Back to Jess, who realized she’d made a mistake in dismissing Sam. She decided to drive to his hospital, narrowly avoiding a DUI — in part because, as the designated driver, she wasn’t drunk (just a damn mess on whom Winston had thrown a drink) and in part because the cop that stopped them was “Black Santa” (merry, faithful, and generous). When the hospital receptionist wouldn’t let her past the waiting room, Angie flashed her boobs, which proved a bit of a slow-up for the guys because, well… boobs!
They traveled through the halls like a less-organized, holiday-themed Breakfast Club, only to be stopped by a security guard. Jess was quick on her feet, launching into a madrigal rendition of “O Come All Ye Faithful.” Alas, everyone else wasn’t so quick on his/her feet (Schmidt’s contribution: “David… Hannukah… menorah”). Sam heard the choral cacophony and knew it had to be Jess. He walked out just as she finished up an American Idol-style overly confident runs (for which she received Glee-level inappropriate applause). It was all-around Fox-tastic, is what I’m saying.
Closing moments: Jess and Sam kissed. Schmidt and Cece wanted to kiss after he revealed he hadn’t given away the tungsten carbide bracelet Cece gave him (the one Statham wore in all the Transporter movies). Nick and Angie kissed… and then some. And Winston, though alone, was the episode’s MVP. There was no roommate dance party, but it was a pretty charming (midseason) finale no less.
And without further ado…
Jess on Christmas:
“Someone tells me a fat man’s bringing me dolls every year, I just don’t question it.”
The roommates’ potential holiday parties…
Schmidt: Slate and Sienna are having a house thing. Oshiro san is serving whale meat after midnight.
Jess: Sadie is having a cookie decorating party.
Schmidt: The Gorilla Twins are having a thump-thump.
Schmidt on Christmas:
“You [Jess] would have been my nightmare [as a kid]. We were on very strict orders from Rabbi Shmuli not to say a word until the last Christian kid found about Santa Claus. Ruining Christmas? Very bad for our brand.”
“I just want to spend the night making it with some fatty in an elf costume. Is that too much to ask for? Instead I’m stuck here at this lesbian cookie party. It’s all wreaths, no trees.”
“I don’t celebrate Christmas. Or as I like to call it, White Anglo Saxon Winter Privilege Night.”
“I’m so sick of hanging out with Christians. This is my last Christian Christmas!”