Eat Rip your heart out, Lost, because Once Upon a Time creators Adam Horowitz and Edward Kitsis have a new island to play with called Neverland and a new group of survivors to gift with some hefty daddy issues and crazy plot twists. And we saw the result of their tomfoolery in Sunday night’s episode, because, as it turns out, Peter Pan is Rumplestiltskin’s father, and thus, Twue Believuh Henry’s great-grandfather.
Which means… practically everyone is related to Henry now. The Evil Queen is his adoptive mother. Rumplestiltskin is his grandfather (and so is Prince Charming, for that matter). Captain Hook is his biological mother’s possible lover, and his grandfather’s wife’s onetime lover. What are we going to learn next, that Granny’s his sister and Red’s his, er, grand-niece? Is that what they’re called?
But shhh. Just believe, Oncers, believe, and sprinkle on some of that pixie dust, because it’s time to face it: Like the Lost Boys who can never leave Neverland, we can never go back to simpler times. The only thing left to do is to take a look back at how far we’ve traveled — from the Enchanted Forest to Wonderland to that one time we went to Dr. Frankenstein’s black-and-white world — and examine the best, most outrageous twists Once has thrust upon us.
Below, our picks for the top 10 most bonkers moments of the series that would drive even the Mad Hatter madder:
1. Prince Charming is not Prince Charming, because the original Prince Charming is a twin who died in a duel.
Come on, it’s not like they were going to make him not charming, right? So obviously, they had to make him not a prince. It’s the next best thing!
2. Little Red Riding Hood is the Wolf.
Admit it: This was an awesome twist. Not only did we get to see Red go all badass on us and save the prince in fairybacks, but we also got some wicked mythology for her backstory while we waited for the Storybrooke drama to straighten itself out.
3. Maleficent was being kept underground beneath Storybrooke as a dragon for the entire first season.
What?! A dragon?! Awesome! (Wait, no, not so awesome. Oh God, the CGI on this show.) Dragons aren’t necessarily nutty when it comes to fairy tales, but it’s definitely nutty when it’s a dragon stored under a quaint Maine town for 22 episodes (and 28 years, if we’re counting everything that happened before Emma arrived).
4. Pinocchio is a gruff, sexy writer who tracked down Baelfire and helped save Emma.
Oh, August. When you rode into Storybrooke on that motorcycle and captured Emma’s heart, we were so sure you were going to stick around (pardon the pun) for a while. And then you turned into Pinocchio and transformed back into a little boy by the end of your arc. We’re still crushed about that twist. Splintered, if you will.
5. Dr. Whale is Dr. Frankenstein
Because why not?
6. Baelfire, Rumpelstiltskin’s son, is Henry’s father.
How else could we tie good ol’ Rumpy into the family tree without this connection? This twist meant added motivation for the animosity among Rumple, Emma, and the Evil Queen, and also heightened the stakes. That said, the stakes are always heightened when it comes to family, which is again why everyone’s family now.
7. Cora was Wonderland’s Queen of Hearts.
8. Regina’s soul mate is Robin Hood.
Fine, there is really no explanation for this one. It’s as if the Once writers went, “Look, we need Regina to do something to make Tinkerbell mad, right guys?” so naturally they landed on the subject of love. And poof! Robin Hood appeared. Like magic! (Maid Marian who?)
9. Mulan is bisexual.
We award this one Best Last Minute Twist Before a Character Disappears. Mulan was in love with Philip and then fell in love with Aurora. We just wish they expanded on this instead of having her run off with the Merry Men immediately after having her heart broken. Alas.
10. Peter Pan — a villain — is Rumple’s father.
We guess this makes him more compelling as a villain, but the premise is just bizarre, even for a story line that takes place on an evil Neverland with a ragged Tinkerbell and a Marilyn Manson-voiced shadow demon. Either way, this twist got the job done — it certainly made our jaws drop and finally tied the characters together.
Honorable Mention: Grumpy/Dreamy/Leroy hatched from an egg. Actually, all dwarves hatch from eggs. …See #5 and #7.
What’s your take, PopWatchers? What crazy moment did we miss, and which one’s your favorite?