That was a pretty super weekend for Superman. Man of Steel opened in theaters, and took in $125 million in its first few days of business. That’s leaps and bounds better than what happened exactly 30 years ago today on June 17, 1983 when the crime-fighting alien suffered his darkest hour. I’m speaking, of course, about the release of Superman III, which is not only the worst Superman movie, but could also be considered the worst threequel, and arguably the worst superhero movie of all-time (although the 1990 version of Captain America with Ned Beatty might have something to say about that).
How horrific is Superman III? Allow me to describe the movie’s first scene: Some perv walks into a pole while staring at a hot blonde. Which is immediately followed by a rollerskater stumbling into a hot dog cart and pushing said cart into three telephone booths which topple like dominoes. Then a blind guy mistakes a road marking machine for his seeing eye dog and starts painting yellow circles all over the street before knocking someone into a hole and then stepping on his head, Mr. Magoo style. Oh, and then he runs face first into a tree. A paint bucket then falls onto the head of a bald man who in turn spills a gumball machine, with the escaped gumballs causing a mime—yes, a mime—to wipeout multiple times. At this point the blind guy returns and walks through a painting. How does this whole incident end? Exactly how you would expect it to end: with Clark Kent (poor Christopher Reeve) shoving a pie into some dude’s face. It’s quite possibly the most horrendous opening to any movie ever. And, yet, the best part about Superman III. READ FULL STORY »