The History Channel invites you to step into history, kill it

Good news for anyone who likes his/her bloodlust au courant: Two great names in vicarious carnage are coming together. The History Channel (home of Hitler or No Hitler, The Hitler Life and So You Think You Can Invade Poland?) and Kuma Reality Games (the taste-obsessed folks who turn last week’s Iraq death toll into this week’s game sensation) will team up on Shootout!

For the uninitiated, Shootout! (entering its second season on Nov. 3) recreates famous gun battles throughout history, from Guadalcanal to 50 Cent. (The latter hasn’t happened yet, but if Iraq ever dies down, the battle bookers will have to go the way of Inside the Actors Studio.) But what if simply watching isn’t, er, historical enough for you? What if you feel the sudden need to pump America’s enemies full of history?

Enter Kuma, the outfit Daily Show correspondent John Oliver infiltrated on last night’s show. As Oliver discovered, Kuma delivers "powerful, up-to-the-minute 3D game experiences," including bloody recreations of Falluja and recent assaults on Sadr City. Now, with a simple download, you can enter the battlefield and use what you just learned on Shootout! to better aerate your opponent.

Digital barbarism? I dunno: I think this is how all wars should be fought. And in the future, we can have game battles commemorating other, more famous game battles, while outside, humanity's soon-to-rebel battle drones trade lasers over whether or not we should veil Dakota Fanning. Future's so bright, I gotta wear a blindfold!