Unlikely rapper of the day: Gwyneth Paltrow

Esther Kustanowitz Fri, Sep 29, 2006 at 10:51 AM EST

So, at first, I only skimmed the post, and missed the words "probably because it didn't happen"--so you got me, initially. But as soon as I started reading those crazy-dope lyrics, I knew you weren't for realz, yo.

warrior62 Fri, Sep 29, 2006 at 03:20 AM EST

US people, you are so stupid, get out of our countries
instead of offend every single person who go away from your country!

california Fri, Sep 29, 2006 at 02:19 AM EST

I love Gwen. This would be awesome for her to do if she hosted SNL. When Duets came out I was really surprised that was her singing on the single. She can carry a tune!

And omg I am so horrified to learn that Britney did a duet with K-Fart. EWWWWWWWWWW.

Vivi Fri, Sep 29, 2006 at 01:00 AM EST

Wow.

Pure, pure genius. I could not stop laughing. OMGosh, so good.

p.s. Thanks for TV Watch-ing "Ugly Betty". You just made my (late, late) night.

katie g Thu, Sep 28, 2006 at 06:04 PM EST

well that's just genius.
love it

newbie Thu, Sep 28, 2006 at 05:32 PM EST

Another brilliant batch o'lyrics, Slezak! Well done! However, this may hover closer to possibility than you realize! Did anyone catch the Access Hollywood where Gweny-Gwen said that she would be spending her birthday at Jay-Z's concert b/c he is her "best friend?" Since when? How did Billy Bush not follow up on this overstatement? What do Madonna and Stella and all of her fab Brit friends have to say about being replaced as BFFs?

Laurie Thu, Sep 28, 2006 at 04:14 PM EST

OMG. I can just imagine Gweneth throwing hand gestures while spillin your sweet swet rhymes. Thank you Michael! I could read your rap lyrics to anything.

Fatima Thu, Sep 28, 2006 at 03:54 PM EST

Michael. Bravo. Do the Top Model recap please! I know you would use hot mess during it~!

fredric Thu, Sep 28, 2006 at 03:44 PM EST

Best use of the words "hot mess" in a song. Ever. (Disclaimer: I can't actually recall the words ever being in a song, but tis a good idea...)

Phil Thu, Sep 28, 2006 at 03:41 PM EST

Better she rap with Jigga than trying to do a duet with her husband. I recall she can actually hold a tune though from the single with Huey Lewis from DUETS, but I truly hope she never decides to duet with Chris Martin, much like the I-really-hope-its-as-awful-as-I-can-image duet from Britney & Kevin "Crazy" from his forthcoming disc due on Halloween. (The jokes will just write themselves.)

Oh and Slezak, your fow is So-So (but pretty fly for a white guy!!!)

Lora Thu, Sep 28, 2006 at 03:36 PM EST

I was having a bad day, Slezak, and you just made it all better

Gretchen Weiners Thu, Sep 28, 2006 at 03:28 PM EST

Michael you have true talent. What would make that even hotter is knowing that you knew all the original words by heart and you didn't have to look it up. Because I know my homeboy's got some crazy Beyonce love.

Ceballos Thu, Sep 28, 2006 at 03:27 PM EST

Awesome Slezak...just great work.