'The Bachelor' premiere: Dog Lover, Free Spirit, and other ambiguous 'job' titles

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Image Credit: ABC

What would you want your “occupation” chyron to say if you were on The Bachelor? (Just go with it.)

I’d be fine with “Beach Stroller,” “Cheese Whisperer,” or “TV Recapper,” all of which are true depending on the hour. If we’re going for every-second-of-every-day accuracy, though? “Bum.”

Here are the most creative job titles of The Bachelor: Juan Pabs premiere (read our full recap here):

Dog Lover

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WHO? WHO PAYS YOU TO LOVE DOGS?

Free Spirit
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From a Wealthy Neighborhood

Former NBA Dancer
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Goes to a Lot of Castings

Massage Therapist
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Nut!

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No idea, but her bra isn’t as good as she is at her job, and she looks like Christine Taylor here.

Mineral Coordinator
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If you say so….

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We have confirmation from Hank.

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Juan Pablo, 25, “Sports and Entertainment Consultant”/”Lifeguard”

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Sean Lowe, older man, “Therapist”

Read Kristen Baldwin’s hilarious recap of the premiere here!

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