It doesn’t make you a Grinch to hate Christmas commercials — those annual 30-second guilt-trips that prey on our insecure sense of obligation and expectation. But your heart has to be two sizes too small if this Dick’s Sporting Goods commercial doesn’t make you want to rescue that sleigh full of floofloovers, trumtookas, and — yes — baseball gloves before dumping it off the peak of Mount Crimpet.
Watch it below, before I say too much.
Okay, so maybe you didn’t cry, tough guy, but there’s no shame in squeezing out a tear (or nine) over what I’m calling “Two Brothers and the Golden Glove.” Just rub some dirt on it. The song, by the way, is the Lumineer’s “Stubborn Love.” (The Lumineers also hit a home run when “Ho Hey” played over this Bing commercial.)
Of course, there remains the outstanding issue of the most oblivious parents in American history: The younger brother Brady clearly loves baseball and idolizes his older jock brother, but they can’t be bothered to help Santa give the kid a glove? Years later, after being the lowly batboy, wearing eye-black, and shadowing his brother everywhere, “Santa” is still giving the kid video games. Do they even know their kid’s name? Either Brady eventually takes his brother’s Golden Glove and blossoms into the next Derek Jeter, or he spends the next 30 years wearing eye-black to his therapy sessions and sobbing to his shrink that his parents never loved him. Maybe both?
More than anything, this commercial made me want to buy a baseball glove and send it to Prince Harry.