'Reign' recap: Bromance on the battlefield, romance at the castle

REIGN-FRANCIS.jpg

Image Credit: Ben Mark Holzberg/The CW

Can we talk about Julien for a moment? He’s like this show’s little Henry Cavill, and I’m so in love with him. Yes, he’s super hot — hence the Cavill comparison — but he’s also so sweet and sincere. Now that Henry’s gone crazy, I think Julien would have to be the Reign man I’d want to marry, followed closely by Leith, obviously. But enough about me, let’s talk about royal stuff!

Away from the castle, Francis spent the episode trying to secure the road to Calais, which meant taking on the English and “advancing to our bloody castle.” Do the French say “bloody?” I’m not sure, but he looked so cute with his hair sticking out from under his helmet that I didn’t even care. But of course, fighting the English resulted in multiple casualties, one large explosion, and most importantly, a new bromance between Francis and Leith! After Leith saved Francis’ life, Francis returned the favor, along with a promise: When they get back to the castle, Francis will grant Leith land and a title so that he can be with the woman he loves, a.k.a. Greer! That, of course, is bad news for adorable Lord Castleroy, but something tells me he’ll bounce back just fine. Pepper will always be there for him?

Oh, and France was successful! Who knew one flaming arrow could win an entire battle? Well, Francis did, technically.

At the castle, Mary had received word that her mother was under attack and needed money to get the hell out of dodge. Marie de Guise reached out to Catherine claiming that she’d once helped her in a similar situation, but Catherine wasn’t falling for Mary’s speech about female rulers sticking together. I mean, friends don’t let friends get trapped in a tower by a bloodthirsty army, am I right? Well, not according to Catherine who claimed she didn’t have a secret stash of money to lend to Marie. Guess it’s time to call in the hot new mercenary then!

Mary had hired a mercenary to steal Catherine’s money for her mother. His plan was impressive, but not as impressive as his ability to disappear. Spoiler: He’s an angel. But in all seriousness, he kidnapped Catherine, who proved to be the most talkative victim in history, before she offered to double what Mary was paying him if he would bring her the head of the person responsible for her kidnapping. But it would take more than money to shake up a man that large. Instead, he told Mary to find someone to pin this on. Luckily, Catherine’s awful cousin — Potenza? I could not tell what they were calling her — was in town and made the perfect scapegoat. So yeah, he cut off Potenza’s — I’m going for it! — head and delivered it to Catherine before delivering Catherine’s money to Mary. Correction: He would be delivering the money straight to Scotland with the help of Potenza’s men. They were Mary’s monsters now! Update: Some of you think her name was Hortensia, which is probably correct, so thank you!

Random question: How do you return someone alive but in pieces, Mary?

In the less exciting (but more romantic) goings on at the castle, Lola, Julien, Bash, and Kenna had formed a little foursome. They played soccer together … until Lola’s cramps got in the way. She was ordered to rest up, but when Lola found out that the banker had transferred her dowry to Julien, she told Kenna that she was worried. Bash, who knew Julien wasn’t the father of Lola’s baby, looked into it and found out that Julien had planned a “hunting trip” for that evening, only he hadn’t ordered any hunting gear.

Lola tried to stop Julien from leaving. She told him that he could keep her for less than he might imagine — which doesn’t sound nearly romantic and sweet as it was — but he didn’t believe it. “You’re everything I ever dreamed of,” he told her as he left. But once at the carriage, he couldn’t leave. He returned to Lola to tell her everything. He’d fallen out with his family and had no money of his own. He had married her and planned to leave her and live off her money. But he’d come to love her. “All I have to offer you is me,” he said. Which, just for the record, is more than enough for me, Julien. Lola once again told him that she’d be happy leading a simpler life. He promised to win back her trust in time. No more lies.

Other important tidbit: Greer thinks of Leith every day!

What did you all think of the episode? Are you as into Julien (and Leith’s return) as I am? I think I could get on board with the adorable castle couples all hanging out. And as for the crazy stuff, there’s nothing like a good decapitation on a Thursday night. Tell me your thoughts in the comments below!

QUOTABLES: 

“I think you redefined marital discord.” -Greer to Mary about her politics-filled teenage marriage

“Forgive me Father, since my last confession, I have taken the Lord’s name in vain many times and ordered the assassination of a dozen Scottish visitors.” -Catherine

“I suppose innocence is all relative.” -Catherine

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