'O.C.' Deathwatch: Please don't choke!
Jan 19, 2007, 04:32 PM | by Annie Barrett
Categories: Television
Okay. Even I can admit last night's ep was kind of a buzzkill. Not much compelled, and practically nothing made sense. Taylor behaved horribly and way out of character from the rest of the season, Seth willingly let Che "guide" him through the woods (the show's already explored weed and coke; the next logical step was obviously hallucinogenic berries), and believe me, I love me a good bake sale (2-for-$5 Entenmann's!), but where the F was Sandy?! Ugh. Deep breath. Five more to go. Make it happen.
Of course, since this is The O.C., there were nuggets of awesome (that's six apiece on the dollar menu until January 28). Ryan and Summer had some great scenes together, one of which involved faux-choking (pictured) and the keen acknowledgment of Ryan's foot-wide neck. I love their interaction -- Roberts is bitchy, Atwood is sullen, and yet you can tell they have a basic understanding of "Yeah, we're good friends." The candy/bear atrocity Ryan picked up for Taylor said "Thanks!" on it, a detail which easily made up for at least four gratuitous cuts to the atrocious Henri-Michel. And Julie's whole chlamydia scam was pretty out-there, but it allowed for this line: "Please let Linda think she has an STD." Oh Julie.
Back to mean mode: I could not stand that band geek, Lucy. I recognized the actress as the sketch comedy fangirl/translator for her powerful dad on two episodes of Studio 60 (she's had bit parts in many other shows as well), and thought, "Okay, maybe her voice is making me want to kill myself because she's just trying to enunicate for the plebes and sound earnest." But no, it was the same on The O.C. These were all her lines: "Squeeeeeeeeeeeak!" [Brief, exasperated exhalation.] [Dumb-ass grin.] Honestly, before I realized she was really supposed to be an actress, I assumed she was some ridiculed-then-discarded reality show contestant of whom I'd be previously, blissfully, unaware. This girl and Henri-MIchel need to get trapped in a hell-like tomb full of chlamydia and the festering body cells of Marissa Cooper. In fact, maybe a hypothetical area like this would be a great place to store everything we ever hated about this show. Johnny, Oliver, Lindsay's oboe....
Of course we'd need a special "heaven" area for items like Princess Sparkles, Marissa's flask, and the bagel slicer. What else do you want to toss into these piles? What do you want to see happen in the last few eps?
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