Barney sort of took the words out of my mouth tonight on How I Met Your Mother.
As you probably recall, last week’s episode left off on what we thought was an impending confrontation between Barney and Ted, after Barney admitted that he saw Ted helping Robin find her locket at the park (which we saw last season). Ted immediately tried to deny that his gesture meant anything more than it appeared, and, to his surprise, Barney accepted his babbling defense. Or so it seemed. Spoilers ahead!
That’s when the favors began. You know, the Best Man favors. Ted, my aunt needs your hotel room. Ted, I need to store the poo-filled doves in your room. (“They carpet bombed my entire room…I wish I’d closed my suitcase — or my mouth.”) Ted, you need to redo the invites. Ted, William Zabka is my new best man. Okay, the last one wasn’t a favor, it was a fact. And it was the lone item in this sequence that tipped Ted off to the truth — Barney was pissed.
And, indeed, he was. But I side with the Barnacle on this one. You don’t go and hold hands with a Bro’s fiancee. As Barney put it, “holding hands is like the fourth grade version of banging — or for you, 12th grade.” Ted attempted to pass off the gesture as innocent, but they both eventually had to defer to Marshall (who was Facetiming into the action via an iPad that had been placed on a Marshmallow Man-type dummy). Marshall — who, by the looks of this, will be an excellent judge — ruled that in order for Ted’s defense to hold up, he had to prove that holding hands with a friend wasn’t “weird” by holding Barney’s hand. Close as these Bros are, let’s be real, it was weird.
Holding hands, however, proved to be a good way to draw the truth out of Ted (a truth we all already knew): He STILL had feelings for Robin. This is where Barney finally said what we’ve all been saying to Ted for 1,029,347,029,387 episodes, “Turn them off!” (Or something like that. Full disclosure, my cable was less reliable than a history lesson from Barney tonight. I’ll fill in the quote later when I can rewatch the episode. Or someone can help a girl/Bro out in the comments.) The point is, Barney lashed out at Ted for not being able to stop having feelings for Robin.But then, we learned, Ted was just as frustrated. He wished he could just stop, he said. He’s tried. The best he could do, he said, was swear on the Bro Code (now available in many hotel rooms and airplanes) to never hurt Barney. “I can’t promise that I’ll ever get to a place where it won’t be a little weird between me and Robin. I will do everything I can do move on and live with it. The question is, can you?” he told Barney.
Barney’s answer? Of course he could.
Ted was re-instated as best man and although the world seemed fine once again, there was one slight hiccup. William Zabka was not pleased with being replaced as best man. “I’m coming for you, Mosby,” he said. Gulp.
I’ve completely skipped over Robin and Lily’s storyline. But here’s what you need to know: Lily accused Robin of not having any female friends, and though Robin had trouble admitting it, her best friend was correct in her assessment. The second Robin found someone she got along with, however, Lily became a crazed jealous person. Seeing her reaction, Robin walked up to Lily and told her something every woman should tell her best friend once in her life: “You know, that’s why I only need you. You’re a psycho. You’re my psycho.” (I adore these two with my whole being…)
Thoughts on the episode?
*BONUS THOUGHT* My favorite quote of the night/new favorite comment about any female friend who wears flat shoes in public after 5 p.m.: “Comfortable shoes? What, are you filibustering later? Put on some heels!” — Robin
*Bonus thought #2* Tim Gunn was great.