Fresh off the one-two box office success of The Conjuring and Insidious: Chapter 2, director James Wan is hard at work on a movie that will presumably feature significantly less ghosts, unless it turns out that The Rock’s triceps are haunted. Fast & Furious 7 is currently filming towards a summer 2014 release date. The last film ended with a mid-credits teaser introducing new villain Jason Statham. Little is known about Statham’s character, Ian Shaw, beyond the fact that he is the brother of Fast 6 baddie Owen Shaw. But in a new picture posted to Twitter, Wan offers a window into the new baddie’s soul:
— James Wan (@creepypuppet) October 7, 2013
It’s Monday and we’re all too busy to construct elaborate hypothetical musings about what this new information means for the plot of Fast & Furious 7. But suffice it to say that Statham’s character, who is British, apparently drives an Aston Martin. And we all know that the Aston Martin is the iconic preferred automobile of James Bond, famous British superagent.
Therefore, ipso facto, thusly: Fast & Furious 7 will end with Vin Diesel celebrating his victory over Jason Statham, perhaps sipping a mai tai on a remote tropical beach while “Danza Kudoro” plays on the soundtrack, when suddenly an Aston Martin DB5 drives up to him, with machine guns pointing out of the front wing, and you see that the driver is Sean Connery, who says, “You shun of a bitsch, you killed both of my shunsh,” because it turns out that he was Jason Statham’s father the whole time, and then it cuts back to the title Fast & Furious 7 except suddenly the title changes to Fast & Furious 007. The end…or is it?*
*No. The story continues in Fast & Furious 8: Ride or Die Another Day.