'Reign' react: Drama Queen

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Image Credit: Sven Frenzel/The CW

First things first, I’d like to announce that I’m now officially on the market for a large barrel-sized bathtub, because that bath — poison aside — looked absolutely heavenly. But we needn’t get caught up on my shopping habits. Instead, let’s talk about Clarissa’s big reveal, Bash’s love confession, all the Queen’s lies and and the Queen’s schemes!

Just as Mary told Bash that the baby was safe with Henry away, a woman ran in exclaiming, “Henry’s back,” — unfortunate timing — and he’d brought the Medici family with him (Catherine’s peeps). Apparently, the Pope had refused to see Henry about legitimizing Bash, which is why he’d now turned to plan b, which involved fake adultery and decapitation, as all good plan b’s do. He was lining up the Queen’s enemies and preparing them to lie about having witnessed her (fake) affair with Nostradamus, who was currently in the dungeon. But the Queen wasn’t going to let her husband and his new prosecutor, Richard, scare her …

… Clarissa, on the other hand, scared the crap out of her during a late-night visit. The not-so-ghostly girl threatened the Queen, who then went to visit her non-lover Nostradamus to find out more about this mystery girl. Turns out, Clarissa had been born with a birthmark on her face and was taken to Nostradamus’ father for some experimentation. Long story short, he deformed her and lied to the child’s mother claiming that she had died of natural causes, hence Nostradamus feeling responsible for her all these years later. Wait, are those tears in Catherine’s eyes? Oh, is it because you WERE having an affair all those years ago with the man now posing as the prosecution?! Welcome to the castle, Richard! Sorry to hear that your love child with Catherine was deformed and now lives her days in the walls of the castle. Also, the King is going to kill you now. Goodbye, Richard!

But before we get any further, I have to address the love scene between the King and Queen. In a break from all of the fighting — and before Henry found out about Richard — the two tried to remember the naive kids they once were, back when they were in love. And in a very Rapunzel-esque moment, Henry had Catherine take down her hair. Then they hit the sack. I don’t know about you all, but in a choice between Francis and Bash, I’d choose Henry every time.

And speaking of lovebirds, we can’t forget about Bash and Mary. Still trying to find their footing in this whole relationship thing, it was clear Mary was still a little hesitant toward her new fiancé. Bash asked her if she thought things would be different between them if he had been her betrothed all those years ago, if she had come to him with her heart open. It was an idea she thought about all day, up until the point when she and Bash witnessed the King kill one of his guards in cold blood simply because the guard was going to tell the truth about Diane being a Pagan. After that, Bash went to Mary again and told her that he didn’t care about England. He’s “only interested in claiming you.” The bastard son then offered to kill anyone who threatens, terrorizes, or harms Mary, even if that person is the King. Bash doesn’t play by the rules. He’s not Francis. And Mary finally accepted that. Bash frightens her. He exhilarates her, challenges her. He doesn’t have to be Francis. And why not? Because her heart is open to him. Cue the kiss!

I have to say: 1) This reminded me so incredibly much of this. And 2) I’m starting to like Bash and Mary. Frary fans, don’t abandon me! I still think Mary loves Francis, and I want them together, but I’m at least starting to see something with Bash. That being said, I want more everyday interaction. Is it odd that I feel like Bash and Mary never flirt? It seems it’s all or nothing — either Bash is professing his love and willingness to kill his father, or nothing. So there’s more work to be done, but I am starting to at least see that there’s another side to this. Hey, aren’t love triangles fun?!

All this brings me right back around to the bath. You know, the one where Catherine decided that if she was going to poison herself, she might as well take Mary with her? Catherine poisoned them both before Clarissa arrived to save both Mary and her mother. Finally, we saw Clarissa’s face! But not for long. She ran off just as the guards busted in, and Bash pulled Mary from the bathtub. So was that the first time he saw her naked? That had to kind of be a bummer, right? Although I did love that moment.

All nudity aside, Catherine’s head is back on the chopping block, this time for attempting to kill Mary (though personally I think it should be for ruining that amazing bath).

So what did you all think of the episode? Are you missing Francis? Are you loving Bash? Is Catherine going to last much longer? And how shocked were you to find out that Bash has vampire hearing? Sound off in the comments!

QUOTABLES:

“Hello, old friend. Too bad you didn’t see this one coming.” -Catherine to a tied up Nostradamus

“Even the way I put you to death fails to meet your standards.” -Henry to Catherine

“Who ties the hands of the King, other than a select lusty few?” -Catherine to Henry


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