Five ways 'Girls' can get rid of Charlie

Christopher-Abbott-Girls.jpg

Image Credit: Jessica Miglio/HBO

Writing a character off of a popular TV show is always awkward, especially when that character was part of a major storyline development in a show’s most recent finale. Such is the case with Girls and Charlie, played by Christopher Abbott, who will not be returning for the third season of the award-winning dramedy.

With season three already in production, Abbott’s departure seems especially abrupt. It was only a few weeks ago, after all, in the show’s second season finale, that Marnie (Allison Williams) and newly rich Charlie officially declared their on-and-off union very much back on. There was even talk of babies and settling down before a big, sweeping montage of the two walking off arm-in-arm before it all faded to black.

So how the heck are they going to get rid of him? We have a few ideas:

His app really takes off and he has to move unexpectedly to Silicon Valley

This might be the easiest and most realistic way to get rid of Charlie. His smartphone app, which was inspired by his long-suffering relationship with Marnie and prevented users from contacting an ex by charging a fee if they do, took off huge in season two and made him all sorts of loot. (Don’t even get us started on Marnie’s reinvigorated interest in Charlie after she found out he was rich!) It seems reasonable that he could be beckoned to the California tech stronghold to continue his work on the app or maybe even brainstorm a new product.

Charlie finds himself in a back alley with Adam, disappears mysteriously

Adam (played perfectly by Adam Driver) is a tricky character because we’re still not certain just how crazy he really is. Pretty crazy though, right? Dangerous? Possibly. Though season two ended with Marnie and Hannah’s (Lena Dunham) friendship still on shaky ground, we think Hannah will still have a very strong opinion about her reconciliation with Charlie. An opinion she’s likely to share with Adam. Who might be inclined to help his girl Hannah out by taking care of the problem. You know what we’re saying?

Charlie realizes Marnie is using him, is just not that into it

Dude, her renewed interest in you is for all the wrong reasons. Marnie’s had a tough year that included an especially strange sexcapade with artist Booth Jonathan (Jorma Taccone) and the difficult loss of her gallery job. Beyond even his new-found wealth, Charlie represents security to Marnie. They were together for years; they have a history. It’s easy and safe for Marnie to be with Charlie. None of these reason should be good enough for him though. Man up! She doesn’t love you the way you love her, bro. You deserve better.

Charlie finds his way into Elijah’s arms like we’ve always dreamed

Hannah’s openly gay ex Elijah (The New Normal star Andrew Rannells) tried and, er, pretty much failed to get it on with Marnie for obvious reasons. And sure, Charlie is straight, but having to put up with Marnie’s bull for so long has to make a guy rethink things. Elijah is a smokin’ hot good-time guy. We’re sure he’d be gentle.

Marnie comes to her senses and realizes that no amount of money will make Charlie any less boring

There was a reason you broke up in the first place, girl!

Follow John on Twitter: @JohnMitchell83

Read more:
Christopher Abbott not returning for season 3 of ‘Girls’
‘Girls’ season finale recap: A Rom-Com Ending
‘Girls’ picked up by HBO for a third season

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