Stop the presses! Who are the best dressed?
Sep 14, 2006, 12:09 PM | by Whitney Pastorek
Categories: Trend Watch
OMG I am so excited, Pop Watchers. And scared. Excited and scared! Why? Because today is the day People magazine announces
their annual Best Dressed list! In my household, Best-Dressed Day is
basically a combination of the Fourth of July, Christmas morning, and an
Elton John concert all rolled into one: My family gets out of bed at
the crack of dawn, wraps itself from head to toe in couture, then
stumbles bleary-eyed downstairs to bunch together on the sofa and let
the fireworks begin, slowly turning the pages of the magazine one by
one, oohing and aahing at the sartorially gifted as they float,
rendered flawlessly in matte, ranked professionally by the ranking
professionals at People, who cannot be beat when it comes to ranking
all things beautiful.
You can imagine, then, my excitement to click on this link...
Here goes...
1. Jennifer Aniston. Okay. Okay. She always looks very put together, buffed
to a sheen, carnauba-waxed for protection against the elements, that
choice is boring, but it works fine.
2. Halle Berry. Okay. She's pretty, but I wouldn't say best dressed
per se. Plus, she's hardly been that visible this year. Interesting
choice, People magazine. But you are my gods! So thus I nod and obey.
3. Jessica Alba (pictured). Wha? Is anyone ever even looking at her clothes? What in the name of Gwen Stefani is going on here?
GASP! Wait. What does that say? WHAT DOES THAT SAY??
"Elizabeth Sporkin, People's executive editor, said for the first time
the list was picked by online readers and not the magazine's editors."
Holy crab cakes, this time you online meddlers have gone too far! You
can have your MySpace profiles, and your vaguely-interesting YouTube
videos. Hell, you can even come over here and tell me I'm a moron in
the comment space! But you cannot-- cannot -- replace the professional
rankers at a major national publication! Out, demons! Slagkicks! I
rebuke thee! Good day, sirs!
I said good day!

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