'The Bachelorette' special: 10 things we learned from the never-before-seen footage

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Hello, rose lovers. Let me first offer my condolences for the fact that you’re currently sitting on your couch without having experienced any of the drama that typically lights up your Mondays. You know, the moments when Marcus makes you feel awkward and as though he’s willing to tattoo Andi’s name across his forehead? Or the moments when Brian warms your soul because he genuinely sucks at reading signals? Or even the moments when someone confesses yet another sob story to add to the season of sob stories? I know you miss all of it. I do, too.

But save your tears for the cameras, y’all, because we have a clip show to digest. More specifically, we need to dissect the bits of never-before-seen footage we just watched. And yes, I’m talking about how the whole house hates Nick.

Basically, after the show decided to cut last week’s rose ceremony to talk about Eric Hill, it finally gave us an inside look at what happened after Eric’s dramatic departure. Here’s what we learned:

- After Andi’s tear-filled speech to the guys, everyone wanted to be the guy to console her, but only one of them actually got to be. Spoiler: It was Nick. He felt he was best suited to handle an emotional Andi, and the rest of the group hated him for it. Specifically, Josh hated him for it. Oh, and Tasos called Nick “arrogant” and “selfish.” (Where has this Tasos been all season?)

- Andi considers her faults being “bitchy” and having a bad sense of humor at times. Notice that she did not say the word “poker” or “face.”

- With eight words, Josh let Andi in on the situation: “We all wanted to get you, trust me.” Suddenly, I kind of love Josh.

- Chris Harrison considers going to Connecticut “traveling.”

- Andi knows what she wants, and it’s not Tasos. However, it somehow is Cody and/or Andrew?

- OK, I guess I can see what Andi was saying about respecting Tasos too much to lead him on. So for those of you catching up, that means she doesn’t respect Andrew. Alright, now I’m just putting words in her mouth, but am I right or am I right?

- Tasos is either a little dramatic, or this experience really has been one of the best parts of his life. Let’s hope it’s the former.

- Andi is no longer in a funk, and she’s ready to take the guys to Marseille, where it looks like Josh and Brian (!) will get a little alone time.

- Also in Marseille, Andi might be getting fooled, and if my spidey senses are working, we could have our first cocktail-less rose ceremony of the season. (On the show — you can keep drinking on your couch, of course.)

- Next week: Nick v. Cody and Drew v. Marquel. Place your bets now, people!

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