiculous prudes bitching about bringing kids to a horror film (and I'm not talking about babies). We are not created equally as some kids can take it and some adults can't. Realize that in some places broadcast TV displays movies uncut (without our silly regulations) and their kids grow up just fine.
I am a parent (my daughter being 22 now) and have known full well what she has been capable of watching throughout the years and what she couldn't.
I've been watching horror movies since I was 4 (and have attended movies with my parents since 8) so keep in mind that we're all different.

maxpurr9 Thu, May 10, 2007 at 02:09 PM EST

LEAVE THE BABIES AT HOME!!!!!!!

ryan's mom Thu, May 10, 2007 at 02:06 PM EST

Yes! And I want to add :
Do not kick my seat
Do not grab my headreat like you are accustomed to doing when I am forced to fly coach. I do not want whiplash or my hair pulled. Frankly if you do not have the balance to navigate a theatre aisle, then you should be at yoga class instead of getting up for more snacksat a movie.

melissa Thu, May 10, 2007 at 02:01 PM EST

I agree with the no-kicking and Vicky's mention of no huffiness. During Spider-Man 3 the guy behind me started to occasionally emit short but loud sighs. I don't know if it was because he didn't like the movie but if so, I wish he would've just left instead of distracting me.

ZE Thu, May 10, 2007 at 01:59 PM EST

I can abide people talking occasionally (i.e. the aforementioned “bathroom explanation” rule) but people, please realize, just because you’re WHISPERING doesn’t mean I can’t hear you. And learn the secret sign language of theatres, too. If someone in front of you keeps turning their head swiftly back and to the side, that means you’re too frakking loud, OK? Oh, and no one (with the possible exception of your cat) finds laser pointers entertaining. This does not make you clever or rebellious, it makes you a d*ckwad.

Oh, and afreakingmen on the kids at movies. If I go see Shrek or Harry Potter, I expect overstimulated children hopped up on Milk Duds. But kids don’t belong at 10:30pm showings of The Matrix, which I once witnessed. The poor thing was all of 10 years old – and bolted up out of her seat and RAN OUT OF THE THEATRE when Neo was unplugged from his pod of goo.

Jen Thu, May 10, 2007 at 01:56 PM EST

My only comment (besides to agree with most of the ones mentioned) is that if you are going to see a movie with your kids, PLEASE do a little homework and find out what the movie is about first, especially if it is rated above your kid's age. I can't tell you how many times I've seen parents dragging their preteens out of PG-13 or R movies that had been rated properly. If your 12 year old tells you he wants to see the South Park movie or Team America or Borat, check it out before you go!

Marlie Thu, May 10, 2007 at 01:56 PM EST

I can't emphasize enough that if you arrive at the theatre late, you do not get to ask people to move over to accommodate your party. Really, with the actual movie these days starting a good 20 minutes after the posted time, how do you even get there that late?

I arrived on time. I chose my seat carefully. You arrived absurdly late. You do not get to ask me to move over. If you want to sit where I am sitting, get to the theatre before I do.

Sue Thu, May 10, 2007 at 01:55 PM EST

* Unless you're saving a seat for someone, do not go to an opening night or crowded screening and put your coat and bags on an empty seat simply because you don't want to be uncomfortable sitting with them behind your back/under your chair. Chairs are for people's butts, not your crap.

* If you get there early and sit on the aisle, expect to have to move for other people to get past you. A lot. And slightly shifting your knees is not making room - get up and let people past. If you don't like it, sit in the middle.

professor74 Thu, May 10, 2007 at 01:54 PM EST

I have one quibble and that is with rule #1. If a movie is bad, I believe heckling the screen can only enhance the experience. Constant talking is not good, but funny comments I think are okay.

I enjoyed the Avengers and Spiderman #3 only because of the snarky comments.

Jenn67 Thu, May 10, 2007 at 01:50 PM EST

I have had my last two movie going experiences interrupted by crying babies. LEAVE THEM HOME!

I used to go to premieres before children, then I missed about 7 - 8 years of them because I had kids and I got sitters or waited for DVD's, and now that I have teens, I finally go back to opening day showings. I paid my dues...go home and pay yours!

Houstonian Jen in Baltimore Thu, May 10, 2007 at 01:47 PM EST

Tweens and teenagers of America, mark my words: If you disturb my summer movie experiences in any way, I'm getting your butt kicked out of the theater. In other words:

*No Cell phone conversations in the theater

*Don't answer the phone to tell someone you'll call them back later. Just don't pick up the phone at all, they'll figure it out.

*Remember to turn off your ringer. THEY EVEN PRODUCE MINI-MOVIES TO REMIND YOU TO DO IT, FOOL!!!! I don't need to hear Young Jeezy during my movie.

*If you're sitting next to my mother or aunt, it ain't the time to have a make-out session. Have some respect for your elders, youngun'.

*If you want to chat with your girl/boy sitting next to you, take it out into the hall. We came to watch a movie.

*If you enjoy running in and out of the theater squealing and chuckling, make sure I'm not in the theater when you get your fix.

Please let me enjoy my summer movie experiences!

Thank you...

Adrienne Thu, May 10, 2007 at 01:45 PM EST

This a great list, and it should be posted in every theater for all to see. I pretty much agree with everyone else: 1) Do not kick the seat in front of you, and 2)Do NOT bring small children to the movie theater. They can't keep quiet and a crying child is the most annoying thing EVER.

t-bone Thu, May 10, 2007 at 01:42 PM EST

i hate it when you watch a movie with someone who has already seen it, and they feel the need to constantly say "okay, watch this part! watch this part!" yeah, because the whole rest of the time i was sitting here staring into my popcorn the whole time...

Hallie Thu, May 10, 2007 at 01:28 PM EST

You think it's bad at a movie theater? Try doing live theatre. For the audience, the annoyance level is about the same, but it's terrible being an actor onstage when the toddler is crying in the back and the teenage girls are snapping their gum and the two old ladies up front are whispering to each other. You just want to stop whatever line you're in the middle of and remind the audience that YOU CAN HEAR THEM!

Crystal Thu, May 10, 2007 at 01:26 PM EST

Cannot be said enough - DO NOT text or whatever electronic thing while the movie is playing. It may be silent, but your screen is very bright and distracting to EVERYONE sitting behind or next to you.
Drives me INSANE.

Nat X Thu, May 10, 2007 at 01:23 PM EST

NO KIDS! If you can't afford a babysitter for a few hours, you shouldn't be wasting your money on going to the movies. Stay home and watch TV. There was a 4 yr old in the theatre when I watched "Blair Witch Project." The kid screamed and cried the entire time, and the parents never bothered to think the movie might traumatize a 4 yr old. I hate people.

Winona Thu, May 10, 2007 at 01:18 PM EST

I completely agree with the whole infants thing. As a mother of an 8-month-old, this is the first summer movie season that I'm going to have to do some serious juggling with babysitters/family/etc. in order to see all the movies I'd like to this summer. But if not, I can always watch them on DVD at home in a few months' time.

Henry Thu, May 10, 2007 at 01:14 PM EST

Also would like to add that you shouldn't put in spoilers for the whole movie WHILE you're watching said movie. Think Homer Simpson after he saw Empire Strikes Back and yelled out the biggest secret of the entire movie ("Luke, I am your father").

Some fat jerkwad did this in front of me right before the big plot twist was revealed in The Sixth Sense. I wanted to eviscerate the guy right there. OTHER PEOPLE ARE WATCHING THE MOVIE FOR THE FIRST TIME! Don't ruin it for everyone else.

Ellipsian Thu, May 10, 2007 at 01:10 PM EST

I'll second (and third) the seat kicking. I don't care how motionless you plan on being, your feet don't belong on the seat in front of you (NO, not even if it's empty). LITERALLY everytime I go to the movies with my best friend, she is inevitibly placed in front of an exceedingly active Foot-On-Seat moron; then she has to regulate, which automatically makes her a b*tch. Go figure.

Henry Thu, May 10, 2007 at 01:09 PM EST

Okay, posting of the rules in cinemas worldwide, then. From the US to Canada to New Zealand! Ha!

SS Thu, May 10, 2007 at 01:08 PM EST

When I went to see Pan's Labrynth, there were parents with kids under 10 at the movie. Could not believe it especially with the amount of disturbing violence in the movie.

Jerry Mc Thu, May 10, 2007 at 01:08 PM EST

OH my god! Thank you soooo much for posting this. I have one to add: If you're using Bluetooth, please turn it off. The blinking, blue light is soooo distracting. I had this happen during a screening of the "300" and the woman I talked to acted outraged that I had asked her to turn it off! Luckily, a theater full of people backed me and she turned it off.

Jerry Mc Thu, May 10, 2007 at 01:08 PM EST

OH my god! Thank you soooo much for posting this. I have one to add: If you're using Bluetooth, please turn it off. The blinking, blue light is soooo distracting. I had this happen during a screening of the "300" and the woman I talked to acted outraged that I had asked her to turn it off! Luckily, a theater full of people backed me and she turned it off.

Vance Thu, May 10, 2007 at 01:05 PM EST

Henry, not just the United States but cinemas in Canada too (and you thought we were supposed to be "nicer"). Seriously, where have manners gone?

kevin Thu, May 10, 2007 at 01:01 PM EST

Infants should not be brought into movie theaters. I have made complaints to the management of my local theater about this in the past. I feel that it is cruel to the child, disrespectful to the other members of the audience and just plain lazy and careless of the parents who bring infants to the movies. Get a babysitter or don't go to the movies. When you start having children it is time to start making grown-up choices and sacrifices.

Vicky Thu, May 10, 2007 at 01:01 PM EST

If my one friend doesn't like a movie, she starts to get all huffy and moves around in her seat. She then decides to let everyone know she's bored. What she doesn't take into consideration is that some people might actually like the movie they're watching. DON'T GET HUFFY!

Jenn Thu, May 10, 2007 at 12:55 PM EST

Hooray to all the no infants people! I was at Spidey 3 this weekend and just about had my experience ruined by a couple who brought in their infant and toddler. Very frustrating and I kept wanting to holler out "Quit creating a new soundtrack to the movie!!!".

Also, if you or your child are enjoying a drink with a straw and you get to the point where there is nothing left, quit sucking! The disturbing slurpy noise made by the straw is not the sound of more soda appearing in the bottom of your cup!

Frances Thu, May 10, 2007 at 12:51 PM EST

If you arrive late to the movie, don't stand around in the aisle for like 15 minutes trying to see in the dark if there are empty seats for you and your friends!! Suck it up and sit all the way in the front. It's your own fault for not getting there on time. It's so distracting when someone stands in the aisle, especially if you are sitting in an aisle seat. It also drives me nuts when someone takes the empty seat right next to you when the movie is about to start and proceeds to slurp their drink and chomp down on their popcorn!! (this happened to me when I saw Bable) Doesn't anyone in the world have manners anymore???

Elaine Thu, May 10, 2007 at 12:48 PM EST

If you cannot be bothered to pay attention to the screen, then do not interrupt my experience but asking what is happening or what the screen says. This happened during Titanic, which sadly annoyed me more than the damned movie.

If one more punk kid kicks my seat, so help me, I will actually lay him out in the aisle. I hate people's children or any age when they are not well behaved. If you cannot act right in public, then stay at home until you learn manners.

Henry Thu, May 10, 2007 at 12:46 PM EST

I agree with the idea of posting something like this list on the walls in all the cinemas around the United States.

Tim Thu, May 10, 2007 at 12:46 PM EST

If you must sleep, no snoring.

LisaMama Thu, May 10, 2007 at 12:45 PM EST

Just for emphasis:
Number one rule: Don't bring kids to non-kid movies. No excuses. Get a babysitter or wait for the DVD.

anon Thu, May 10, 2007 at 12:33 PM EST

http://www.logcapture.com/2007/05/audience_tips.html

kelli m Thu, May 10, 2007 at 12:26 PM EST

if you go to a foreign film, DO NOT READ THE SUBTITLES OUT LOUD!! This happened to me while watching Hidden Tiger, Crouching Dragon. Of course, i did see it the Bronx(take from that what you will)

Vance Thu, May 10, 2007 at 12:25 PM EST

BTW, everything here that everyone said should be posted on every cinema. I agree particularly with Ep Sato's feet thing and seating after the movie started thing. UGH...sorry laters, suck it up and just sit godamnit.

maya Thu, May 10, 2007 at 12:25 PM EST

Wow, I thought I was the only one who finds all this stuff (especially the kids and text-messaging) unbelievably annoying. I would add that in addition to not kicking the seat in front of you, could parents please make sure their KIDS aren't kicking the seats in front of them too?

I also have to state the obvious because it actually happened to me: DO NOT answer your cellphone when the movie is on, even if it's to say "I'm at a movie. Can I call you back?" Truly unbelievable.

Martha Thu, May 10, 2007 at 12:22 PM EST

I like the 5-second recap after the bathroom trip rule...as someone who *always* has to go in the middle, I either figure out what happened myself or ask my husband later. Suz, the presence of a 3-year-old at "The Descent" is absolutely shocking - he was probably quiet because he was so flippin' terrified! Poor kid.

KC Thu, May 10, 2007 at 12:22 PM EST

I agree that there should be NO talking. Under any circumstance. Ever.
I particularly hate people who feel the need to say out loud what is about to happen. My eyes/ears work fine; I don't need a surrogate to watch a movie.

GingerCat Thu, May 10, 2007 at 12:21 PM EST

Also, if someone is being rude or disruptive, get an usher. We can't keep letting these people think they can get away with it.

GingerCat Thu, May 10, 2007 at 12:19 PM EST

I agree with all of these, especially Jason. I despise it when a couple on a date sits near me and one person in the couple (usually the guy) feels the need to explain everything to his date. Just trust that your date is smart enough to get it on their own!

The problem is, the people who DO ruin the moviegoing experience will read something like this and assume it applies to everyone BUT them. Be warned: the advice here applies to EVERYONE.

Vance Thu, May 10, 2007 at 12:18 PM EST

Ya, no fighting in the theatre. Ya, a huge fight broke out during Spider-Man 3 last weekend (and sadly, was more interesting than the movie itself as disturbing as that was).

fredric Thu, May 10, 2007 at 12:09 PM EST

And keep the bluetooth off your ear. I can see it blinking in my face.

baby mama Thu, May 10, 2007 at 12:08 PM EST

As parents, we have to keep our children in line. My kids are punished from seeing movies if they act up in a theater. And surprise! They're well behaved.

DLM Thu, May 10, 2007 at 12:07 PM EST

Awesome list, Mandi! And I'd like to say that Paul U. also hit the nail on the head about text messaging. Or for that matter anything regarding your cell phone. Even if it doesn't make any noise, that garish light competes for attention in a darkened movie theater. It's distracting and annoying. Don't do it!

And Snarky's comments about bringing kids to movies are dead-on. I remember seeing "The Others" with Nicole Kidman, and there was a pack of kids rolling through the aisles -- and I mean that literally. And I don't want to hear adults blame the movies for their kids' rotten behavior when they bring five-year-olds to "Texas Chainsaw Massacre." I've seen that kind of thing too many times.

For action movies: I'm happy you're excited, random audience member, but it's infuriating when you yell "Did you see that!" or "Oh hell no!" whenever something remotely interesting happens. You ruined "The Bourne Identity" for me!

dixie Thu, May 10, 2007 at 12:00 PM EST

Keep your children quiet. Even if it's a "kiddie" movie. My quiet child would like to hear it. It's amazing to me how many parents don't even tell their kids to be quiet; if you know your child can't sit for 90 minutes then wait for the DVD.

Suz Thu, May 10, 2007 at 11:55 AM EST

Yes Snarky! When I went to see the Descent, there was a kid in front of us who had to be at most 3 years old. He was quiet and all, but just the sight of him there for that movie was pretty disturbing.

Jason Thu, May 10, 2007 at 11:50 AM EST

These are great. My main peeve is when some doorknob needs to constantly point out the obvious to his/her friend. It's as though they need to prove they get it or something. Drives me crazy.

Henry Thu, May 10, 2007 at 11:37 AM EST

The kids under 4 or 5 was my main complaint about the theater when I went to see Spider-Man 3. Probably what's gonna happen at Pirates of the Caribbean in two weeks. I'd add DO NOT GIGGLE CONSTANTLY AT SERIOUS MOMENTS IN THE MOVIE. I find it annoying. Or DO NOT CONSTANTLY SAY HOW HOT YOU FIND (INSERT ACTOR OR ACTRESS' NAME HERE). A group of ladies did that during Troy and a guy to their left actually had to tell them to shut up within earshot of everyone, adding the f-word for good effect. Did work, though, so I give him props.

Ep Sato Thu, May 10, 2007 at 11:35 AM EST

One last thing. Do not put your feet up on the seats in front of you until the movie has started. No one wants to put their head where someone else's crusty shoe bottoms have been. I can't stand it when people put their feet on the chairs in front before the movie's started. We all pay for one seat, NOT TWO.

And there should be armrest etiquette as well. The person using the drink holder gets the front half, the person with their drink on the other armrest gets the back half.

Rose Thu, May 10, 2007 at 11:31 AM EST

I totally agree about the gum.

Not only did I have the misfortune of sitting on someone's old gum once (totally ruining my skirt), but last time I went to the movies these two teenage girls next to me were chewing it like truck stop waittresses.

It was totally disgusting and extremely loud.

Stacey Thu, May 10, 2007 at 11:31 AM EST

I agree with Sharky. No infants. But if you do bring your infant into a theater and it starts to cry or fuss, LEAVE THE THEATER. It's your own damn fault if you miss the movie because you brought your baby. That's what babysitters are for. Can't afford one? Too freaking bad. That's just one of the sacrifices of being a parent.

Ep Sato Thu, May 10, 2007 at 11:30 AM EST

If you arrive to a premiere after the movie has started, take the first seats you see and expect to be separated from your friends. Asking "are those seats over there open"? is a right reserved for those who arrive on time or early.

Those of us who braved long lines and scheduled well enough to show up early shouldn't have to pay for someone else's sin of being late to the theater.

Steph Thu, May 10, 2007 at 11:30 AM EST

Please don't turn on your cell phone/crack-berry during the last 10 minutes of the movie, I can see you little screens light up and it drives me cruise-azy!

Anthony Thu, May 10, 2007 at 11:28 AM EST

This is kinda annoying to me: The concession line is like 5 miles long. You have about 20 minutes to figure out what you're getting in line as you wait. When you get to the front, nothing annoys me like someone who needs to figure out what to get. Hello?, you just had half a lifetime to figure out if it should be Dr. Pepper or Pepsi. Keep the line moving. And stop bringing annoying babies to the theater. A 2-year old is not going to understand Spider-Man's wrath against SandMan. I have a hundred of these, LOL! I was once going to write a book about them all, but you summed it up pretty well.

Paul U. Thu, May 10, 2007 at 11:28 AM EST

No text messaging! You may have your phone on silent, but everyone's eyes go immediatley to that bright flash of light on your screen as you text your friends!

Snarky Thu, May 10, 2007 at 11:25 AM EST

PLEASE DO NOT BRING INFANTS TO THE THEATER. Ever. No exceptions.

Also, no one under 10 in scary movies - Please.

No kicking the seat when someone is in it.

No throwing goobers at the neighbors (this really happened to me and my friend - all 6'3, 225 lbs of him - had to get up and threaten them!

Padraig Tipton Thu, May 10, 2007 at 11:23 AM EST

Leave your freakin' gum at home! Nobody wants to hear you go CHOMP CHOMP POP POP SMACK SMACK all through the movie!