Everyone stop panicking, because we’ve found Will Gardner! He isn’t dead after all! He’s simply having a bit of a mid-life crisis, guys, and it’s OK. I have a plan to get him back to his rightful home on The Good Wife.
In a segment titled “The Foodroom” on Inside Amy Schumer, we find Will struggling with his new career choice. As Amy tells him in the clip, he’s damaged goods, and we all know why. Clearly, he was mistaken for dead and then forced to leave Chicago (and Alicia) behind. Plus, he was obviously forced to change his name to J.J.
Now, he’s stuck in an unhappy relationship with Amy Schumer while he works as a manager at a fast food restaurant and tries to relive his glory days. He even walks around giving inspirational speeches like he’s still working a courtroom. It breaks my heart.
Here’s some perspective for you: Old Will had a nice apartment, a comfortable bed — right Alicia? — and spent his days fighting for justice. The new Will has a bassist as a roommate, sleeps on a futon, and spends his days fighting for obesity. But one thing we can hold onto: He still knows how to clear a
Watch the Newsroom-esque clip below (bestowed upon you by Aaron Sorkin):
So here’s the plan: It’s only a matter of time until Will realizes how unhappy he is. A busload of children coming through the drive-thru can only sustain him for so long. And when that time comes, he’s going to need something to trigger his decision. Cue Peter!
In a few months, Peter is going to need a getaway and find himself stopping for some fast food at McDalmond’s. And when Will goes to take out the trash, he’ll make eye contact with the man who got to marry the woman of his dreams. Peter, thinking Will is dead, will slowly get out of the car. He’ll walk over to Will, still in shock. And when he says, “How are you alive?” all of Will’s old feelings will come flooding back to him. He will punch Peter in the face, and then leave him on the ground as he hops into Peter’s car and drives straight back to Chicago and into Alicia’s arms.
So enjoy you while you have him, Amy Schumer, because that man knows where he belongs.
(But in reality, that clip is really funny.)