Hidden Gems of the 2014 Pizza Oscars

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Image Credit: ABC

These Oscars were unusually lacking in memorable reaction shots — perhaps Amy Adams’ quick iPhone-check sums up the whole show?

Below, my quick play-by-play of the Oscars’ (arguably) least significant details:

I’m enjoying the symmetry between Anna Kendrick’s waistline and Amy Adams’ earrings:anna_amy

If Lupita Nyong’o’s earrings are attached to her headband, her Cinderella story will be complete:
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AmEx commercial scandal: None of Tina Fey’s credit card charges actually go through.
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The Oscars sponsored by… Haribo? So many gummies!
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“No, no, I won’t get up.” -Meryl Streep to Pharrell’s hat
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Amy Adams’ killer dance move would turn out to be her shiniest moment:
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Alright alright alright. There he is. How could someone so “dirty-pretty” look so shiny and clean?
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One of my favorite Oscar Cams so far is Travolta, Cumberbatch, and Oh Thank God That’s a Hat:
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Better tone down the humor, Ellen, or Julia Roberts is going to eat Meryl Streep!
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Cate Blanchett and Blue Jasmine costar Sally Hawkins team up to wear the most expensive tablecloth in the world: Screen Shot 2014-03-02 at 9.22.17 PM

Jared Leto then and now: “He leans great.”
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Fun fact for youngsters: Kim Novak was such an Elsa back in the day.
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How the heck did Ellen miss pregnant Kerry Washington during her initial pizza lovers roundup?
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Just one of many mid-show deep cuts to TV’s Rust Cohle. “Montage is the cruelest animal,” he’s probably thinking:
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Jennifer Lawrence seems to be a House of Cards fan after Kevin Spacey’s in-character intro. She’s kind of a house of cards herself whenever she wears high heels.
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Is that a tiny diamond watch on Tyler Perry’s lapel? (No one cares; I agree this one is the worst):
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Amy Adams mirrors my own review of the Oscars at the halftime buzzer:
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Jesus photo-bombs the rich and powerful at Ellen’s Selfie Station:
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Two collar-stars lift Michael B. Jordan’s tie into a shy smile:
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Lupita Nyong’o: Your dreams (of maximum statue sparkle) are valid!
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Delivery’s here! Thank God. Some of those pizza waiters were HOT.
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Ellen’s Glinda costume evokes both “Burger Queen” and “butterfly”:
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While a tickled Edge (of U2, and what a concept, a tickled edge) rivaled June Squibb for Most Sparkly:
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I don’t remember Jennifer Garner and Benedict Cumberbatch’s characters in The Great Gatsby, but they must have been there amidst the elaborate production design. Happy sigh for that illustrious tiered fringe!
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Idina Menzel’s bracelet won’t “Let It Go” (her ring):
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Jessica Biel’s gown was replete in ’90s/Saved by the Bell confetti:
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An exclusive close-up of how politics work:
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I like how Bill Murray shakes an imaginary tambourine instead of clapping:
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Ooh, Laura Dern’s hair. If this had been Amy Jellicoe’s ‘do, maybe Enlightened wouldn’t have been cancelled? Screen Shot 2014-03-02 at 9.15.03 PM

The handsomest hug of all time?
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Waiter, my ass! Brad Pitt eagerly chows down along with the rest of us content-starved bloggers:
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‘Til next time, pizza lovers! Which screen gems did I miss tonight?

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