'Parks and Rec': Leslie's 5 Best Lines from 'Pawnee Commons'

Image Credit: Adam Rose/NBC

Image Credit: Adam Rose/NBC

Leave it to Eagleton to stir up the crazy in Leslie Knope.

Last night’s episode of Parks and Recreation rekindled the “blood feud” between Pawnee and neighboring Eagleton when an Eagletonian architect offered to design Pawnee’s new park. The guy’s nice as can be and extremely well-qualified, but Leslie’s knee-jerk derision threatens to thwart the whole plan — which happens to be pro bono. The situation further deteriorates when a couple of pranksters from Eagleton make a mockery of Pawnee’s citizens. As you can imagine, Leslie’s vitriol makes for some of the more memorable moments.

5. “I told you the Eagletonians are awful, terrible people. They call their boogers ‘Pawnee caviar.'”

4. “I’m not being melodramatic when I say that people from Eagleton are snobby and evil and they look down on Pawnee and they would most likely exterminate everyone who isn’t from Eagleton if they weren’t so busy being obsessed with themselves. [Deep breath] God, that was close. Sometimes when I rant about Eagleton I forget to breathe and I pass out.”

3. Leslie: “Wow. Beautiful fountain, perfectly manicured shrubbery. This is like Parks department porn. This guy is great. I don’t care if he’s some junkie war-criminal pimp, I am not gonna change my mind.”

Ben: “His name’s Reston St. James. He’s from Eagleton.

Leslie: “Oh, I’ve changed my mind.”

2. “No one from Eagleton has ever wanted to help anyone from Pawnee for any reason. In 1988 we were hit by a tornado. We asked Eagleton for help and they claimed they weren’t home. An entire town claimed they weren’t home.”

Of course I’d kick myself if I didn’t mention the night’s best scene: the cold open. A few amusing subplots aside (Bert Macklin! Rent-A-Swag! DJ Roomba!), the NPR-skewering opening sequence totally stole the show. It nailed every idiosyncrasy of public radio and goes down as one of the best segments in the entire series. It also yielded Leslie’s single funniest line, due in large part to Amy Poehler’s expert delivery in a panic-stricken decrescendo.

1. “This park is going to be a celebration of Pawnee, by Pawnee, and for Pawnee, so, you know, send in your plan, or your resumé. And quick — please, hurry… this is all gonna fall apart if you don’t hurry.”

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