Ski slopestyle Olympic bronze medalist Nick Goepper is currently holding a contest on social media to win a date with him. Because his two biggest fans at EW.com, Mandi Bierly and Samantha Highfill, have officially bowed out — one of us is twice his age, both of us need someone old enough to drink* — we’ve decided the least we could do is offer the 19-year-old Indiana native some professional insight into which lucky lady deserves a sleigh ride with him. (Yes, that’s one of the options he’s mentioned.) Of what we’ve seen — we could only call this “work” for so long — here are the top #iwanttodatenick contenders.
Pros: She wrote a wholly original song that she plays on the ukulele. She knows enough about him and his sport (tall tees and no poles!) to make her chorus clever and catchy: “Ooh, Nick Goepper, I’m coming in switch/ I’d do anything to be the girl you pick…” She doesn’t take herself or this potential date too seriously. She’s super cute but not trying too hard (props for the tiny hint of cleavage).
Cons: There are none, which is why she’s our fave.
Memorable Moment: When she subtly proposes a
orgy double date with two of his teammates.
Pros: The vocals on her special rendition of Frozen‘s “Let It Go” are outstanding. Her lyrics are charming and informative — we learn about her.
Cons: Her parents’ living room is a little stuffy, and we’d have ended the video after the song.
Memorable Moment: When she references his gorgeous hair and how much TV she watches. Both are important to us.
Pros: It’s nice to know that the youth of America still knows the Proclaimers’ “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles).” Not only did she write new lyrics to it, she RECORDED HARMONIES. Also, the hilarious group skiing.
Cons: Someone’s finger is in the frame in one shot. A little cheesy at times (the literal falling in love).
Memorable Moment: The blooper at the end. Worth watching for.
Pros: She went full-on music video to her Nick-centric cover of Taylor Swift’s “You Belong With Me” — and shot it in public. That means she could have just killed her chance to date any guy on her college campus for the rest of the semester.
Cons: Since Goepper asked Taylor Swift to be his Valentine, Swift is an obvious choice. Though we loved the lyrics she changed, she could have done more.
Memorable Moment: Running with the American flag, plus a Torah Bright-esque shoulder shimmy to boot.
Pros: She’s got a beautiful voice, and the lyrics, set to Jason Mraz’s “I’m Yours,” are also pretty catchy: “Well, you won in Sochi and you bet I felt it/The slopes are so chill, but you’re so hot that they melted.”
Cons: She should have stopped after the song as well.
Memorable Moment: “I’m not gonna lie I don’t know how to ski/But I got a major in biology.”
Pros: Instead of Swift, she opted for a new rendition of Eminem’s “The Real Slim Shady,” which earns her points — especially when the chorus kicks in.
Cons: She looks a little young, and she sacrifices rhythm to include his life story.
Memorable moment: One more back flip and she’d have landed in the shed.
Pros: Another Swift ditty: “We Will Never Ever Be Bored Together.” Voice is solid, scarf and glasses are great, and just when you ask yourself why she ends with something that doesn’t rhyme — “We are perfect/please let me be your Valentine” — she adds, “I know that didn’t rhyme.”
Cons: We were a bit preoccupied trying to figure out where she recorded this (doctor’s office?), and she’s thinking past the first (and most likely only) date. Also, bronze doesn’t rhyme with France, no matter how you pronounce it.
Memorable moment: “I love Jesus, you love him, too/And I’d love to take skiing lessons with you.”
Pros: Her organizational skills: She got her sorority to serenade him with a new version of their recruitment song. Her friends clearly like her enough to treat this as seriously as they would a homecoming skit. And presumably, this means she can’t play the guitar, so she found a creative fix.
Cons: You need to adjust your volume. Her personality gets a bit lost in all the head-bobbing.
Memorable moment: [WHOOOOOOOO!]
We have to give Hannah Cain a shout-out for editing together Nick’s TV interviews for her own Q & A. Best exchange is at :50. “What do you think of the other girls?” “Piles of trash, like retired landfills.” Amazing.
Isabelle Parshall cut right to the chase with an earnest cover of “Afternoon Delight.”
We want Corey Bates’ backyard.
Kristen Keefer managed to wear a crown at Disney World and not refer to herself as a princess.
And another fearless public spectacle from Bachelor fan Kristine.
UPDATE: You’re right, Sarah Greenlee, we should have included your day with a cardboard Goepper.
PSA: Be careful out there, ladies.
— erin dinunzio (@little_dinunzio) February 18, 2014
* Call us in two years.