By now, we all know that Beyoncé is part of the Illuminati… or is she?
When video footage of Bey’s sister Solange kicking Jay Z was released, conspiracy theorists everywhere had the new fodder they’ve been looking for: An opportunity to make up more rumors about what’s really going on in Beyoncé‘s life.
Beyoncé is no stranger to these nutty theories. In fact, there are so many out-there ones that we’ve gathered together the most popular and sprinkled in our own completely made-up, baseless rumors about Queen B. Warning to all the gossipmongers out there: Nothing below is true. (Probably.)
One rumor from each group of three is false. Guess which ones EW made up, then scroll to the bottom of the post to see how well you know your Beyoncé rumors.
A) Beyoncé‘s alter ego, Sasha Fierce, is based on her estranged twin sister, who was shunned by the Knowles family
B) Beyoncé had an affair with President Obama
C) Beyoncé appeared to be onstage throughout her 2013 Super Bowl performance, but a hologram actually stood in for her during part of it
A) Kelly Rowland is Beyoncé‘s sister
B) Beyoncé was born in Canada, not Houston — where she claims she was born and raised
C) Beyoncé isn’t 32, the age she claims to be
A) An editor from Harper’s Bazaar found out that Beyoncé was actually caring for the baby her father had with his mistress. Beyoncé didn’t want anyone to know that, so she traded a cover story with a revealing focus on her pregnancy for a deal that they wouldn’t run the story about raising her father’s child
C) Beyoncé only agreed to be on the cover of Shape magazine in 2013 because the magazine’s parent company had attained photos of her deceased former bodyguard pleasuring himself to Bey’s photo. She didn’t want the picture getting out, so she traded a cover for a deal that they wouldn’t run the image
C) Solange is actually Beyoncé‘s daughter, not her little sister
A) The Illuminati killed Aaliyah because they wanted her out of the organization, and they wanted Beyoncé to replace her
B) Whitney Houston was murdered by the Illuminati as a sacrifice so that Beyoncé‘s child, Blue Ivy, could live
C) Illuminati member Tupac was murdered by the Illuminati in 1996, the same year Destiny’s Child was signed by Columbia Records, because they wanted Beyoncé — but knew she wouldn’t join if Tupac was involved, due to a family-related feud
A) Beyoncé was never pregnant with her daughter, Blue Ivy
B) Destiny Child’s member Michelle Williams was Beyoncé‘s surrogate
C) Blue Ivy is the spawn of satan
A) Beyoncé is trying to rid society of their memory of Jesus so she can replace him
B) Beyoncé is possessed by a demonic entity
C) Beyoncé was excommunicated from her family’s church in 2008 under suspicion of satanic activity
1. A; 2. B; 3. A; 4. C; 5. B; 6. C