'The Big Bang Theory' react: Sheldon and Amy get kinky

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Image Credit: CBS

On the heels of last week’s nude fest, tonight’s episode of The Big Bang Theory was pretty kinky.

We opened with an insightful conversation about Spider-Man‘s theme song, begging the question, can Spider-Man really do whatever a spider can? The boys part ways before Raj’s film festival on movies that kill their franchises. Howard goes to Bernadette’s parents’ house for dinner and Sheldon heads to Amy’s apartment to accompany her to a colleague’s memorial service.

The geeky duo doesn’t end up going to the funeral because Amy is too sick, but Sheldon steps up and fulfills another relationship obligation instead. “You’re sick? You poor, kid. Well, see ya,” he says initially after hearing the news, but thanks to their relationship agreement, he then returns to her door out of guilt and love. “I made a commitment in writing to comfort you in times like this. And additionally, you are my girlfriend and I care about your well-being.” I awwwed as well up until he said “now, let’s get this over with.” Now that’s the Sheldon I know and love (read: don’t really care for). Instead of nurturing her as predicted (you know, by feeding her chicken soup, reading her Chicken Soup for the Soul, and singing “Soft Kitty”), he instead tries to give her a placebo and rub-down. “You want to rub something on my chest?” Amy asks with gleeful excitement. “Yes. All over it,” Sheldon says matter-of-factly. Okay, so he actually applies Vicks VapoRub to her body, but it’s sensual nonetheless. It leaves Amy “all fired-up.”  Things get hotter when Sheldon helps her bathe in a nerve-wracking bath of indeterminate temperature.

As the lovebirds got physical, Howard endured an awkward silent conversation with his father-in-law. Maybe if he put down the white wine and picked up a cold brew every now and then, Bernadette’s dad would think more highly of him. His stolen Spider-Man theme song and foul chicken jokes flop, making the encounter ever more unbearable. After he mentions a fishing trip, Bernadette convinces her father to let Howard tag along.

Afraid that he’s going to make a fool out of himself during the fishing trip, Howard turns to the manliest person he knows to teach him the sport. Penny, of course. She forces him to first hook a worm (he names it instead) then gut a fish. In the most touching scene of the night, we learn more about their father-less upbringings. Leonard’s anthropologist father spent all his time with a 2,000-year-old skeleton of an Etruscan boy. Raj’s gynecologist father was also buried in his work. Poor Howard, on the other hand, was left staring out the window as a child, longing for his father’s return.

We find out that Amy is no longer sick when Bernadette comes to visit her with experimental drugs in tow. She got better two days ago, but wanted Shelly to continue to take care of her. But you can’t pull a fast one on Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper. Worried that her symptoms weren’t improving, he took a cheek swab when she was napping to check for cultures. Amy apologizes for lying, but Sheldon insists on penalizing her. His punishment of choice? Well, since he can’t lock her in a stockade in a public square, he decides to spank her, like his dad spanked his brother (more daddy drama!). It’s safe to say she was more than prepared to receive her punishment. Amy puts on some mood music (thank the universe that she didn’t take Bernadette’s medicine or else she would have been lactating uncontrollably) and howls in excitement so Sheldon simply spanks her harder.

Howard chickens out of his trip with his father-in-law when he realizes that hunting is also on the itinerary. He tells Bernadette’s father his reservations and learns that he was also forced by his wife to go on the bonding expedition. They instead head to an Indian casino near Palm Springs to shoot craps instead of ducks. It’s too bad. The fish would have probably been too distracted by Howard’s cartoon fisherman outfit to swim away.

Here are some of tonight’s best lines:

Raj: “Spiders give me the geebie geebies.”
Howard: “It’s heebie jeebies.”
Raj: “I know, but that sounds anti-Semitic.”

Raj: “You know a movie’s bad when my homegirl Sandra B. can’t save it.”

Sheldon: “You know what I like to do when I’m forced to speak with those beneath my intellectual station? I bring up an interesting topic like the difference between Spider-Man and spiders.”

Raj: “Do you know how many beef wellingtons I made by myself before I invited you guys over? I’ll give you a hint. You can see them here, [points to his gut], here [points to his  love handles], and here [points to his butt].”

Bernadette: “How’s a poor thing?”
Sheldon: “Awww, I’m hanging in there. Thanks for asking.”

Penny: “That’s great. Cheerleading. Way to man things up.”

Raj: “Mine just took me to his gynecology office. I got so bored I’d put vaginal lubricant on the bottom of my shoes and pretend I was ice skating.”

Amy: “I’ll tell him tomorrow. Mama needs a bath.”

Howard: “No, but I’m not a stranger to dice games. I was the Temple Beth El Hebrew School yahtzee champion.”

Howard: “Boy, we’re just married to a couple of ball-busters, huh Mike?”
Mike “That’s my wife and daughter you’re talking about.”
Howard: “Great couple of gals.”
Mike: “I wouldn’t go that far.”

Read more:
‘The Big Bang Theory’ react: Sheldon and Howard get naked
‘Big Bang Theory’: 15 Great Holiday Gifts for Fans
‘Big Bang Theory’ behind the scenes: Dressing Penny, Amy and Bernadette — VIDEO

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