'New Girl': Jacuzz'!

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Meanwhile, as EW exclusively previewed earlier, Schmidt was still very much juggling the affections of both Cece and Elizabeth. The latest crisis point came in the form of an office party. Schmidt had decided to take Cece (because — let’s be honest — she’s conventionally hotter), but his vengeful coworker Beth (Eva Amurri) threw a wrench into his well-oiled cheating machine by inviting Elizabeth. Schmidt showed up to Cece’s modeling gig on the night of the party with a pretty solid story about how the event was employees-only. Thinking her photo shoot would run late, she was cool with it. And then came out the live bees…

So Cece showed up at the party. Schmidt shuffled away Elizabeth, telling her, “Let me show you the stairwell — where they got the idea for the escalator!” Of course it wasn’t long before Elizabeth spotted Cece. But Schmidt was quick on his feet. Not only did he tell Elizabeth the completely plausible lie that Cece moonlighted as a caterer, he also convinced Elizabeth that they should start a role-play sex game wherein they were complete strangers and she was a businesswoman on the Hong Kong shift whose defining character trait was “first one to leave the party.” Meanwhile, he got Cece to wear an apron and carry a tray of food around because, he told her, it was the only way he could convince his boss she belonged at the employees-only party. Seriously, this is the kind of stuff only Schmidt could pull off.

Despite some serious interference from Beth, Schmidt had basically gotten Elizabeth out the door when Cece spotted her. Schmidt was about to come clean when Cece gave him an excuse so good he couldn’t refuse: “Does Elizabeth work here?” Of course he said yes! And so, when the two ladies had the face-to-face that could have ended Schmidt (and resulted in a non-Nadia penis breaking), they were each so bamboozled by the other’s cover story that it was a total non-event. Elizabeth complimented the food and noted how “the Asian markets wait for no one,” and Cece was impressed/pleased by how cold Elizabeth had been to Schmidt — all while being completely oblivious that she’d just been treated like the help.

So Schmidt lived to see another day as a two-timing Lothario — much to the chagrin of Beth. And yet! You could tell it was eating away at him. Schmidt may be a douche, but he’s not (entirely) heartless. We’ll just have to see how that one plays out over time, Newbies…

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