'Reign' recap: Long may he rest

Reign-Slaughter-of-Innocence.jpg

Image Credit: Sven Frenzel/The CW

Spoiler alert: If you haven’t watched the season finale of Reign, stop reading now!

I already miss Henry. Mary and Francis are so complicated my head hurts. Plagues suck. And I still miss Julien. Shall we?

Heading into tonight’s finale, King Henry was crazier than ever, ordering everyone into the courtyard in the middle of the night so that he could identify the party that tried to kill him. And how would he do that, you ask? Something about the shadow of his sword. I promise you, it made no sense. In the end, he killed some poor dude essentially because he went to confession the day before. Things Henry has taught us: Don’t go to confession, and always lock your windows.

Back inside the castle, you knew something was terribly wrong when Mary was re-wearing a dress. She was meeting with Catherine and Francis who decided a coup was necessary to end Henry’s reign. Meanwhile, Henry had a plan of his own: He was throwing a celebration for France’s victory in Calais. He would poison Francis as the feast, ask Catherine for an annulment, and then marry Mary. Sorry dude, but Catherine figured that entire thing out the moment you groped Mary’s thigh. What can we say? The man has a tell.

Elsewhere in the castle, Leith had returned! And he had land! Francis kept good on his word, only he couldn’t grant him a title until he was king. And after saving some poor red head from an encounter with a total creeper from the king’s personal guard, Leith ran straight to Greer, who shot him down just as quickly as he arrived. He still couldn’t handle her father’s debts. She was engaged to Castleroy (who I swear looks younger every week).

At the “mock battle” celebration, Henry once again went too far, and the event ended in the death of many soldiers. Greer feared for Leith, which made their reconciliation all the better. Only, she stopped it short of sex and once again denied him. Seriously, Greer?! Someone needs to slap some sense into you! He promised her that she’d forever remember this as the moment she threw away happiness, and he would spend the rest of his life becoming rich, but he’d never be hers again. So who’s the lucky lady who gets Leith? The red head from earlier … also known as Castleroy’s daughter. So that’s awkward and sure to make Greer reevaluate her life!

On the hunt for The Darkness, Bash and Nostradamus proved to be the world’s quickest and most ridiculously (and impossibly) efficient detectives. The Darkness had the gifts of sight — so he’s Nostradamus’ brother, right? — and claimed a plague was coming if he didn’t get a successor. He wanted Pascal, but instead, Bash put a hatchet in his head. After all that, The Darkness really was just a guy? And at that, he was a short aging guy? Step up your villain game here, Reign.

Speaking of villains, Henry had organized another celebration after death had ruined the first one. There, Mary arrived wearing the English Coat of Arms, which set off multiple alarms. But more than anything, it made Henry jealous of the attention, so he decided he would joust. This is where I turned to my roommate and said, “How hilarious would it be if they killed Henry right here?” Spoiler: They did. More specifically, Francis killed his father by sticking some wood through his eye and into his brain. It’s not the worst way he could’ve gone, but I would’ve preferred he die during sex. But hey, that’s just one girl’s opinion.

On his death bed — wood in his brain and all — Henry said his goodbyes to Catherine, which were actually very sweet. “In my way, I have always loved you,” he told her. She told him that he was the love of her life. But then he ruined the moment by asking that Catherine show kindness to Diane. Yeah, what do you want to bet that’s not going to happen? And then, we finally learned all about the tennis-playing ghost. It was Francis, Henry’s older brother. Francis was going to be king before Henry poisoned his water during a tennis game. Now, Henry was ready to let that go. And then Henry died.

Out in the hallway, everyone kneeled to Francis in honor of the king’s death, but when Bash went to kneel in front of Francis, the new king picked up his big brother and hugged him in what might be my favorite moment of the episode. I need more of these two!

Away from the castle, Lola was in labor and without a midwife. Her life was in danger, so she had a woman write to Mary for her. The letter — which could not have been written that quickly — told Mary to care for the baby as if it were her own. It also gave Mary permission to tell Francis the truth, which Mary did upon receiving it. Mary sent Francis to Lola’s side before she realized that the plague The Darkness spoke of was spreading. Catherine had ordered the castle be locked down, and Mary got to Francis in time to stop him. Too bad the new king wanted to rule with his heart. And despite the speech Mary just gave about fearing she was “growing harder” as a ruler and a person, she ordered the guards to lower the gates after Francis left. Now that was cold. “Go enjoy your baby and your plague, honey!”

In other news, Bash and Kenna are in love! But Julien is still gone, so I’m not as happy as I could be.

What did you all think of the finale?

QUOTEABLES :

“Who’s manning the guns? A pet monkey?” -Henry when the ship sinks after someone couldn’t aim their cannons

“This is why the people love a joust: Seeing nobles knocked on their asses after a long war.” -Catherine

Latest Videos

Advertisement

TV Recaps

Powered by WordPress.com VIP