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'America's Got Talent': It's off and running!

Jun 22, 2006, 04:53 PM | by Michael Slezak

Categories: Reality TV

16132__granny_l_1 Well, it's no American Idol, but that doesn't mean America's Got Talent doesn't have its charms (Regis Philbin instead of Ryan Seacrest). NBC's latest reality entry, which drew a very solid 12 million viewers, made me think of that old Country Time Lemonade slogan -- ''not too tart, not too sweet'' -- in that it played more like a hybrid of old-fashioned local talent contest and The Gong Show 2.0 than a modern, cut-throat reality contest.

Still, does anyone actually think AGT is going to unearth the nation's next superstar? Take the episode-closing performance by the ''Rappin' Granny'' (pictured), for example. While some folks are bound to be charmed by the sight and sound of a senior citizen in a housedress spitting rhymes about CNN, not even Kanye himself could buy this woman a spot on the Billboard charts. Seriously, are any of you genuinely jonesing for a repeat performance? (Insert sound of crickets here.) Yet if we're to believe pitiful Simon Cowell clone Piers Morgan's claim that Rappin' Granny is ''what this show is all about,'' then I'm not sure I want to stick with AGT for the rest of the summer. Similarly, I didn't get the judges' enthusiasm for 8-year-old Syd the Kid's self-penned standup routine about fat black women. Yes, she had beyond-her-years self-confidence, but she wasn't funny, merely alarming.

Such lack of discretion from Morgan, along with fellow judges David Hasselhoff and Brandy, made me miss the brutality of Idol's audition process, something that, interestingly enough, gives the latter show so much heart. Dreams of marginally talented folks get crushed every day; it's only superstars like Kelly Clarkson who are (and should be) left standing when the competition's done. Certainly, even Paula Abdul would've hesitated before saying yes to 14-year-old Alexis Jordan, whose rendition of ''I Have Nothing'' could've easily been redubbed ''I Have Nothing (Particularly Special to Offer).'' (That said, the episode's unintentional comic highlight stemmed from Brandy lauding Jordan's vocals and stage presence, then declaring, ''It's like watching myself in a mirror.'' Talk about E to the G to the O!)

All complaining aside though, I will admit there was something innocent and fun about AGT. Seeing Bobby Badfingers, a self-proclaimed ''professional snappist'' who dresses like a tore-down disco-era Elvis impersonator, let his fingers walk him right into the next round was as delightful as it was shocking; Idol would've made mincemeat of his sideshow skills, but AGT gave the guy the props he deserved, along with the basketball-dance troupe, the surprisingly funny ventriloquist, and the multiracial hip-hop-apella act, At Last. Now if Hasselhoff's fellow panelists promise to stop pressing his buzzer, AGT might actually become my Wednesday semi-addiction.

What did you think of the show, PopWatchers? And more importantly, will you be back for more next week?

alexis jordan Thu, Nov 1, 2007 at 10:36 AM EST

dis move was cool i like it

Cam Wed, Jun 6, 2007 at 10:49 AM EST

Totally scripted CRAP.

Lindsay Wed, Jul 5, 2006 at 10:33 PM EST

Hello!!!!! it's Simon Cowell's show, so of course it's going to be like American Idol. I do have to say that some of the acts chosen weren't very good, but do you really think they will get chosen to win the money? like the strippers, or the rapping granny, I doubt they will make it very far. My point is, is that everyone has their own opinion so of course the judges are going to pick someone you don't think is very good. I personally enjoy the show. I will be watching next week. My advice to you is that if you don't like it then don't watch it, and don't whine about not likeing it.

Dillinger Tue, Jun 27, 2006 at 04:19 PM EST

I will assume that your derogatory comments about 14-year old Alexis Jordan is merely an attempt to stir controversy and interest in your column. Alexis Jordan is obviously a teenage-singing prodigy and her rendition of "I Have Nothing" was very impressive -certainly more impressive than American Idol's runner-up Katharine McPhee. Alexis Jordan is a star in the making.

fan Mon, Jun 26, 2006 at 05:28 PM EST

syd the kid was HORRENDOUS...what an unfunny little loser she is. Gotta Hate her and her pathetic act. How in the world ANYONE thought that was remotely funny was beyond me. What a joke. The knife juggling guy was a freaking psycho and hateable as well

Stephanie Mon, Jun 26, 2006 at 12:37 PM EST

Three words: The Gong Show!

sam Fri, Jun 23, 2006 at 02:45 PM EST

I reslly enjoyed it in an odd sort of way--felt like I was back sitting on the living room floor watching Ed Sullivan when I was little. I thought that the judges were fun and there were a few really talented people among the rather unusual acts. Perfect for a summer evening.

Jennifer Fri, Jun 23, 2006 at 01:44 PM EST

I liked it. However, I wish they would have aired the acts included in the end montage of acts that they didn't have time for. Several of those looked more interesting than Syd the Kid or Rappin' Granny or The Oldest Stripper. I LOVE BRANDY. I LOVE HASSELHOFF.

jason Fri, Jun 23, 2006 at 11:17 AM EST

i thought it was light-hearted and a nice summer show. they're not trying to make it the next "idol" slezak back off man. it did what it set out to do, put a smile on my face. it's gonna sound cliche' but in these times of war and strife, there's nothing wrong with good fun. i'll be watching.

Ted Fri, Jun 23, 2006 at 10:08 AM EST

Too many problems with this show. First of all, bad is bad. Second, we don't care about any of these people, we just want to see some people make fools of themselves and others do something vaguely interesting. Third, if all the judges hit the buzzer, act over, go sit down.

There used to be a show called "30 Seconds to Fame". That show had one bizarre act after another but they kept it moving. Stick with the strange acts, kill the bad singing acts who wouldn't have made it past regional auditions in American Idol, and put a muzzle on the judges (could they have found a worse group?).

Tiffany Fri, Jun 23, 2006 at 09:24 AM EST

I HATED this show! As a big fan of So You Think You Can Dance and American Idol, I thought this was going to be my new summer addiction. Man, was I waaaaay off. The interactions between the judges and the contestants felt weirdly scripted, and I couldn't believe how many shockingly horrible contestants were sent through to the next round. Ok...the fingersnaps guy was entertaining in a Las Vegas intermission sort of way, but Syd the Kid? Blech! My friend and I had to literally avert our eyes from the screen as she performed. It was embarassing, uncomfortable and so unfunny. Sorry, Kid. (And don't even get me *started* on that awful, awful juggler. Are we seriously thinking about giving this guy a million dollars? Seriously??!?)

After 30 minutes of the torture, I permanently removed the show from my TIVO. I'd rather watch static on my screen than this garbage.

Tim Fri, Jun 23, 2006 at 08:31 AM EST

Too painful to watch.

And the judges? Two has-beens and a nobody!

Mark Fri, Jun 23, 2006 at 08:28 AM EST

I definitely didn't like the show. It felt like a cheap AI knockoff the whole time. I don't mind Regis, but he was annoying. The judges were even a knockoff: the Englishman with the tart tongue and honesty (Morgan), the African-American has-been who seems tonedeaf at times (Brandy) and the nonsensical guy with questionable musical credentials (Hasslehoff). And, for the most part, the show's "talent" were barely over freak show material. Syd the Kid was terrible. Everyone was just enamoured with the idea of a kid who does stand up comedy and writes their own (terrible) "material." Rapping Granny? Please! A one trick pony who will get annoying very quickly and that's the problem with most of the people they let through. With the exception of anyone who sings, what are they going to do next? What's the world's oldest stripper going to do besides take his clothes off every week? Once all the no talent "talent" get voted off you'll be left with a singing competition and, oops, that schtick has already been taken by FOX. This show is nothing more than an example that stupid people will do anything for money.

Elyse Fri, Jun 23, 2006 at 08:26 AM EST

Enough with these dumb shows already....first unanimous, or whatever that one was called and now this!?! Sounds like someone is desperate for a hit show......nothing will top Big Brother...ever.

Joe C Fri, Jun 23, 2006 at 08:09 AM EST

All right Michael, because you recommended it, I'll give it a shot. I'm not a Regis fan, but hey, there's always the mute button, lol.

Ron Fri, Jun 23, 2006 at 06:57 AM EST

It's Crap! I'm done.

:-D

LATINSOUL Thu, Jun 22, 2006 at 11:42 PM EST

The SHow was a HIT, I think the judges did an amazing job, especially Brandy, I liked how she handdled everything and was honest without being so b!tchy(I can't wait for her new album), my fav part was when the guys came singing acapella and when the girl sang Whitney's song, My whole family was watching it and they all loved it, I like the fact that it's dif from the other talent shows that have been on TV and this 1 should Def come back as a regular show for the fall season ...AGT was HOT as f@ck

FL Thu, Jun 22, 2006 at 08:57 PM EST

Where are you Jules?

FL Thu, Jun 22, 2006 at 08:56 PM EST

Hey guys anybody home?

Josh Thu, Jun 22, 2006 at 08:56 PM EST

Oh even though I enjoyed the show, I think it'd be best if NBC kept it as a summer-only series. The current plan to bring it back at midseason -- opposite the Emmy-winning "The Amazing Race" on Sundays -- is NBC's worst announced schedule move for next season.

rabbit hole Thu, Jun 22, 2006 at 08:55 PM EST

Terrible show

FL Thu, Jun 22, 2006 at 08:53 PM EST

not like ai

Josh Thu, Jun 22, 2006 at 08:53 PM EST

I enjoyed it. I don't know if I'll watch past the audition stage, but it's fun to see such a diversity of acts -- some great, some lame, most just okay. I enjoyed the judges as well as host Regis. I have to admit that I wanted to hate this show and what it stands for (BSG / VM / Office / Scrubs / AD / Grey's guy here, not a cheesy reality lover), but it came off as charming... and often like "What the f---?", but that's where most of the fun comes from.

FL Thu, Jun 22, 2006 at 08:52 PM EST

Did not care for the show

JUPITER Thu, Jun 22, 2006 at 05:45 PM EST

SHOW WAS OK

FL Thu, Jun 22, 2006 at 05:43 PM EST

DID NOT LIKE THE SHOW AT ALL

FL Thu, Jun 22, 2006 at 05:42 PM EST

no good

Sam Thu, Jun 22, 2006 at 05:33 PM EST

This show is basically Steve Harvey's Big Time, which in itself was an update of the Gong Show.

brandon218 Thu, Jun 22, 2006 at 05:31 PM EST

I'm definitely watching next week! This show is the definition of a "guilty pleasure" -- most of these contestants are train wrecks, and that's just what I want to see on my summer TV.

jcoop Thu, Jun 22, 2006 at 04:56 PM EST

i found it horrifying and cringe-inducing. there's absolutely nothing worse than a rapping granny.

Todd Thu, Jun 22, 2006 at 04:24 PM EST

No. Sure, there are some talented people in the bunch, but there is no way I want to see any of these people again. What are the basketball players going to do next time? The same thing? I think David Hasselhoff said it best (scary thing, I know) when, after he praised the ventriloquist's Godzilla act, worried about what he could possibly do to follow it up. We've seen the snapper guy, we've seen the juggler. Bored already. Do you really expect someone other than a singer to win?

And besides, do we really want to see a competition where 14-year-old singers are followed up by the world's oldest male stripper? I shudder still at the thought.

Elizabeth Thu, Jun 22, 2006 at 04:22 PM EST

I watched the show last week, but won't again. It seemed like it was wishing to be in 1950, but that came across as very presumptuous. Also, I think that Syd the Kid and the rapping granny with both frightening. No thanks.

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