Winston: I had the best sex of my life last night. Daisy said I was pretty good. You hear that? Pret-ty good! And I didn’t even use my hands.
Nick: You didn’t use your hands?
Winston: What? I just did a lot of side stuff.
Cece: You told me you had moved on.
Schmidt: Only people who haven’t moved on say things like that. I’m a squirrel, you’re my nut. Winter’s coming, and I’m gonna store you in my cheek, girl.
Cece: Please leave.
Schmidt: You and I not being together does not make sense to me. I miss your body… and the things I used to do to it.
Schmidt [whispering]: I’m talking about sex.
Cece: Today is about me finding someone within my own culture that I can build my life with. It’s about more than sex.
Schmidt: Our sex was about more than sex. It was about history… memory… thousands of years of colonial suffering all being released in one moment of pure ecstasy.
Cece: Then why did the sex always end with you yelling, “Blammo! That happened!”
Cece: You know why we’re at table 34?
Nick: ‘Cause we’re both bad at life, but we have model-good looks?
Schmidt continues to praise Indian stuff, sort of…
“When I came here today, I thought India was a pretty cool country. You guys are obviously smart — you look at the roof of a bus, and you say, ‘That’s not just a roof, that’s more seating.’ Kal Penn? He’s a genius, thank you for him. But what I didn’t know is that you are a country full of blind idiots. Because in your midst walks a brown angel. [Points to Cece] That woman, right there. I may be an idiot, but I’m smart enough to know what I lost. You people could have had it all, and you shoved her over there at a table with Nick. Get your crap together, India! Schmidt! Out.” [drops mic]
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