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Spider-Man! The Musical!

Apr 19, 2007, 06:03 PM | by Gary Susman

Categories: Spider-Man 3, Stage/Theater, Strange Bedfellows

I know, you never thought you'd hear the words "Spider-Man," "U2" and "Broadway musical" in the same sentence (heck, the same paragraph), but I won't be among the scoffers who'll insist that a Spidey stage show, with tunes by Bono and the Edge, is doomed to flail like Doc Ock's tentacles. For one thing, the songwriters seem to have some already-apt tunes, like "Vertigo" and "The Fly." And for the rest, the could modify some of their hits just a little, with results that might look like the lyrics below. After the jump, there's a music video, so you can sing these lyrics along with Bono over U2's original version.

Once I shared a kiss with MJ in the rain
I hung upside-down; why, I can't explain
She still digs me as a bug, loves me as a man
Why I'm running away, I still don't understand

Man
I'm slippery
I'm sliding down
I walk on walls like they're the ground

It's all right, it's all right, all right
I move on mysterious webs
It's all right, it's all right, all right
I move on mysterious webs

Harry takes a dive bomb at me because he's mad
Dude, I'm sorry that I had to kill your dad
Your grief is for real, I know how you feel
Since I let my uncle die, I sure feel like a heel
(On my knees, boy)

Poor Aunt May
So meek and mild
Yet she still treats me like a child

It's all right, it's all right, all right
I move on mysterious webs
It's all right, it's all right, all right
I move on mysterious webs
It's all right, it's all right, all right
Hide by day, hunt bad guys by night

And now my suit
Is turning black
I don't know why
Is it from space?
Is it a virus?
Now with Sandman and Venom
I don't need this tsuris

It's all right, it's all right, all right
I move on mysterious webs
It's all right, it's all right, all right
I move on mysterious webs
It's all right, it's all right, all right
Hide by day, hunt bad guys by night...


bill Sun, Jun 10, 2007 at 01:55 AM EST

nice lyrics i'd see the play just to laugh my a$$ off at it.
"Harry takes a dive bomb at me because he's mad
Dude, I'm sorry that I had to kill your dad" LOL

rentagoodbook Fri, Apr 20, 2007 at 12:41 PM EST

LOL on the lyrics, but as for a show, um...No. Though stranger things have been made into broadway musicals...

paige Fri, Apr 20, 2007 at 09:29 AM EST

the only reason this sounds remotely interesting to me is cause Julie Taymor is gonna direct it and shes just awesome... as for U2 doin the music-- ugh! disgusting...

khrystyne Fri, Apr 20, 2007 at 06:45 AM EST

Awesome lyrics, Gary - while I wouldn't go see the stage show (sorry, but the whole superhero genre doesn't do much for me), I have to give you kudos for the lyrics.

Ceballos Thu, Apr 19, 2007 at 06:53 PM EST

I don't know, but with the songwriting/music team maybe coupled with some awesome wire work, I think this could be a spectacular music. I mean, it's Spider Man...not exactly sacred ground. At the very worst, a singing Spidey could shatter the unintentional comedy meter.

I'm already looking forward to J. Jonah Jameson's lament about how Spidey's always taunting him entitled "I hate that Webhead". For some reason I imagine him having a lovely baritone.

jeet Thu, Apr 19, 2007 at 06:27 PM EST

For the love of God, NO

United Colors of Benetton 012 Thu, Apr 19, 2007 at 05:34 PM EST

Why would anyone want to see Spider-Man in musical form?! And why would Bono want to write the score for it?! WHY?!

Hallie Thu, Apr 19, 2007 at 05:32 PM EST

Is this really happening? I thought it was just a wonderful rumor! Combining three of my favorite things: U2, Spider-Man, and Broadway musicals! I can't wait.

Ep Sato Thu, Apr 19, 2007 at 05:07 PM EST

U2 already did the soundtrack for a Batman movie (and the soundtrack was basically the best thing about the movie), so I have faith they can do the superhero genre.

It won't bomb, as people will see anything done by Bono. Not since the Beatles has a rock star from the North Atlantic inspired so many screaming groupies of all ages.

What'll make the show for me is if they find a way to incorporate Bruce Campbell (maybe as the Sandman?).


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