What's next for Star Jones?
Jun 27, 2006, 04:20 PM | by Gary Susman
Categories: Morning Madness
Alas, the Star vs. Rosie showdown will never happen, as Ms. Jones Reynolds announced this morning on The View that she's ending her nine-year run in July, two months before O'Donnell comes aboard the ABC chatfest to fill Meredith Vieira's chair. Moreover, Star tells People, she didn't jump, she was pushed. How ignominious, to be booted just because there wasn't ego room for both her and the star of Riding the Bus with My Sister.
Ah, but don't cry for the Princess of Payless. According to the New York Daily News, she's already in talks with several other networks.
Whoever hires her, I think she should become that network's chief White House correspondent, so that she can gush over Tony Snow and other administration officials the way she does over minor TV stars on the Emmy red carpet. Think about it: Who needs unconditional love more than President Bush, who is polling somewhere between Kevin Federline and MC Hammer these days? And who is more likely than Star to figure out how to make a news beat profitable? The product-placement premiums alone will save her network enough to fund the entire D.C. bureau. The resulting coverage will pull in a young female demographic that even Katie Couric's legs can't draw, and it'll be funnier than The Colbert Report to boot.
It's a win-win for everybody. Or do you have a better idea for Ms. Jones' next job?

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