'Arrested Development': Who's the most quotable Bluth? POLL

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Image Credit: Netflix

One of Arrested Development 1.0’s greatest strengths was its knack for giving every single character (“STEVE HOLT!”), no matter how minor (“Baby, you got a stew going”), a full array of endlessly repeatable lines (“Say goodbye to these!”). That said, the show’s true quote-masters have to be the dysfunctional Bluth-Fünke clan. Nearly everything that originates with this ennead is worthy of being embroidered onto a sampler and framed, or at least written in caps and superimposed over a still from the show. (Or a still from Game of Thrones!)

But among these Lords of Laughter, which Bluth-slash-Fünke reigns supreme? It’s only fair that we decide now, before the series returns on Netflix this Sunday (!) — and we’re flooded with 15 episodes of new quotes to consider.

Take a look back at some of each contender’s most memorable lines — both catchphrases and otherwise — and vote with your heart in the poll below. And if you’d rather pick a racially insensitive puppet over any of the nine other options… well, we’ll accept that answer as well.

George Bluth Sr.
“There’s always money in the banana stand.”
“Daddy horny, Michael.”
“I’ve got the worst f—ing attorneys.”
“No touching!” (While someone else is usually saying this around him, George does say it himself a few times:)

Lucille Bluth
“I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it.”
“I mean, it’s one banana, Michael. What could it cost? $10?”
“Ahhhh, GEEEENE!”
“Get me a vodka rocks.” (“Mom, it’s breakfast.”) “And a piece of toast.”

Gob Bluth
Illusion, Michael! A trick is something a whore does for money. …Or cocaine.” (Or “candy,” according to the original broadcast pilot.)
“I’ve made a huge mistake.”
“I hear the jury is still out on science.”
“Come on!”

Tobias Fünke
“An analyst and a therapist — the world’s first analrapist.”
“Who’d like a banger in the mouth?”
“Tobias, you blowhard!”
“I just blue myself.”

Michael Bluth
“Has anyone in this family ever even seen a chicken?”
“You seem more villainous than usual, Mom — are you sober?”
“Her?”
“It’s as Ann as the nose on plain’s face.”

Lindsay Bluth Fünke
“Guess what I’m calling it? Hot ham water.”
“It’s vodka, you know. It goes bad once it’s opened.”
(“It’s like we finish each others’…”) “…Sandwiches.”
“If you weren’t all the way on the other side of the room, I’d slap your face.”

Buster Bluth
“Heyyy brother!”
“I can spell, Mom. You spelled ‘juice.'”
“I’M A MONSTER.”
“It’s so watery… and yet there’s a smack of ham to it!”

George Michael Bluth
“What a fun, sexy time for you.”
“It’s a great day… for being sad.”
“Way to plant, Ann!”
“Wow, I’m Mr. Manager!”

Maeby Fünke
“She barely has a face. You couldn’t pick her out of a lineup of one.”
“Do you guys know where I can get one of those gold necklaces with a ‘T’ on it?”
“I figure I’ll kill her off just before graduation just so everyone gets really sad before prom.”
“Marry me!”

Franklin Delano Bluth
“Get your loser hand out of my ass.”
“Who you calling brother, you hook-ass [bleeeep]?”
“It ain’t easy being brown…”
“I DON’T WANT NO PART OF YOUR TIGHT ASS COUNTRY CLUB, YA FREAK BITCH!”


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Read more:
Lucille Bluth vs. the Disney Princesses
‘Arrested Development': Five favorite ‘sweet’ Bluth family moments
Taste the happy: The best ‘Arrested Development’ stuff on the Internet

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