There’s hope for us all! Elizabeth Lemon and Criss Chros finally tied the knot. If you didn’t even know they were engaged, don’t worry. The whole thing—engagement to “I Do’s”—happened in the course of “Mazel Tov, Dummies!” Here’s how it all went down: Liz and Criss ran into
mayhem Dennis Duffy and discovered that he was married. (Who would marry Dennis? Megan, maiden name Duffy—hopefully no relation. That’s who.) Dennis also happened to have an adopted son named Black Dennis. And that was just too much for Liz to take.
Liz has been on the adoption lists for years, and apparently the only thing holding her back was her singleness. She and Criss briefly discussed the fact that marriage is only a piece of paper. And they totally love each other, so blamo! Engaged! But leave it to Lemon to not want to make a big deal about her impending nuptials, a thought-process not at all surprising coming from the woman who once dreamt of marrying Saul Rosenbear on the Love Boat. Anyway, Lemon didn’t want a special day, nor did she want to be a princess. So she decided to marry Criss at City Hall while wearing a sweatshirt and no bra. Romance at its finest. Eventually, the stress of a last-minute marriage got to Lemon. Criss added to that by inviting Dennis and forgetting his birth certificate. But it was all a ruse to help show Lemon that she really did want a special day. The couple quickly changed their plans to make it the a day they’d always remember.
Lemon wore the only white dress she owns, her Princess Leia costume. She even kept the infamous Leia hairstyle so she’d feel like a true princess. Jack did a reading from Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead. And Liz and Criss exchanged bling they purchased at a police auction. Nothing says true love like a multi-finger “Tito” ring and a gold grill. Tony Bennett, who owed Jack a favor, even sang. It was pretty perfect. (If you’re Liz Lemon. No other bride in history would covet that mess, save for the Tony Bennett part.)
In non-nuptial news, Tracy was struggling with the fact that he had no major health issues. He’d always assumed he’d die young because he, you know, looks so much like James Dean. But his physical with Dr. Spaceman proved that assumption wrong. Saddened by the fact that he’d no longer to be able to live without any consequences, he traded in his chainsaw hat fund for a kids’ college fund, and started to make responsible decisions. This culminated with Tracy being hit by a cab, not once, but twice. After getting hit, Tracy had a heart-to-heart with
Harry Truman Harriet Tubman in his mind. Harriet (a.k.a. Jack) taught him that a number of things could still kill him at a young age. And that was just the pep talk he needed to hear to return to his reckless ways.
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