'How I Met Your Mother' recap: 'Dammit, Patrice!'

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Image Credit: CBS

Robin desperately wanted something that she couldn’t have on tonight’s How I Met Your Mother — and I’m not talking about a big plate of lobster.

I’m talking about Barney, of course, the man who last week claimed he was done chasing Robin forever, which apparently made Robin want him more. Oye.

But according to Robin, her overwhelming need for Barney’s attention and affection did not stem from a deep-seeded love, she claimed it came from a weird, unfortunate desire to have something she was being denied. To combat this, she applied (flawed) logic: As with her lobster allergy, she thought if she had one last bite, she’d lose the craving. In this case, she needed one more night with Barney to officially get over him.

I can see you shaking your head from here, readers. Robin, Robin, Robin…what’s happened to you? Are you nuts?! Luckily, Lily agreed with us. (“Big mistake,” she told Robin.) But Robin went forward with her plan to fight her way into Barney’s pants, and she went to all sorts of lengths to do so. She played the “damsel in distress” card, the “make him jealous” card, the “I’m going to make you think dirty thoughts about me in a girl-on-girl situation” card, and the “let me dress up like Lara Croft to turn you on” card. None worked.

Bummed, Robin tried one last trick — she showed up to Barney’s apartment wearing nothing but a trenchcoat and several pieces of uncomfortable-looking black undergarments. Standing in her knickers on his doorstep, Robin had no shame — that is, until she saw her arch-enemy Patrice sitting on Barney’s couch.

As Barney revealed, when he was about to get dirty in 17 states at one time with Robin’s co-star from the girl-on-girl bit (who was also the weather girl at Robin’s station), he had a major change of heart and decided that his behavior for the past few weeks was a result of a broken heart. And at the same time as he was making this deep realization, he found himself face-to-face with Patrice, who turned out to be just the listening ear Barney needed. He ditched the weather girl, talked with Patrice through the night, and asked Patrice out on a proper date.

Robin was understandably mortified upon hearing all of this. Dammit, Patrice!!

I was blue after the whole thing unfolded. (My RoBarn heart is in a constant state of torture this season.) So I was happy that the episode ended on a cute note — with a flash forward!

To explain its significance, however, I have to rewind a bit. (Two weeks away, and I’ve apparently lost my recapping flow! Ugh, Dammit, Sandra!) Ted spent most of this episode bonding with Marvin, which Lily and Marshall loved in theory. But when he started getting too involved in Marvin’s young life (he took him to see Santa AND was the sole witness to the First Crawl) they became displeased.

Much like Barney, Ted’s problem stemmed from his dissatisfaction with his current situation. He had no passion project at work, no love life, and was far from experiencing the family bliss that Marshall and Lily have. Luckily, Marshall and Lily gave him a nudge and set him on the right path career-wise. And, we learned, they also eventually got even: They stole his daughter’s first meeting with Santa. Muahaha!

I’m actually a major sucker for all of these flashforwards because as we’ve been told before by the creative team, they are reminders that everything eventually will be okay for the gang. Ted will have his family, Robin and Barney will be together, and they’ll all have their friends around for it all. So when the journey is rocky (aka: now) those are comforting.

Do you feel the same way, gang? Any more thoughts on the episode?

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