Tonight, the nine remaining master chefs catered a “surprise” (I’m still not buying it!) engagement party for host Curtis Stone and actress Lindsay Price (who married in June… and renewed their vows in Vegas in July, whew). Everyone seemed taken by Lindsay’s beauty, but no one quite knew who she was. Clearly these people were too busy doing something with their lives instead of watching the original 90210. No matter! In the spirit of the happy couple’s engagement, let’s count down… 10 Particularly Engaging Moments of this episode. SPOILER below…
10. Sang Yoon during the curry ‘n’ beer Quickfire Challenge. “You want curry to taste like an Arcade Fire song. Lots of layers. Orchestral.” With such an informed musical approach, is it any wonder he was declared the winner with his spicy North Thailand curry?
9. Something about the way Lynn Crawford leaned in and shouted her plan to make a “SIMPLE… VEGETARIAN… CURRY!” — it seemed like she was fiercely hugging the both the words and the concept itself. I for one would love to hug that curry. I’d even throw in a free product placement for Goose Island beers for the chance to do so.
8. Douglas Keane’s killer execution of another expensive name-drop: His coconut water curry was ever so light and clean “as it’s boiling on the G.E. MONOGRAM STOVE.” Flawless! Not blatant at all. I must have one of these stoves right away!
7. Neal Fraser exclaiming “Holy balls on crutches!” during the final moments of the Quickfire. How does that work?
6. Sue Zemanick’s urgent advice for Curtis after meeting Lindsay Price: “She’s beautiful. He’s a very lucky guy, and he needs to marry that sh*t.”
5. Bryan Voltaggio hurling groceries over the Whole Foods balcony and onto the escalator as he, Lynn, and Sang tried to make up for lost time — the Battle of the Sous Chefs left those three at a 15-minute disadvantage shopping-wise.
4. Sang creating a steamy spa effect after pouring liquid nitrogen directly onto the floor.
Which Arcade Fire song is this now?
3. Gail complaining that the thin swipe of chocolate underneath Franklin Becker’s doughnut balls was “a skid mark.”
2. Curtis Stone totally overdoing it with the lip gloss at the critics table:
1. Eliminated chef Franklin Becker tearing up about his oldest son, Sean, who wants to be a chef like his pops. “The toughest thing about having a child with Autism is that you have hopes and dreams for them, but you don’t know if they’re gonna realize them.”
Cheers to Top Chef for having Jason Bentley of Los Angeles public radio station KCRW guest-judge the Quickfire, but boo to him for complaining about the mussels. Digging into mussel shells is the best part — you feel like you’re really accomplishing something! Meanwhile, James Oseland of Saveur magazine played critic for the engagement party challenge. I was on his side re: his judgement of Franklin, who took on too much in the elimination challenge by spearheading two of his team’s four dishes. Why penalize someone for being too ambitious on Top Chef Masters?
It was probably Franklin’s problematic guava shooter that did him in. Gail DESPISED that cocktail. (Based on its description as horrifyingly sweet and overall jarring, I can tell I would have loved it. I have zero taste!)
NEXT WEEK: Restaurant wars! Giant egos will collide. Busy Philipps will say “Whoa.” in horror. Somebody won’t trust Sang Yoon! Sounds promising — we could really use some action up in here. Are you still tuning in?