'Arrow' recap: Mama knows best

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Image Credit: Katie Yu/The CW

Spoiler alert: If you haven’t watched the April 23 episode of Arrow, stop reading now! Seriously. Stop. You’ll regret it. Don’t even glance down a little bit. I mean it.

Wow. Just wow. For some reason, it never occurred to me that Slade would re-enact Ollie’s island choice with Thea and Moira, but it made perfect sense. That being said, his decision to do it with the world’s biggest sword — that appeared as if from nowhere — was interesting, but that doesn’t matter right now. No matter how it happened, Moira is dead, and I’m heartbroken. She sacrificed herself for her children, and my heart is still pounding. Before it stops beating altogether, let’s rehash what just happened:

While the Star Labs team was still working on a Mirakuru cure, Roy was hanging out all unconscious at Arrow headquarters. Well, he was for like two minutes before he woke up, broke Felicity’s computers, body-checked Diggle, and hit the streets in his red hoodie. It was unfortunate, because Sara and Ollie were currently enjoying a naked party for two at a hotel room that he could no longer afford. Luckily, he still had a few connections (and by connections, he meant women who’ve seen him naked). Ollie mentioned getting a new place together, as in moving in together, but before any real discussion could commence, they got interrupted with the whole “Roy is attacking random people on the streets” thing.

So while Sara and Ollie hit their motorcycles to try and find Roy — who found and attacked Sin — Moira was giving an interview about why she was pulling ahead in the polls. Her reasoning: Sebastian Blood is not a parent. The interview seemed to be going well, until Thea showed up and tried to tell her mother that she couldn’t have her rally at Verdant. OK Moira, I know you’re new at this, but do not have this conversation within reach of a recorder. Come on, now.

But none of that actually ended up mattering, because when Moira realized she had to choose between being a candidate and a parent, she told Blood that she would use her rally to concede.

This week’s flashback took us back to Ollie’s slightly more tolerable pre-island hair that existed seven years ago. You know, back when Laurel thought they were the perfect couple but he’d really been cheating on her and had accidentally gotten another girl knocked up? Yep, that happened. Thankfully, Oliver’s (smokin’ hot) mom knew just what to do. She offered said girl $2 million to tell Ollie she’d lost the baby and then move back to Central City and never return. All of this gave Ollie and Moira an amazing mother-son moment where she told her “beautiful boy” that he was “never without” her. Of course, all of that was made more poignant and heartbreaking by the fact that Moira was dead by episode’s end, but I’ll get back to that later.

With Diggle on Thea protection, Sara and Ollie went after Roy, who was hanging out at Sara and Sin’s “home” of a clock tower. Roy knocked Sara our first before Oliver took off his mask and begged Roy to use his soul. Instead, Roy chose to break Oliver’s leg, bust a hole in the floor, run away, kill one cop, and seriously injure another. Talk about bad life choices, Roy.

Now with a messed up knee, Oliver wasn’t able to stop Sara when she grabbed a gun and went after Roy. Her plan? To combat the Mirakuru with a headshot. After she left, Ollie and Felicity had a heart-to-heart where he talked about how much Sara reminded him of himself when he first got back from the island, when he found it impossible to believe in anything even resembling hope. But Felicity reminded him that he came around, and Sara would too. But would she?

After Sin spilled the beans to Thea about how Roy was shot up with a drug, the camera cut to Roy, who was hallucinating his reunion with Thea, in which she apologized for ignoring his cries for help and begged him to kill her. Because she deserved to be punished. I’ve had negative thoughts about my exes before, but this was bad. Thankfully, it was time for Moira’s rally, so Thea was safe with Diggle watching her every move at Verdant.

Speaking of Moira’s rally, when Ollie found out that his mother was going to drop out of the race, he went to her and begged her to show Thea that she could do something good … as mayor. He told her that he understood the importance of sacrificing people close to you for the good of the city. And that’s when she said it: Moira knows!! She told Oliver that she’s known he’s the Arrow since the night of the undertaking! And then she told him that she could not be more proud! Dang, mom’s really do know everything, don’t they?!

And like that, Moira decided to stay in the race. And Thea decided to lure Roy to her with a quick speech supporting her mom on TV. P.S. Thea’s not old enough to drink, right? Because I’m pretty sure she just cheers’d the whole city on live TV with a glass of champagne. So maybe that wasn’t the best example of parenting, Moira.

Moments later — what was he, like a block away? — Roy showed up and started taking names. Can we talk about how hard he hit Diggle?! I panicked for a second thinking his neck had snapped! When he got to Thea, Roy started to strangle her before Sara pulled a gun on him. But Sin stepped in her way. Chaos ensued, and things ended with a bullet hole in Roy’s knee and a bunch of Tibetan viper venom in his chest. The good news is that Roy’s soul is obviously still in there based on how he begged Sara to kill him. God, that was a depressing bit of “good news,” wasn’t it? Sorry about that.

After the “fisticuffs” as Felicity put it, she went to grab food, and Sara broke up with Ollie. She told him that she had been ready to kill Roy. She’d “wanted to kill Roy. Because that’s what I do. That’s who I am.” To be fair, she was in the League of Assassins, so that kind of is literally who she is. She told him that she “spent six years in the darkness, and I looked into the eyes of the devil, and I gave him my soul.” Ollie wanted to help her get it back, but she told him he deserved someone better. “I just care about you too much to be with you,” she said as she left. And where was she going? To see an old friend. Wait, what old friend? I’m worried. Is Sara bad? Or is she going back to Nyssa?

After the rally, the Queens gathered in a limo to go home, where they talked about the real problem in their family: secrets. So with that in mind, Moira was about to tell both of her children something important about Malcolm when, in a moment that made me gasp, Slade slammed into the side of their car. They really should put seat belts in limos (or perhaps just wear them).

By the time Ollie woke up, they were all in the woods, and Slade had a gun loaded. He had missed the show the first time — death will do that to you — but now he was ready to see Ollie’s face as he made a choice between two women he loved. This entire scene was so well done and so, so intense. I got chills just watching Ollie and Slade argue about how Shado was Ollie’s and how he chose Sara over her. But what was with the moment when Ollie said, “That’s not what happened!” and Slade claimed it was because “she told me.” He pointed to the woods as if someone was there, but there wasn’t anyone there, which as some of you pointed out, was referencing Slade’s hallucination of Shado.

When Ollie begged Slade to “Kill me. Choose me,” Slade explained that he was killing him, “only more slowly than you would like.” And before Ollie could choose, Moira stood up. She knew there was only one way the night would end. She told Slade that both her children would live before she told Thea she loved her and to close her eyes. Slade admired her courage, something she did not pass on to her son. And for that, she didn’t deserve a bullet, but instead, an enormous blade to the heart. Then Slade cut Thea free as he made some ominous threat about there still being “one person who has to die before this can end.” HOW WAS THIS NOT A SEASON FINALE?!

So what did you think? Best ending to an episode yet, right? And who is the other person who has to die? Sara? And who’s the old friend Sara’s running to? Also, when is Oliver’s child going to show up? And what was Moira going to say about Malcolm? Finally, who’s free to come hold me? Sound off in the comments below!

QUOTABLES: 

“How can you be unconscious and freak me out at the same time?” -Felicity to Roy

“Please tell me that you’re not thinking about Roy right now.” -Naked Ollie to naked Sara

Laurel: You’re cute when you’re mopey.
Ollie: I’m not mopey.
Laurel: Mopey’s your default, Ollie. It’s part of your smoldering charm.
Ollie: I do have smoldering charm.

“It’s not like you can buy this stuff over counter … unless you’re in Tibet. Then maybe.” -Felicity about the Tibetan viper venom they used on Roy

“Anyone else crave dim sum after fisticuffs?” -Felicity

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