Are you looking for someone to share your life with? Do you pepper every other sentence with the words “journey,” “amazing” and “right reasons”? Are your eggs rotting? Then listen up: As you may have heard, rose lovers, Juan Pablo — the sexy, soft-spoken former soccer player whom Desiree dumped on The Bachelorette — will be the star of season 18 of The Bachelor beginning this January. For some of us, this news is bittersweet, as we may already be happily married with a child and therefore theoretically ineligible to compete for Juan Pabs’ heart. But for all the single “ladies” out there, this is your moment. ABC has just released an official casting announcement that also doubles as a fantastic work of comedy writing. Read on for the casting call, as well as our in-depth analysis:
Author: Kristen Baldwin (1-10 of 135)
You guys, that just happened. I’m still all misty and swoony over that ending — yes, spoiler alert if you haven’t yet watched The Bachelorette finale and After the Final Rose — and here we were all thinking it was going to be a major downer. I know what some of you are thinking: Rebound! Contractual obligations! Other producer-driven deception and chicanery! But I don’t buy it. And not because I’m a romantic — trust me, I am the most cynical person you’ll ever meet. It should be pretty clear to anyone with eyes can see that Desiree and [name redacted for spoiler reasons] are clearly far more compatible than Desiree and Brooks ever were. Agree, disagree, or agree to disagree, rose lovers? Stay tuned for my full recap later tonight (UPDATE: Click over to read Kristen’s full Bachelorette finale recap and Chris Harrison’s exclusive Bachelorette blog), and in the meantime post your thoughts on tonight’s epic finale extravaganza below.
Wow. Am I right, rose lovers? Just wow. There’s really no way for me to discuss what just went down in Antigua without revealing some major spoilers, so I’ll just ask, did any of you see that coming? I sure didn’t. While of course there is still a chance that Des’ journey isn’t “over,” as she put it, and that some miracle occurs in part 2 of the finale that allows her to have a happily ever after, but… even if that did happen, it seems like all of the air has been sucked out of the romance balloon for our Bachelorette. I will admit, as someone who does read the “spoiler” sites, it was actually pretty nice to be surprised by this show — it hasn’t happened in a long time. Kudos, Team Bachelorette, for whatever voodoo you did to keep tonight’s events under wraps. Stay tuned for my full recap later tonight (UPDATE: Click over for Kristen’s full Bachelorette recap and Chris Harrison’s exclusive behind-the-scenes Bachelorette blog), and in the meantime let me know your thoughts on what just happened. Are you shocked, mad, sad, elated, giddy — or all of the above? What will happen next week? And this season suddenly just got a whole lot more interesting, didn’t it?
Not that I’m complaining, rose lovers, but there was an awful lot of attention paid to Juan Pablo on tonight’s Men Tell All special, don’t you think? Is it possible Team Bachelorette is conspiring to make my dream come true by anointing El Guapo the next Bachelor? I don’t suppose we’ll know the answer to that for awhile, so for now let’s focus on what we do know (mild spoilers ahead): Ben is still an a-hole, Zak is still in love with Des (for the love of God, dude, stop singing!), and Des cries a lot in the upcoming “two-part finale.” Did anyone surprise you tonight, rose lovers? I suppose Jonathan the “fantasy suite” freak did seem slightly less creepy once he apologized, and Dan (I think it was Dan?) sure came out of nowhere with that story about Ben’s baby mama in Vegas. Other than that, it was a fairly standard Tell All, but I could have done without the visit from Ali, the Mesnicks, and Ashley and JP. (If you’re not currently handing out/receiving roses, you are dead to me.) Stay tuned for my full recap later tonight (UPDATE: Click over for Kristen’s full Bachelorette: Men Tell All recap and Chris Harrison’s exclusive Bachelorette blog), but in the meantime post your thoughts about tonight’s Tell All brawl below. Go Juan Pablo!
As far as jobs go, reporting, writing, and editing stories about television is a pretty fantastic gig to have. One could almost call it a privilege — almost, because no job that includes “watching the pilot for every UPN series ever made” can realistically be called a privilege. If you haven’t noticed, we at Entertainment Weekly take television very seriously — so seriously, in fact, that I may have threatened to fire Senior Writer James Hibberd when he dared to suggest that The Wire should not be the No. 1 show on our All-Time Greatest TV list because it wasn’t commercially successful. (It’s a suggestion that was made even more appalling by the fact that Mr. Hibberd has never actually watched a full season of The Wire.) (And yes, I was kidding about firing him.) (Mostly.)
Which brings me to the matter at hand: How, exactly, did the Entertainment Weekly TV staff decide which shows deserved a spot on our All-Time top 100 list? In a word: Meetings. Lots and lots of meetings. But that’s not what you’re interested in, right? You want to hear about the rules, the process, the criteria, all the boxes a show had to tick in order to be considered worthy. It probably won’t come as a surprise to you that we had no specific formula — e.g. “ratings + length of run x Emmy wins / individual season grades” — but we did use three guiding principles while evaluating all the shows in contention: READ FULL STORY
'The Bachelorette' episode 6: 'If James gets a rose tonight, I think the group is going to collectively s--- themselves'
Well, that would almost be worth tuning in for, wouldn’t it rose lovers? But (and spoiler alert if you haven’t yet watched) Michael’s dire prediction did not come to pass, thankfully. It was still a rather dramatic evening, though, as accusations were made and denied (repeatedly), tears were shed (and not just by Des), and cameras were forced to chase the Bachelorette and her date down a secluded alley in Barcelona where Drew had dragged Des for a “private” make-out session. Stay tuned for my full recap later tonight — where, by the way, I will be griping excessively about one particularly painful cut Des made at the rose ceremony — and in the meantime let me know how you’re feeling after tonight’s leg of Desiree’s “journey.” Did she send the right guys home? Will Zak ever stop taking his clothes off? And at this point are there any imperfect places to fall in love left on earth? Post your thoughts now!
I don’t know about you, rose lovers, but my answer to that question is “right here on my couch.” Spoiler alert if you haven’t seen tonight’s episode yet, but that was one hell of a Reject Limo interview, wasn’t it? Not only was I pleasantly surprised by the results of the majorly awkward two-on-one date, but it was also heartening to see one of the nicest guys there (Chris) start to overtake Brooks as the front-runner. Stay tuned for my full recap later tonight (UPDATE: Click over for Kristen’s full Bachelorette episode 5 recap and Chris Harrison’s behind-the-scenes Bachelorette blog), and in the meantime express your joy (or, if for some reason you’re unhappy about things) anger at who went home tonight. Plus, ponder these burning Bachelorette questions: How is this only the first time in franchise history that we’re seeing contestants soak in a hot tug? Why doesn’t Team Bachelorette put hidden cameras in all of their transport vans, since they’re clearly missing some juicy stuff? And are you even remotely interested in the idea of James as the Bachelor? (I’m going to say hell no. He definitely doesn’t do it for me.)
'The Bachelorette' episode 4: 'The last thing I want to do is walk across the stage in nothing but a mankini'
I’m sorry, Drew, but you should have thought of that before you signed up to be bride bait on The Bachelorette. Some thoughts about tonight’s episode (mild spoiler alert if you haven’t yet watched): All of the guys look like death warmed over in the morning, Zak really should not pull out that guitar again if he wants to maintain momentum, and Juan Pablo twirls a mean baton. All of the Ben hatred is getting a bit tedious — though we did get a better glimpse of his a-hole attitude toward the guys tonight during the post-group date cocktail party, and it looks like next week Des will finally learn that all the guys want him dead. As for the eliminated bachelors? I can’t say I shed a tear for either one. What about you, rose lovers? Post your thoughts now, and stay tuned for my full recap later tonight. (P.S. — Can we start the Manny and Jan for Bachelor Pad 2014 campaign now?) (UPDATE: Click to read Kristen’s full Bachelorette episode 4 recap and Chris Harrison’s behind-the-scenes Bachelorette blog.)
Okay, so maybe throwing rocks isn’t the healthiest way to express to your significant other that he/she has displeased you. But hey, can you blame the poor girl? Her boyfriend went on The Bachelorette without telling her! (Mild spoiler alert for anyone who hasn’t seen tonight’s episode or the 7,381 promos ABC ran for it.) Say what you will about the lying, cheating, deceitful pig — at least his bad behavior added some much-needed drama to a dull season. Though no one expected Brian to make it to the end, it was kind of satisfying to see him escorted out by a burly production dude named Paulie. As for the rest of the evening’s events, Brooks broke a finger, Brandon broke the land-speed record for saying “I’m falling in love with you,” and Ben broke everyone’s trust (again) by stealing Des away from a group date. Stay tuned for my full recap later tonight (UPDATE: Click the link to read Kristen’s full Bachelorette episode 3 recap and Chris Harrison’s behind-the-scenes blog), but in the meantime post your thoughts on week three of Des’ “journey” below. Did it convince you to spend 12 bucks to see The Lone Ranger? Maybe if the ticket came with a free Juan Pablo…
I don’t know, Brandon — if you have to say it, wethinks you doth protest too much. If you’ve watched tonight’s episode of The Bachelorette (and mild spoiler alert if you haven’t), you’ve also witnessed perhaps the franchise’s dumbest group date ever (a bunch of white guys — and Will — shoot a “rap video”), which prompted the aforementioned quote from the half-naked, banana-hammocked Brandon. Desiree showed some admirable gumption this week — first by insisting on driving her fancy car rather than letting the guys take the wheel, and later chiding a shy suitor: “Just kiss me already!” This week’s drama, such as it was, came courtesy of Ben — or, more accurately, from all of the other guys hating on Ben — but I can’t quite get behind him as a villain. I get the distinct sense that he’s just kind of smarmy, and Team Bachelorette is frantically editing around him to make him look worse than he is because the season needs a bad guy. (Previous Bachelorette villains were far more entertaining a-holes, like Wes, Bentley, and even Rated-R.) But enough about me; what did you think of week two? Stay tuned for my full recap later tonight (UPDATE: Click over for Kristen’s full Bachelorette episode 2 recap and Chris Harrison’s behind-the-scenes blog), and let me know what measures you’re taking to get that God-awful “rap” song “Right Reasons” out of your head. Sheesh.
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