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The PopWatch Confessional (Vol. 8)

Mar 22, 2007, 11:13 AM | by Mandi Bierly

Categories: PopWatch Confessional

Swayze_lI have a crap addiction. And for the first time, I'm wondering if this is a problem. There's been a recent string of come-to-Jesus moments involving my insanely strong appreciation of "bad" movies, television, and music. Some were mildly amusing: One of my bosses, known for his love of old movies, told me he'd just seen a film that I'd love — then handed me the Let's Go to Prison unrated DVD. (He insisted he genuinely enjoyed it.) Others were actually alarming: Someone asked me to name the best movie of the last 10 years, and I couldn't. That's an opinion question. Shouldn't I have had one?

After much self-reflection — and a call to colleague Dan Snierson, whose love of any art form involving a mullet kinda makes me view him as sort of a sponsor — I realized why the "bad" things (see: Gymkata, the first season of The Surreal Life, Patrick Swayze's "She's Like the Wind") stick with me longer than the "good" ones: I have no idea how they got made. How do you first dream up, then sell a movie starring Olympian Kurt Thomas that creates a new martial art by combining gymnastics and karate? Who could have imagined that Gabrielle Carteris and Vince Neil would actually get along? And Mr. Swayze (pictured), what does the line "She's like the wind through my tree" even mean?

So here's this week's question, PopWatchers: What are the bad ideas that continue to fascinate you to this day?  One of my favorite bad ideas ever, after the jump!

I'm willing to go on the record and say that I still get chills watching young Corey Haim's video diary, Me, Myself, and I. Check out a clip here and see why. Corey on his career path: "The direction in my life right now that I'm trying to, I guess, proceed with in the business is graduate from being the younger brother, tryin' to get to be the older brother or the only brother." Corey on his future plans: "I think maybe 10 years from now I'm hopefully gonna be in Tahiti or something, kickin' back like in my huge mansion — if everything goes right, it's all up to me — just watching the dolphins, and the porpoises, and the sharks and the little sea horses and all that fun stuff go by in a whole different country while things are happening back here." Corey on kissing: "What does kissing really mean to me? To me, if you feel when you kiss a girl that certain feeling of all those dolphins like swimming through your bloodstream, and you get those good tingles inside your stomach. I don't think there's anything better than kissing because it basically comes to, um, I guess the word 'love.' I guess that's what it's all about." I couldn't have said it better, Corey.

Your turn.


Patrick Fri, May 11, 2007 at 07:48 PM EST

My favorite guilty pleasure is a film 99% of the world has never seen -

SEXTETTE (1978)

Picture this - A romantic comedy about a British dignitary who marries the #1 star in America - "America's Sweetheart," if you will, and then all hell breaks loose on their honeymoon weekend as all of her ex husbands are in the same hotel at a United Nations Conference of sorts.

Now picture this - the British dignitary is played by a pre-James Bond Timothy Dalton.

Now picture THIS - the Starlet is played by 87 year old MAE WEST. She could barely stand up, and her dialogue consisted solely of sexual innuendos from her old 1930s material.

And finally picture THIS - it's a PG rated MUSICAL. Mae and Tim SING!

BRILLIANCE in every single moment. RENT IT.

B Mon, Mar 26, 2007 at 05:42 PM EST

"Black Belt Jones" is by far the definition of awesome. I used to watch that movie over and over back in college.

Zod Mon, Mar 26, 2007 at 03:39 PM EST

I LOVE the craptalgia!

Cannonball Run – The best bad movie of all time! This is the movie Aaron Spelling would’ve produced had he been in motion pictures. I actually bought this on DVD, granted it was in a bargain bin for $7.00 but still…

Mon, Mar 26, 2007 at 03:39 PM EST

I LOVE the craptalgia!

Cannonball Run – The best bad movie of all time! This is the movie Aaron Spelling would’ve produced had he been in motion pictures. I actually bought this on DVD, granted it was in a bargain bin for $7.00 but still…

It's Craptastic! Fri, Mar 23, 2007 at 10:11 PM EST

If you want "old school craptacular", how about "Looker"?

This '81 movie has it all: big stars (Albert Finney - as a plastic surgeon! - and James Coburn, as his usual corporate bad guy), a well-known writer/director (Michael Crichton), a grown-up child star (Susan Dey, pre-"LA Law"), and a bunch of scantilly-clad early-80's supermodels (Terri Welles, Randi Brooks).

The movie was about actors being superimposed into commercials (after submitting to late-70's-era "motion capture" - remember, this was the Commodore 64 era in PCs!), who are then murdered once their image is stored for future use. Finney gets involved when a number of his patients get these "acting" jobs, then end up dead. It involves a lot of mind-control mumbo-jumbo, a paralyzing "light gun", and a plot to fix an election, not to mention a LOT of bad car chases...

It's silly and contrived, but I always used to catch it when HBO would run it. And it had a kick-ass Kim Carnes-sung theme song, too!

aymzer Fri, Mar 23, 2007 at 02:54 PM EST

Can't Buy Me Love anyone?

TheJester Fri, Mar 23, 2007 at 02:32 PM EST

Count me in on the S Club 7 party train. And I'll add The VengaBoys to that. The best fluff europop EVER.

And I have to add my two favorite movies as a child that I now realize are, um, quite atrocious.

Ladyhawke, with a young Matthew Broderick, Michelle Pfeiffer, and Rutger Hauer. Medieval legend about cursed lovers where one is a hawk by day, the other a wolf by night so they can never be together, set to the cheesiest soundtrack? Hell yes.

And the other which will always hold a special place in my heart: Big Business, with Bette Midler and Lily Tomlin each playing a set of identical twins that were switched at birth. So incredibly fantastic, and Seth Green as Midler's Rambo obsessed son. Pure genius.

Angey in Roll Fri, Mar 23, 2007 at 01:43 PM EST

Daniel at P&T! You are so right! My girlfriend Beth and I used to breakout in choreographed routines at high school dances all the time. Our favorite was "THRILLER" just like Mark Ruffalo and Jennifer Garner did in 13 Going on 30!

Sarah Fri, Mar 23, 2007 at 01:43 PM EST

ANYTHING with Steven Segal. Also, one I know drove my parents crazy when I was growing up was Back to the Beach with Frankie and Annette. My sister and I must have watched that 3 times a week for 2 years straight.

Daniel at P&T Fri, Mar 23, 2007 at 01:09 PM EST

If loving "She's All That" doesn't scream CRAP ADDICTION I don't know what does. The worst has to be the prom scene where everyone busts into a choreographed routine. You know, just like we did in high school.

Beej Fri, Mar 23, 2007 at 12:21 PM EST

My wife's favorite movie of all time is a POS called "The Whoopee Boys" (imdb it, you'll be amazed at who's in it). I'd never heard of it till I met her, but her whole family loves it. Well, one Xmas they sit down to watch it, and everyone except me and my bro-in-law fall asleep. Lord, what crap!, But she still thinks it's the Best. Movie. Ever.

Zabka Fan Fri, Mar 23, 2007 at 11:53 AM EST

I can't beleive a classic like The Karate Kid has found its way on here. In no way is this a bad movie, KK2, still great, KK3's story was not enjoyable, but the acting is something that will stick with your forever. The Next Karate Kid (w/ Hillary Swank) isn't considered, by true fans, to even be a legitimate sequel.

And whoever nominated Red Dawn, you sadden me.

Stephanie Fri, Mar 23, 2007 at 11:31 AM EST

One word: "Rockula". Dean Cameron was a cutie in "Summer School" but "Rockukla" was so awful it was good.

Eric Fri, Mar 23, 2007 at 10:30 AM EST

Got to give it up for American Anthem, the guy in the wheel chair that looks like Eric Stoltz was acting his ass off in the scene he where he writes the music. I am a little surprised no one has nominated any "white people showing ghetto kids the light" movies. How about "Dangerous Minds" as offensive as the movie is, the overly serious video to the theme song is even better. "The Best Little Whore House in Texas" absolutely the gayest movie ever. What more could you want in a movie beyond whores, Jim Neighbors, Dolly Parton, Burt, Dom DeLouise,"Hard Candy Christmas". "Stop this copulation" I say hells no!

Rusty B Fri, Mar 23, 2007 at 10:28 AM EST

Stroker Ace was awesome, Jim Neighbors put on an Oscar winning performance in that movie.

aymzer Fri, Mar 23, 2007 at 10:04 AM EST

Am I the only person who owns "American Anthem"? Please someone else tell me they fell for the movie about a gymnast who is going for the hardest triple flip in the world!

aymzer Fri, Mar 23, 2007 at 10:03 AM EST

Am I the only person who owns "American Anthem"? Please someone else tell me they fell for the movie about a gymnast who is going for the hardest triple flip in the world!

KC Fri, Mar 23, 2007 at 09:37 AM EST

My number one best worst movie has got to be Grease 2, which I watch every single time I "accidentally" catch it on TV. I fell hard as an 11 yr old in the 80s (especially for Michael aka that Cool Rider with a British accent) & can still sing every single song. I know it's awful...but I don't care. Thankfully, my college roommate had the same secret shame & owned a VHS copy that we happily wore out.

purplegirl247 Fri, Mar 23, 2007 at 09:31 AM EST

My brothers and I religiously watched TMNT 2: Secret of the Ooze (mostly to laugh hysterically at the "Ninja, Ninja RAP!" song), the Wrong Guys (poorly acted but somehow compelling "boy scouts grown up" tale featuring John Goodman, Richard Beltzer, and the incomparable Louie Anderson), and the Herbie movies. We also still bust out "do the Freddie" from Troop Beverly Hills.

Hmmm. I wonder if the fact that you grew up watching bad movies makes them good somehow? I've tried to show what I remember to be awesome movies to friends now, and they all look at me like I'm a freak!

nightcrawler666 Fri, Mar 23, 2007 at 08:46 AM EST

Anything by Andy Sedaris. Picasso Trigger, boy what fun. All of the Playboy Playmates who wrote "Actress" on their profiles, rubber snakes, Hawaii and a frisbee with razor blades used to kill someone. Look for Eric Estrada in later movies. Also Showgirls, I had to buy the deluxe box set....the horror, the horror.

J Fri, Mar 23, 2007 at 08:43 AM EST

The fact is, Newsies' big problem was being a movie. Put that on stage today with remotely age-appropriate cast and you'll have more teenage girls screaming than 'Altar Boyz'.

furry_tom Fri, Mar 23, 2007 at 08:23 AM EST

I wouldn't consider Dead Alive a "so bad it's good" movie either. It's hilarious ("I kick ass for the Lord!") and gory and has weird Oedipal overtones. Everything a movie needs.

Winona Fri, Mar 23, 2007 at 08:06 AM EST

Have to add re: Newsies... you haven't lived until you've heard "Seize the Day" sung by the awesome North Metro Chorus out of Toronto. AWESOME.

Darby Fri, Mar 23, 2007 at 07:46 AM EST

Most enjoyable bad movie is Shakedown from the 80s with Sam Elliot & Peter Well as a cop and an ADA going after dirty cops. Funniest bad movie quote ever: Weller's ADA says to Sam Elliot: 'Your wife said to tell you that you better come home and do the right thing or she's gonna pack up all your sh%t, and ship it back to Bump'n'Grind or Rope'n'Ride or whatever the hell the name is of that hick town in Texas you come from.' How can you not love that?? Best bad movie line EVER>

Phantom Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 10:26 PM EST

Oof, maybe this speaks volumes about what a loser I am, but I thought neither "Transporter" (the second one sucked) nor "The Three Amigos" were bad movies at all.


"Effe, do you know what means to have a plethora?"


Yeah, I guess I'm still that convulsing six year old myself! LOL!!!

B Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 10:16 PM EST

What about "The Transporter?" It's the best bad movie I've seen in a long time. I love the scene where he describes--in detail--how much weight the car can hold for the amount of gas he has allotted based on the determined speed of travel.

Bexter Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 07:21 PM EST

So bad it's freakin hilarious, The Three Amigos - hands down. You have to watch it with a 6 year old who's on the floor convulsing with laughter - then you get it. I have it on VHS and now DVD. I watch it with pride.

Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 07:06 PM EST

i'm with ya, mcgee...i watched it just because i thought kyle howard was cute...and now he's on "my boys," which is exponentially less embarrassing to admit to watching

Martha Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 06:51 PM EST

Oh c'mon, Erica, how can "Center Stage" be the worst movie EVER when it's got Ethan Stiefel and Julie Kent? OK, they can't actually deliver lines with any authority but their dancing is kick-ass. And Peter "Eyebrows" Gallagher is the artistic director! And lots of non-dancers pretend to be dancers with poorly disguised dance doubles! OK, it's pretty bad...

Jennifer Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 06:23 PM EST

I know critics trashed "A Night at the Roxbury," but it's one of my favorite movies. My love for that film is shameless. It's impossible for me to watch it without laughing, even if I've seen it so many times (the scene with the Butabi brothers doing an interpretive dance in the car gets me every time.)

McGee Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 06:04 PM EST

Five words--Love Boat: The Next Wave...

Ginger Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 05:56 PM EST

....Robocop....My favorite part is looking out through the robots eyes for the first time..great camera work.

plushpuppy Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 05:49 PM EST

Jaws 4 the revenge. Her family is being eaten by the shark and she goes to the bahamas. When she gets there, the shark has beaten her there. Classic, also I cant stop watching Harlem Nights, I know it is horrible, but I am like a moth to a flame for that movie.

Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 05:30 PM EST

Someone else that loved S Club 7. I watched it until they went to Spain, then it totally lost me.

You Guessed It. Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 05:06 PM EST

How have all these people forgotton the best horror movie of all time? RE-ANIMATOR. bad is good. so funny it can make a grown man cry. A must see for young and old.

Danna Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 04:49 PM EST

Since when is Labyrinth and Adventure's in Babysitting considered bad movies? Babysitting is a solid, good movie and Labyrinth is just awesome.
I get a kick out of really bad horror/action movies: Dead Heat (Joe Piscopo at his best), Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman, Sleepaway Camp, and Monsturd (a true gem with an excellent theme song!).
Also in highschool, I was obsessed with a Brit pop band tv show called S Club 7. I watched it every day and was devestated when Paul left the band and Barry Williams left the show. On reflection it was a pretty bad show.

The Catalyst Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 04:48 PM EST

Bob is this dink who sends in completely idiotic comments to the Joplin Globe online edition, such as today when he commented on a story about a fatal car crash with one of his better zingers "ouch". Bob's got no acorns.

Phantom Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 04:45 PM EST

Well, Rose fought Marilyn Manson off for years. This can't be much different!

lw Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 04:42 PM EST

My husaband is a self-described "coniseur of bad movies", with all but 3 episodes of Mystery Science Theatre 3000 on VHS. His ultimate movie in the "it's so bad it's painful" is the original non-Bruce Willis "Armageddon". Also a big Roadhouse fan (I think it was the "Let's Have a Patrick Swayze Xmas" song from MST3K that did it). But, his ultimate bad movie that we both love: "Dead Alive", an early Peter Jackson zombie flick. Go with the unrated version if you can.

Jamie Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 04:40 PM EST

I'm sure that every woman between the ages of 25 and 35 can probably recite "She's like the wind". I know I can, and thank you because it's now stuck in my head!
My husband refuses to watch Dirty Dancing because his sister watched it EVERY AFTERNOON when they got home from school in high school. Guess that no big loss huh? Boy these posts bring back the memories!
I also loved Silk Stalkings, Highlander, and all those campy shows! Too fun!

Amber Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 04:33 PM EST

My husband has made a career out of loving bad movies...unfortunately it's not the same bad movies I love. He loves Over the Top and I agree with Ep--who thought that was a good idea? My favorite scene is where he tells the camera that turning his hat around backwards turns him into a machine. What?

On the Sly wagon, I have a thing for Oscar. I watch it every time it comes on TV even though I own the DVD. And mark me down for the Newsies support group.

My biggest shame? Labyrinth. David Bowie with purple eyeshadow and Dolly Parton hair! Spinning orbs! Mutant flamingoes that remove their heads! Jennifer Connelly as Cinderella 1986! Puppets riding dogs! Relativity! The bog of eternal stench! What more could you want? (I even have the soundtrack.)

Hutchy Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 04:30 PM EST

How can you possibly mention "They Live" without mentioning one of the greatest non-Roadhouse movie lines on the 80's? "I've come here to chew bubblegum and kick some a$$. And I'm all out of bubblegum."

Abby Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 04:28 PM EST

The BEST worst movie ever is "Adventures in Babysitting" with Elizabeth Shue. Oh my god, do I love that movie. I own it and everyone looks at it then looks at me like I'm crazy.

Also, does anyone remember "She's Out of Control" with Tony Danza? Tony goes away on a business trip and his homely looking daughter gets her braces off and a total makeover and turns into a hottie? Pure magic on the screen.

Lorenzo Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 04:19 PM EST

How can no one talk has yet to talk about my favorite so-bad-it's-good pop culture movie....the super-cheesy sequel "Cube 2: Hypercube" which stars "24"'s Vice President assistant Kari Matchett? Yes, I said the sequel, not the original because two is always better than one. For those of you who don't know (and I doubt that you don't) the movie is about several people who are mysteriously trapped in a giant 3rd dimesional white cube trying to figure out what's going on and escape while the cube tries to kill them. Everything about the movie is awful from the bad acting (which makes me wonder how in the hell did Ms. Matchett got a job on "24"?) to the god-awful special-effect to the worst ending of all time. And I loved every minute of it. Every time the Sci-Fi channel shows it, I will watch it with the most geeky glee on my face. Yipee!

Stephanie Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 04:16 PM EST

Black, "No Holds" was so bad, it was funny. I liked "They Live" which shows up on cable from time to time, and then there is always the ultimate former WWF classic "Bodyslam" with Dirk Bendict aka: "Face" from the A-Team.

Ep sato Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 04:16 PM EST

Phantom, you're talking about "the Last Chase". I haven't seen it, but the plots sci fi camptacular!

Oh, and thanks for the Grindhouse correction. So it's Rose Mcgowan who fights the zombies? Niiiiiice.

Hutchy Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 04:11 PM EST

Roadhouse is indeed genius, on so many levels: Kelly Lynch and Swayze having a "mullet war", Lynch's skin-tight "picnic table pattern" red and white dress, that move when Dalton cracks that guy's head into the bar table and splits it, the ludicrously unneccessary Dalton shirtless tai-chi scene that seems to go on for like 7 hours, the bad guy pulling off incredibly obvious bad guy stunts that would get anyone arrested in 7 seconds (driving a monster truck through a car showhouse window? Ummm what? just call the FBI, for chrissakes), the sleazy bartender cousin character who looks like he just stepped from a bad 70's porn movie, the horrible fashion and embarrasingly horrible moves on display in the "80's random people dance floor scenes" that were in every other movie in the 80's, and I saved the best for last: Sam Elliot as the absolute King Of 80's Cool, Wade MF'in Garrett!!! WAS there a cooler dude in the 80's? WADE GARRETT IS GOD!!!

Phantom Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 04:02 PM EST

I just mentioned this on another blog, but does anyone remember that movie from the late 70's or early 80's that Lee Majors was in? There was like no more gas, and he was like this ex-Formula 1 driver or something.


What a great, campy opportunity to bank off of Lee's fame.

Eric Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 03:57 PM EST

It's nice to see "Roadhouse" getting so much love here, absolute classic! Lately I have been totally hooked on "TBN-Trinity Broadcast Network" lots of Stephen Baldwin and his pilled up wife, interviews. The juxtaposition of his overly(I would query, chemically)hyperactive, Jesus talking, while his wife sets next to him, seemingly 1/2 a xanax from death, is just hypnotic. They also like to show a movie that's name escapes me right now, starring Corbin Bernson as a lawyer and MrT as an extremist Christian terrorist trying to overthrow the one world government that just happens to be led by the Anti Christ. "The Postman" with Kevin Costner is a great way to spend four hours laughing your butt off. "Rambo 3" should get an honorary Academy Award for glorifying the people who would go on to carry out the 9/11 attacks. Walker Texas Ranger deserves it's own channel.

AD Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 03:56 PM EST

To clarify on Grindhouse, Kurt Russell is in the Tarentino directed half and plays a guy who kills women with his car, not in the zombie Rodriguez half. And Tarentino did guest direct the Benicio Del Toro ghost driving sequence in Sin City. And I love From Dusk Until Dawn. I even watched the 3 sequels. Wow, great posts, haven't thought of some of these movies in years. Hackers anyone? A cheesy computer hacking movie starring Angelina Jolie, Johnny Lee Miller (of Trainspotting, and former Mr. Jolie fame) and an, as always, over-the-top Matthew Lillard (Scream, She's All That). Terrible movie but somehow I love it. Also does anyone know the movie Gossip, with Lena Headey, James Marsden, Norman Reedus, Kate Hudson movie about college kids who spread a rumor to see what will happen and the rumor gets out of hand...until people die! It seriously is an awesomly bad movie.

aramis Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 03:53 PM EST

Ep Sato - I thought Kurt Russell was in "Death Proof" part of Grindhouse. No? That's the one where the guy - I could have sworn it was K-Russ - kidnaps women and puts them in the backseat of his car only to purposely crash the car and kill them, but he stays alive because he's part of the car is apparently "death proof", hence the clever title.

Courtney Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 03:51 PM EST

I have to agree on lots of the movies that have already been mentioned. However, my sister and I are both completely obsessed with Killer Clowns From Outer Space. Any and every time it is on I will watch it with absolute glee. How can you not love how the clowns encapsulate people in cotton candy or balloons, and suck their blood with bendy straws. I could go on and on about all the things I love about this atrocity of a movie. It's just soooooo bad, it's good!

a loud bang Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 03:44 PM EST

Did someone mention silk stalkings? Second only to la femme Nikita & Higlander (with Adrian Paul)! I used luuuve those shows. What about Renedgade w/ Lorenzo Lamas & Bobby Six killer? Tell me thats not a great saturday.
As far as movies--nothing passes a weekend of Mr. Shoop trying to educate a young courtney thorne Smith in "summer school", the hotness of Jake Ryan in 16 candles, or hte sublime so bad its GOOD Steven Segall in ANYTHING!

Phantom Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 03:44 PM EST

"have seen Swept Away and while it's not the best movie I found it no better or worse than Pretty Woman...is it too soon to go there yet with this opinion?"


Not yet, c.e., but don't go off of my opinion. I have this unnatural hatred for Madonna.


It's been stewing with me from about 1985, and she only made things worse with her fake-British accent and hypocritical assessment of America's shallowness.

blackpower Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 03:43 PM EST

Hulk Hogan's "NO HOLDS BARRED" was the most anticipated movie of my life, and boy did it deliver! And still delivers!

Ep sato Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 03:42 PM EST

Dusk til Dawn was bad, but wasn't Tarrantino was partially involved with Sin City? That was kinda okay.

Zombies are my obsession. I can't get enough of those slow moving brain eaters!

Aside from Zombies, Grindhouse also has Kurt Russell fighting them! Like Bruce Campbell, Russell has the ability to convince us the preposterous idea behind a movie is believable (as he did with examples Escape from New York and Big Trouble in Little China).

Speaking of movies that are plain awful, did anyone see the Dolph Lundgren/ Brandon Lee flick "Showdown in Little Tokyo?" Who's idea was it to have a blonde haired guy wear a Japanese flag jacket? The dialogue between Lundgren/Tia Carrera and between Lundgren/Lee is some of the worst I've ever heard.

Sample Quote (from Brandon Lee to Lundgren):"you have the biggest D-ck on a man I've ever seen".

Phantom Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 03:36 PM EST

Oof, good call Maggie, but I'm sure it doesn't mean the same thing to you as it does me. I think Phoebe Cates might be the most beautiful woman ever. How about this line:


"We're going to Myrtle Beach to meet BOYS..."

daisyj Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 03:33 PM EST

First Witch: All hail, Macbeth! hail to thee, thane of Glamis!

Second Witch: All hail, Macbeth, hail to thee, thane of Cawdor!

Third Witch: All hail, Macbeth, thou shalt be king hereafter!

Macbeth: Groovy.

aramis Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 03:27 PM EST

Ok ok ok ok, I have one...sing along with me if you know the words...
"Pippi Longstocking, comin' into your world. The freckle-faced redhead girl, you outta know, the one who's fun to be around..."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!

Maggie Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 03:24 PM EST

"Shag" is the greatest "bad" movie....

Stephanie Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 03:22 PM EST

The original Buffy The Vampire Slayer. because the lines were easy to remember:

"This one doesn't have a mirror at home!"

"Now, I'm a God!"
"And now, you're a coat rack!"

"My secret weapon is PMS."


And oddly enough, I actually liked Rocky Burnett's one hit wonder "Towin' the line"

monica Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 03:15 PM EST

i think colbert mentioned it a little while back, and i was so excited...THE JETSONS MEET THE FLINTSTONES...loooooooved it! own it on vhs...

and if tv movies can be considered "DYING TO BELONG" with hilary swank, jenna von oy, and mark-paul gosselaar..too good

Erica Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 03:15 PM EST

One of my favorite movies is by far THE worst movie EVER made -- "Centerstage." The acting- horrible. The storyline- horrible. Yet I can't stop watching this movie. Setting Michael Jackson's "The Way You Make Me Feel" to a hip-hop ballet routine? Does it get any cheesier than that?

Jay Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 03:11 PM EST

Ladies and gentleman, I submit for your consideration: "National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon", with the end-all, be-all of bad casting decisions: Kathy Ireland.

lboura Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 03:09 PM EST

"What kind of a host invites you to his house for the weekend and dies on you?" Welcome to my shame, the shame that is "Weekend at Bernie's" and a worn out VHS tape. And the best part?A sequel! Because who doesn't really, really love two losers and a dead guy? Comedy gold I tell ya!

mel Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 03:06 PM EST

Ok, I have to stop and say "she's like the wind" is NOT a bad song, or any worse than most 80s love songs. Swayze=triple threat!
Ok, I know, but seriously...he's way more talented than J-lo! Ghost, sltw, the funny skit with Chris Farley!

Black Power Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 03:06 PM EST

I have to admit "GIGLI" is my guilty pleasure. I just love it!!!!!!! Watch at lease twice a month.

Elaine Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 03:05 PM EST

I have to admit to Jackie Chan movies. Not Rush Hour either. Supercop and the others. Never fail to make a bad day or a good day better.

Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 03:02 PM EST

I LOVE Newsies to a point its really not normal, I persuaded my choir director to add several of the songs from the soundtrack to our choir concert one year. Come on --seize the day, carrying the banner--pure awesomeness!

cdrivanova Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 02:55 PM EST

Ahem ... dare I admit it? "Acapulco H.E.A.T." ... saw most of the episodes and (thankfully) not because of Fabio but really due to the hunky guys and the train-wreck-edness of it all ... I was consistently stunned, but never enough to actually s-w-i-t-c-h the channel ... ah, youth!

furry_tom Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 02:54 PM EST

I'd like to see the Bruce Campbell tackle Shakespeare.


LAERTES: He is justly served;
It is a poison temper'd by himself.
Exchange forgiveness with me, noble Hamlet.
Mine and my father's death come not upon thee,
Nor thine on me. [Laertes dies]
Hamlet: Hail to the king, baby.

thwarted Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 02:52 PM EST

I...can't stop watching Pootie Tang. There. I said it. Chris Rock as a giant ear of corn does it for me every time.

longabaugh Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 02:43 PM EST

Pleas, let us not forget, Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins.

Makes that James Bond guy look like a sissy.

Gabrielle Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 02:42 PM EST

Newsies, Roadhouse, unbelievable!! But if you take the worst story and pair it with some sort of futur/apocolypse/dystopia or sci-fi setting, I will watch it from start to finish. I can't help it.

Jessica Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 02:33 PM EST

My addiction - Hook.

My sister and I saw that movie over 100 times! My friends look back fondly on The Goonies, but my sister and I are die hard Hook fans. RUFFIOOOOOO!

daisyj Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 02:25 PM EST

FT- True, they should just start randomly adding him to all movies, to make them better. But bad movies become extra-awesome when the Bruce is present.

crazylegs Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 02:24 PM EST

Totally agree with Legend of Billy Jean. Must watch it whenever it comes on for two reasons: 1. Pat Benatar rules. 2. Helen Slater before makeover - yawn; Helen Slater after haircut and wearing the half zipped up wet suit looking thing out by the pool - unbelievably hot.

A truly craptastic movie is one called Sing! (don't forget the exclamation point) Plot: Highschool teacher takes street toughs and coaches them to sing and dance for a rediculously high production value senior musical revue which lifts the spirits of an entire community but in the end amounts to nothing.

Deluxx Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 02:20 PM EST

Ok, and as long as we're confessing, I have an unrelenting compulsion to see any and all movies that involve ballroom dancing, no matter how bad. Including "Take the Lead" with Antonio Banderas.

monica Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 02:20 PM EST

i think we're missing a whole oeuvre of crap movies--- including, but not limited to slackers ("it's not a hair doll...it fell out of your hair that way!", sorority boys, etc..), which never fail to amuse and have ridiculous, but dare i say brilliant premises

Deluxx Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 02:19 PM EST

How is it that no one has mentioned yet the exceedingly awesome "Earth Girls Are Easy"?! It couldn't fit this category better: a semi-musical comedy about furry, brightly-colored aliens who land in a beautician's pool and mess up her wedding plans... including a musical makeover scene! Starring Geena Davis, Jeff Goldblum, Jim Carrey and 80s novelty video sensation Julie Brown! I adore that movie.

furry_tom Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 02:17 PM EST

Yeah, but anything's better with Bruce Campbell in it.

escargot Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 02:17 PM EST

Xanadu! One of my favs! It's becoming a Broadway musical and I can't wait.

daisyj Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 02:12 PM EST

Girls Just Want to Have Fun! I had that on VHS and I think I practically wore out the tape (Wake up the neighborhood! Shake up those neighbors good!). And I have no idea how I have managed to live this long without seeing The Man With the Screaming Brain. I'll have to rent that. After all, the only thing better than a cheesy scifi movie is a cheesy scifi movie with Bruce Campbell in it. (Anyone remeber the one where they're snowed in at an airport with evil aliens, and he's an escaped convict or something? Terminal Invasion, I think. Good stuff.)

Vicky Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 02:12 PM EST

Monica-
Oh my god, I watched Sidekicks a ton when I was little. I think we threw the tape out. We were so ashamed during our mid-teens. I wish we still had it. Oh and if you're going to mention Jonathon Bradis, you can't leave out Ladybugs! Terrible movie, but I loved it still.

Winona Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 02:08 PM EST

Everyone already beat me to the good ones: Newsies, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (the movie, mind you), Grease 2... glad to see there are other Newsies fans out there - should we start our own support group?

furry_tom Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 02:08 PM EST

I'll totally be down for Grindhouse if it's full of Once Upon a Time in Mexico Johnny-Depp-gunslinger-with-no-eyes badassness, but I'm a little worried because his last team up with Tarantino was on Dusk till Dawn, and I don't think that movie lived up to either of their potential.

cat Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 02:01 PM EST

Just thought of another. Jersey Girl. Forget JLo and Ben's terrible acting in the crying scene. That little girl is soooo cute. The basic concept of the movie was great.

M Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 02:00 PM EST

Tremors--Kevin Bacon fighting giant man-eating worms. Also with Michael Gross and Reba McEntire as NRA enthusiasts.

Cat Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 01:57 PM EST

I have to chime in for I totally forgot about Troop Beverly Hills until you mentioned it. Totaly GREAT bad movie. When its on cable I can't help but stop and watch it. Loves it!

BamaEd Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 01:55 PM EST

I loved the cheesy wonderfulness (not a word, I know) that is "Girls Just Want to Have Fun." I had an SJP crush after that one. SJP, Helen Hunt, Jonathan Silverman, AND Shannen Doherty.

I also love "Shag: The Movie". Phoebe Cates, Bridget Fonda, Annabeth Gish, Darryl Hannah's sister Paige, Miguel Ferrer's ex-wife and co-star of Basic Instict Leilani Sarelle, Carol Burnett's late daughter Carrie Hamilton, Tyrone Power Jr. All of them have fun in the sun in Myrtle Beach, SC in the 60s. Good mindless summer fun!!

steph Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 01:54 PM EST

Return to the Valley of the Dolls. Could not tear my eyes away.

Suz Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 01:53 PM EST

A friend and I were just talking about how a group of people actually sat in a room together and decided that the movie Little Man would be a good idea. Someone paid millions of dollars to make that movie. What.. how.. huh??

LisaMama Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 01:50 PM EST

Oh, and if we're talking REALLY bad ideas -- what about the Star Wars Christmas special with the Wookies? Whew! I saw the original showing as a kid, and even though I was only 7 years old, I knew it was crap-tastic!

Jason Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 01:49 PM EST

Must add Xanadu to this list, absolutely bad Olivia Newton-John movie that I had to watch every time it came on, now my 6 year old daughter loves the movie too and it is save on our Tivo, so we can watch it when ever we want.

monica Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 01:44 PM EST

i really just want to call everyone's attention to "willow," (imdb: A reluctant dwarf must play a critical role in protecting a special baby from an evil queen) which was possibly the most frightening thing i've ever seen, but i watched it almost every weekend when WPIX had sunday afternoon movies. i came across a reference to it a little while back and almost died.

LisaMama Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 01:43 PM EST

I can admit to The Pacifier (I shed a tear every time the kid calls Vin Diesel "Daddy") and Goonies. Wait a minute, that's a GOOD movie!

Angey In Roll Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 01:42 PM EST

One of my all time favorites is Touched By An Angel. I used to set my VCR to record the reruns of this on PAX! Everytime that light from above shines down on Monica and she says "I am an angel....Sent by God" I tear up.

Cece Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 01:39 PM EST

Another great piece of cinematic history definitely belongs to "Troop Beverly Hills." COME ON. "We're the girls from Beverly Hills/1, 2, 3, 4/Shopping is our greatest thrill." I was on spring break in elementary school and my dad took me to go see it. I think it was us and an old couple. I loved it. GREATEST. WORST. MOVIE. EVER!!!!!!!!!

c.e. Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 01:31 PM EST

Since we're being honest here. It seemed five years ago there was two major taboos that no one could argue with: 1.The war in Iraq. 2. Madonna's Swept Away is a nuclear bomb. We'll I've never been to Iraq but have seen Swept Away and while it's not the best movie I found it no better or worse than Pretty Woman...is it too soon to go there yet with this opinion?

Laurie Thu, Mar 22, 2007 at 01:27 PM EST

I love the Spice Girls movie. If I am ever having a bad day I put it on and all is right in the world. If I want to feel horrible, but it in a it will be all be part of some bigger plan way I put on A Walk To Remember. Just for the record I am not mentally handicapped.


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